Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Why does Kate keep burning bridges?

Last week Kate's former Dancing With the Stars partner told a reporter that he hasn't heard from Kate since his heroic effort to turn her into a halfway respectable dancer failed miserably. This comes after months of reports that Kate wanted him fired and walked out on him numerous times (one time of which was shown in an episode). "She hasn't stayed in touch with me," Tony Dovolani said unequivocally. Another person left behind in Kate's wake.

Now we're hearing reports that the Dancing With the Stars cast is planning a reunion get-together. And Kate's not invited. Seems the cast doesn't think she deserves an invite when she never bothered to keep in touch. Add them to the laundry list of people Kate wants nothing to do with anymore: The grandparents, Jodi, Kevin, Beth, various nannies and helpers, and Jon. Heck, even the dogs.

As a celeb, it's never a good idea to burn bridges. Actually, it's usually not a good idea for anyone. You never know how these people might help you out further down the line. So why does Kate keep doing it? Some possibilities:

  • Narcissism. This personality disorder, at its core, is extreme self-centerdness. Therefore, people are of no use to a narcissist unless they are feeding their self-centerdness. Once that other person wises up and no longer allows the narcissist to use them, a narcissist will discard them and move on to the next person to suck the lifeblood out of. And so on and so on. A narcissist is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends. They also lack empathy--they are unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. Therefore, estranging a person is all in a day's work to a narcissist, not thinking or realizing how heartbreaking being cut off can be for the other person (for example, Aunt Jodi.)


  • Stupidity. Kate thinks she can navigate this world of publicity the way she wants to do it, not realizing to nurture and maintain your celebrity, you need the help of others. People like the DWTS contestants.

  • Laziness. Kate has repeatedly been shown to be a lazy person who is waited on hand and foot and delegates the work to everyone else then not only takes credit for it all, but pretends that none of those people ever did any work at all and that most of them don't even exist. Calling, texting and emailing to maintain at least a casual friendship takes work she is not willing to do.

  • Arrogance. Kate believes her own publicity. She believes she brought in all the extra viewers to DWTS and that it had nothing to do with Erin and Pam and Evan as well. She believes she is a bigger star than any of the DWTS dancers or contestants put together, and therefore, has no use for them.
Kate's last few remaining fans still waving the tattered flag will say, "How dare you assume such a thing. You don't know the reasons why she doesn't talk to these people. They could be toxic for her and the kids!" Well, maybe, if it were just a few people she has estranged. But this woman pops them left and right. Are we really to believe that all those people are toxic, and Kate is in the right? Fool me twice shame on me. And if Tony Dovolani were a toxic person, wouldn't the long list of partners he has danced with before and their big mouths said something by now? Instead we've heard nothing but good things about Tony since season one of DWTS. It's Kate who is toxic, not the other way around.
I once represented the perpetrator in an elder abuse case. She was accused of neglecting her elderly mother. She also had a 13-year-old daughter. Ultimately the case was dismissed. But I'll always remember what the judge said just before she dismissed the case: "Ma'am, there just was not enough evidence to sustain these counts again you, that's the only reason why I can't take jurisdiction. I wish I could. But just remember, someday you too will be your mother's age. And your daughter will be taking care of you. What have you taught her?"
Food for thought for Kate: If your eight children are watching the way you treat people, they are also learning how they should treat people. What makes you think that when they see you react to something you don't like by estranging their grandparents, relatives, and friends, they won't grow up and do the same to you when you do something they don't like? Keep on burning those bridges, Kate.

31 sediments (sic) from readers:

fidosmommy said...

Great work, Admin. It needed to be said.

My best guess is that Kate will not CARE if her children are estranged from her when they are adults. I don't think she will CARE if she does not have a relationship with grandchildren.
Grandchildren would be just more work for Kate.
I truly believe she would be happiest if she lived alone, was free to go shopping whenever she wanted, live in her house (hers, all hers!)
in peace and only surround herself with those who were willing to do her laundry, cook her food, mow her grass, and remember to send a card
on her behalf for the children's birthdays.

I think Kate's dream life is to live alone, but
be famous and rich. Nothing more, nothing less.

my9cats said...

Excellent commentary. Hit all the points.
Too bad the sheeple will not understand a word of it.

Same Old Same Old said...

my9cats said...

Excellent commentary. Hit all the points.
Too bad the sheeple will not understand a word of it.

----

Comments like this are so obnoxious. It is possible to both understand and disagree with someone's opinion. Perhaps that's a concept that you're not capable of understanding.

Judy said...

She's back !
Pics of the babysitters, bodyguards (whoops, I mean extra babysitters,and the new "Mama Grissly" arrived at LAX yesterday.
Look out....the tanning, hair,Target,Whole Foods and jogging pics will begin showing up on a daily basis again.
Hummm...it I were Steve's wife..the locks on my doors would be changed, his clothes ( what is left of them)sitting on the porch and the papers waiting to be served at my attorneys office.
Gina is a very stupid woman,or else she is just as money hungry as Kate.

http://celebrity-gossip.net/kate-gosselin/image

Barbara said...

The answer to why does Kate keep burning bridges is 'because she is Kate'. It's as simple as that. She doesn't give a damn. She thinks she is invincible and no matter what she does won't matter. She is KATE GOSSELIN, hear her roar.

TLC stinks said...

Since maybe Kate's not capable of sustaining any long term relationships, Gina Neild figures this too will pass.

Same Old Same Old said...

Judy said...

She's back !
Pics of the babysitters, bodyguards (whoops, I mean extra babysitters,and the new "Mama Grissly" arrived at LAX yesterday.
Look out....the tanning, hair,Target,Whole Foods and jogging pics will begin showing up on a daily basis again.
Hummm...it I were Steve's wife..the locks on my doors would be changed, his clothes ( what is left of them)sitting on the porch and the papers waiting to be served at my attorneys office.
Gina is a very stupid woman,or else she is just as money hungry as Kate.
----
Or perhaps since she's actually living it and you're just reading about it and making guesses about what's going on, she has a better understanding of the situation than you do. The woman has done nothing to deserve to be insulted so saying she's either very stupid or money hungry is really uncalled for.

my9cats said...

Same Old Same Old said... my9cats said...

Excellent commentary. Hit all the points.
Too bad the sheeple will not understand a word of it.

----

"Comments like this are so obnoxious. It is possible to both understand and disagree with someone's opinion. Perhaps that's a concept that you're not capable of understanding."


I have the right to my POV just as you do your's. EOD.

Administrator said...

Same Old Same Old said...
The woman has done nothing to deserve to be insulted.

She's done nothing? I'll have to disagree with you there. For starters, she sold eight children's privacy to the highest bidder and they'll probably never get it back. It's the kids who have done nothing to deserve THAT.

K8SUCKS said...

Yup, the common denominator with everything negative is KATE.

Also, I think the explanation of " K8 didn't keep in touch" is the DWTS cast's polite way of saying they did not want her there because she was/is a bitch. If she had been a decent person but with a really busy schedule, I doubt she would have been snubbed.

Not that K8 cares anyway.........

JudyK said...

As usual, the children look exhausted and sad. Why oh why is TLC unstoppable? My Gawd. They will, in effect, have had NO summer vacation where they can be camera-free children playing in their yard and pool (while their nannies watch them).

Same Old Same Old said...

Administrator said...

Same Old Same Old said...
The woman has done nothing to deserve to be insulted.

She's done nothing? I'll have to disagree with you there. For starters, she sold eight children's privacy to the highest bidder and they'll probably never get it back. It's the kids who have done nothing to deserve THAT.

----

I was talking about GINA. The person referred to GINA as very stupid and money hungry. Last I checked, she didn't sell eight children's privacy to anyone.

What's with that said...

Gina is a very stupid woman,or else she is just as money hungry as Kate.

Harsh! With Steve being gone for such long periods of time, and with him showing up at Kate's 4th pool party with only his sons, how do we know Gina hasn't given Steve the heave-ho?

mama mia said...

Kate's conscience works something like this: "am I getting paid?" -"your kids are in danger" - "and I getting paid?" "your kids are in danger" - "I SAID AM I GETTING PAID?" "Yes" "Then we'll do it, now get me a latte and send in my assistant, I want her to remind the nanny the kids are to be dressed alike all next week".

NancyB said...

Bravo! You write very well. You left no room for anyone with half a brain to counter. The pictures at the bottom of your post are a perfect choice and send a strong statement. Well done.

fidosmommy said...

A bit off topic, but oh well. I caught some of
The Little Couple (Bill Klein and Dr. Jen Arnold) on TLC last night. They were answering some viewers' questions. One was about whether the cameras were there all the time. The answer was no. But then, Jen indicated there were some moments she had to do things differently since the cameras were there (like
getting an ultrasound of her ovaries - normally one doesn't wear a drape in the procedure room for that, and it is an internal exam - but she had to because cameras were there before and after the ultrasound.)

Also, she said she wished they were not there as much as they are.

This is a professional adult woman who has some control over what cameras can and cannot see. Imagine the stress of little children who may say they don't want something filmed and it gets filmed anyway. Zero control, nobody listens. We must obey Mommy and fulfill Mommy's wishes at all cost to our happiness.

It breaks my heart.

Born In The USA said...

Same Old said:
"Comments like this are so obnoxious. It is possible to both understand and disagree with someone's opinion. Perhaps that's a concept that you're not capable of understanding.

Posting rule #2: No insulting other posters.

"The woman [Gina] has done nothing to deserve to be insulted so saying she's either very stupid or money hungry is really uncalled for."

But by insulting another poster, aren't you doing the very same thing that you accuse HER of doing (about Gina)? The poster has done NOTHING to you!

Hippie Chick said...

As long as these people stop doing things for her, she doesn't care anymore. That's what will happen with her kids. Once they stop making her money, she will stop having a relationship with them & it will not bother her in the least, IMO.

OzNTM said...

Same Old Same Old, I'm curious, what part(s) of Admin's post did you disagree with and why?

Same Old Same Old said...

Born In The USA said...

Same Old said:
"Comments like this are so obnoxious. It is possible to both understand and disagree with someone's opinion. Perhaps that's a concept that you're not capable of understanding.

Posting rule #2: No insulting other posters.

"The woman [Gina] has done nothing to deserve to be insulted so saying she's either very stupid or money hungry is really uncalled for."

But by insulting another poster, aren't you doing the very same thing that you accuse HER of doing (about Gina)? The poster has done NOTHING to you!

----

I disagree with your comparison. The poster made a comment that I found obnoxious and commented in return. That's what normally happens on message boards and blogs. Gina Neild, on the other hand, did not make a comment nor engage in any behavior known to the poster that warranted such a comment. She is not a public figure and should be left alone.

Born In The USA said...

Same Old...
You didn't comment, you made an insulting remark, unless you consider "perhaps that's not a concept that you're capable of understanding" not to be condescending and insulting.
I don't know what else you'd call it. It certainly wasn't a pleasant remark! It's rude and implies that the poster lacks intelligence. Rule #2.


Same old, same old...

Same Old Same Old said...

Born In The USA said...

Same Old...
You didn't comment, you made an insulting remark, unless you consider "perhaps that's not a concept that you're capable of understanding" not to be condescending and insulting.
I don't know what else you'd call it. It certainly wasn't a pleasant remark! It's rude and implies that the poster lacks intelligence. Rule #2.


Same old, same old...

---

And her comment was insulting to anyone who happens to disagree with the content of the original post. Of course, that's okay with you because you agree with her. Same old, same old indeed.

PaMa said...

Geez ... if this is a case of having to have the last word, can you just forget it and move on?

My Name Is Jessica said...

I must respond to this. I was "raised" by a classic textbook narcissist mother (who also had Borderline Personality Disorder, but anyway).

She used to punish her parents by not letting them see us. Well, she was punishing us, too, because we loved our grandparents!

She left our dad, pushed him out of our lives, and then pushed HARD for termination of parental rights so her second husband could adopt us. Our dad was so intimidated by the legal system (and this was the 70s) that he actually agreed to it. So she took our own father away from us, something that rocked my world so completely it took me years of counseling to recover from and I think I could be 90 years old and if I think too long about losing my father, I could still cry.

She took PLEASURE in cutting people out of her life and our lives. It was all about control and punishment and hurting people.

Guess what? She has three grandchildren. One from me and two from my brother. She hasn't seen my daughter since she was four. My daughter (almost grown) has no memory of her. I decided she was far too toxic and dangerous for my daughter to grow up around. (She's also spontaneously violent, drives drunk, gets arrested, etc. A mess.)

My brother decided when his kids were 6 and 4 and our mother would intentionally grab cookies out of their hands to make them cry then MAKE FUN OF THEM CRYING that he'd finally had enough. She hasn't seen them or my brother since.

I haven't seen her since 1999. And it will stay that way.

She enjoyed hurting people by cutting them out of our lives and her life. And now she knows how it feels. She's the only person I've ever completely cut out of my life. But it was a good decision. I had no choice about growing up around her, as the Gosselin kids have no choice now.

But when they are adults? They will have a choice. And that is when she will reap what she has sown.

Born In The USA said...

"Geez ... if this is a case of having to have the last word, can you just forget it and move on?"
----------------

LOL!! Absolutely! Speaking of having "last words", I always think of Pancho Villa, the Mexican Revolution general. When he was dying, he said, ""Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something." ;-)

Regarding Gina. Perhaps there are some here who know her, but I would venture to say that not too many here really know her personally, or her relationship with her husband, or the state of their marriage. Nothing has been made public. There was speculation some time ago that they had divorced, but it turns out it was not THAT Steve Nield. It may be that they have a very solid relationship, and that she trusts her husband beyond any shadow of a doubt, and knows that there is nothing going on between her husband and Kate, and just laughs off the rumors as tabloid gossip. I wouldn't be comfortable letting my husband travel with another woman and acting as a surrogate father to her children...no matter how firm a foundation our marriage would be, but that's just me. Quite honestly, I'd hear the chatter about an affair, and I would wonder. Not every woman is the same, though. It's a very personal issue and each woman is different and listens to her heart as well as her head.

There are many here who think that there's something strange about that entire situation. Until some kind of proof comes out, he files for divorce and Kate declares her undying love for him, then it's all speculation, and for me, at least, commenting that Gina's money-hungry and really not a very smart person just isn't cool, and in my opinion, an unfair judgment.

my9cats said...

I never made a comment about Gina. Only about Admins completely on target commentary.
I also do not go to "pro" sites. This is my 'blog home' and here I shall stay. And comment. Deal.

dee3 said...

Excellent entry, Administrator.

I just wanted to say that although it is possible that one day, Kate won't care what the children do and won't be interested in having a relationship with them (because they are of no use to her any longer).......it is also possible that she will compete with them, esp. the daughters, and try to belittle and criticize them at every opportunity.
She could guilt-trip them that everything they are and that they have is thanks to her....and that they owe her. She will play favorites and try to set the children against each other....when anyone displeases her and this would include not doing what she says or suggests. She could even set grandchildren against their parents.

And if the children wise up and avoid her, she will weep and wail to anyone who will listen about how ungrateful they are...after all she sacrificed for them.

Just an aside....I have an older neighbor on our floor who is a classic narcissist and she apparently has 4 children (and also grandchildren)....and in ALL the years I've lived here....I have NEVER seen even ONE of them visit her. Ever. Nor has anyone else here ever seen anyone visit her. People in the building hide when they see her in order to avoid her.

But trust me....neither she nor Kate learn any lesson from this. They are always in the right and the children are wrong.

Christina said...

She only cares about surrounding heself with paid staff (not by her of course) or people earning her money. No wholesome and genuine relationships in her world!

HW said...

I also believe Kate will not care one bit if her children never speak to her again. She will act as though she cares so she can play the victim - the poor single mother whose children have abandoned her. But she won't care a bit. She does not enjoy being a mother and if she truly loved those children she would let them live with somebody who loved, cherished and enjoyed them - Jodie and Kevin.

Hot In PA said...

Why does Kate keep burning bridges? I don't think that this requires a diatribe or extensive psycho-analysis. The answer is easy...because she has the personality of a wet mop. Who wants to be around that?

My Name Is Jessica said...

I must respond to this. I was "raised" by a classic textbook narcissist mother (who also had Borderline Personality Disorder, but anyway).

She used to punish her parents by not letting them see us. Well, she was punishing us, too, because we loved our grandparents!

She left our dad, pushed him out of our lives, and then pushed HARD for termination of parental rights so her second husband could adopt us. Our dad was so intimidated by the legal system (and this was the 70s) that he actually agreed to it. So she took our own father away from us, something that rocked my world so completely it took me years of counseling to recover from and I think I could be 90 years old and if I think too long about losing my father, I could still cry.

She took PLEASURE in cutting people out of her life and our lives. It was all about control and punishment and hurting people.

Guess what? She has three grandchildren. One from me and two from my brother. She hasn't seen my daughter since she was four. My daughter (almost grown) has no memory of her. I decided she was far too toxic and dangerous for my daughter to grow up around. (She's also spontaneously violent, drives drunk, gets arrested, etc. A mess.)

My brother decided when his kids were 6 and 4 and our mother would intentionally grab cookies out of their hands to make them cry then MAKE FUN OF THEM CRYING that he'd finally had enough. She hasn't seen them or my brother since.

I haven't seen her since 1999. And it will stay that way.

She enjoyed hurting people by cutting them out of our lives and her life. And now she knows how it feels. She's the only person I've ever completely cut out of my life. But it was a good decision. I had no choice about growing up around her, as the Gosselin kids have no choice now.

But when they are adults? They will have a choice. And that is when she will reap what she has sown.

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