Saturday, April 30, 2011

Reality show aftermath: Little People Big World family still has at least five stalkers, Jacob no longer in school

With Kate Plus 8 ratings in the toilet, and cancellation inevitable sooner rather than later, what's going to happen to the Gosselin eight once this mess of a reality tv life finally comes to an end? Will the aftermath be even worse than what's happening now?

A revealing interview with Matt Roloff of the long-running TLC reality show Little People Big World, which was canceled just last year, gives a disturbing insight into how uncertain the future may be for these eight reality tv kids.

Says Matt:

  • The stalkers have not gone away even though the show is over. "We have multiple stalkers and we take them all extremely serious. The FBI is involved and multiple agencies. Don't get me wrong, we don't call the police for every little thing we get, but there are just some things that go beyond the norm and need to be taken seriously and addressed. But we do have about five open cases right now."

  • Jacob is now home-schooled. He was only eight years old when the first documentary aired, and had filmed more than 150 episodes of Little People by the time he was 13, including countless couch interviews. "Jacob has struggled this last year. He's a very, very smart guy, and always had good grades, but this past year he seems to have lost interest in school. His grades are to the point to where he will very likely not continue in private school. The school has a very strict grade point average standard that has to be met consistently, and if you don't make that average, you no longer qualify to be enrolled. Amy and I are frustrated with the schools lack of flexibility or concern and encouragement for Jacob so close to his eighth grade graduation. It would be very disappointing if Jacob could not continue, but it actually may wind up being for the best. It may be exactly what he needs, AND what we need to yank him out of his rut so he can move on and thrive. We are pleased that as of today his grades are on the rise."

On April 25, Amy revealed on her Facebook page that Jake is now homeschooled. But according to Matt, it was the school's fault. Sound familiar?

  • It's very hard to please demanding fans. "TLC has gotten a lot better over the years with allowing us to speak more freely to and with our fans. Mostly everyone in the family pretty much leaves it up to me to keep our fans informed of what's going on with the family because I have the facebook, the forum and whatnot. Amy keeps her facebook updated as well. What people don't realize is, it's can be a very slippery slope when we get involved so personally and directly like we do. Someone may ask a question and we answer it. But then someone else asks another, but we miss it for whatever reason, and don't answer it. Then that person may get angry or feel slighted and get their feeling hurt. Or people may interpret your words differently than you intended. Try as we might, we just can't answer everyone's question and what we say is not going to please everyone. But we do appreciate our fans and wish we had more time to devote to everyone."

  • TLC wants viewers to talk about rumors about this real family even if they are not true. "It takes all kinds to make the world go-around and we tried to appreciate everybody's opinion. TLC certainly told us many times that the “crazier the chatter” the more interesting we are for filming."

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Kate: 'More Kate + 8 on the way. Yay!"

Kate had a meeting with production today. "No. Neither is cancelled," Kate twitter-twattered tonight, referring to Kate Plus 8 and Twist of Kate (Kate? You can't cancel something that never even saw the light of day). She also says she brought some of the trip/bucket list ideas to the production meeting, including one she is pushing for in particular. Wonder which one that is, Crazy Horse?

Will the children, who are getting older by the minute, have any time for normal private summer activities other kids their age do? Or will they be required to go on filming trips all summer long like last year?

"Good/right always prevails," Kate also twittered. Yes, we couldn't agree more with that particular "sediment."

Hmm, is Kate telling the truth? Or in the privacy of her McMansion is she pulling a Jessie Spano freakout:

Saturday, April 23, 2011

What's next for Kate Plus 8?

Kate is still on Twitter going on and on blissfully about all the exotic places she wants to see, says they just filmed an Easter episode and hopes to film the crap out of the kids this summer too, but with ratings on a steady decline, how much will her fantasies really be a reality?

Will the ratings for the "giving back" episode be the most important ratings this show has ever had?

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Ratings for New Zealand fall under 1 million--a first for Kate Plus 8

Ratings took a real jump off a building on Monday, only hitting 0.874 million. Now Kate has something actually worth collapsing into a heap and sobbing about.

Kate Plus 8 (TLC)
0.874 million
0.6 HH
0.4 A18-49

Meanwhile, Kate, who is reportedly worth $4 million, is all a-Twitter that her children cannot do gymnastics because it costs a lot. Maybe if she cut back on her mani/pedis, tanning and hair extensions, there could be more of the children's money left over for things they want to do. Unbelievable her stinginess when it comes to anything that has nothing to do with her.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Recap: New Zealand: A library card will get you there too

Coming up on Kate Plus 8! Kate is mad at some paparazzi standing behind a fence taking photos of the kids. You see they were invading the kids’ privacy. She really is a complete lunatic, isn’t she? More on this later.

Kate doesn’t even bother anymore to explain that Steve is her bodyguard, as if he’s become that immersed in the family now. I’m surprised the kids don’t call him Uncle Steve or Steve-a-rino or S-Dog or something. She says that Steve has taught them a lot about New Zealand, his homeland, and they had to go. Also, a good opportunity to meet the parents, eh, mate? Are we gonna see that? Because that might actually be remotely interesting. Especially the part where Kate (allegedly!) tries to give his parents a photo of Steve with the kids and his parents were basically like, “um, creepy!”

Kiwi House. A kiwi is a bird with no arms, according to Kate. Oh, that would be all birds then? Not counting Big Bird.

The Kiwi House is another zoo? No, please, make it stop. I was hoping it was at least maybe a bed and breakfast or something, just to mix it up. I'm beginning to wonder if production thinks zoos are the only activity that appeal to kids. How patronizing. There are a few paps there. I think paps are violating their privacy to show up here, and I also think production is violating their privacy to film these kids as incessantly as they do. One and the same to me. Kate is mad because their zoo tour guy is just trying to get on with the tour and is ignoring the paps. She thinks he doesn’t understand that there are paps there, right there, trying to take pictures of me, me, little ole me! Actually, Kate? I think this zoo guy is just trying to keep things quiet and normal for the kids and not throw a big hissy fit about it, make a scene, and embarrass the kids and himself.

The kids for their part are pretty much ignoring the paps, which they must have learned to do by now. Only Kate is freaking out. She puts on a big dog and pony show about trying to get away from the paps. And the biggest irony yet? At one point some of the paps pushed and cursed, and why? Because a production assistant was trying to block their way! One person violating the children’s privacy is, with a straight face, trying to block another person doing the same thing? Isn’t this sort of like friendly fire? Kate really doesn’t see the irony, does she? She's split so many hairs in this conversation no amount of conditioner can help her.

Kate says some people don’t value their privacy. I agree, Kate doesn’t value this family’s privacy one stinking bit. She can't even break away for 10 minutes from tweeting all about their private lives. By the way, take a look at Kate’s official Twitter account profile pic. Yup, it’s a pap photo. She even said so. Homework assignment for Kate: In 500 tweets or less, please explain why this is not the most ridiculous double standard you’ve ever heard in your entire life. Begin.

Next up, some boring caves. Something about some glow worms. Well, at least Ashley's noggin hasn‘t completely solidified to jello like her employer's--she explains to everyone what stalactites/stalagmites are. Kate takes this as a sign home schooling is a great thing, i.e., further justifying the suspension of her two little ones. I love how suddenly Steve is allowed to be shown on film when he’s been just sort of lurking around the edges of the shots all the other episodes of this show. Only when they show him? He’s back waiting at the van! Ha, he really is like a real daddy. A daddy in the doghouse.

They take a slow boat ride through the cave and the glowworms really do look like stars in the sky, this is actually really fantastic.

Next up, a “controlled descent” off a building, called SkyWalk. This is not bungee jumping at all and I have to say, I don’t see anything dangerous about this. It was far more dangerous, no, downright reckless, to dump the six-year-olds in the elephant pen to give wild animals manicures. The same exact month they went to New Zealand a Tennessee zoologist was killed by an elephant. Yeah.

Most of this segment is all about how Kate and her stupid brain went back and forth about whether to do this, and very little about how fun this was for Cara, Mady and the rest of the kids. Me, me, some crying, me again, more crying, etc. It is hard to spot a scene over the past three episodes in which Cara is not standing off to the side, scowling and crossing her arms. I don’t blame her. Nothing is about her, it never was, and unfortunately, it never will be unless she someday decides to cut out the toxic people, or you know, person, from her life.

Cara suits up in this orange jumpsuit. “I look like I’m going to jail,” she jokes. Aw, funny. I hate to tell her this but she already is in jail, and Kate is the warden who will never retire. We could lend her a Rita Hayworth poster and a rock hammer, but everything else we've tried has fallen on deaf ears. It took that guy 20 years to scrape his way out but he did get out, there is hope I guess. Kate is crying in the bathroom, making sure even if Cara tries to steal just a tiny bit of our hearts with a cute joke, that it’s still all about Kate.

Kate, Ashley, Steve and the twins gather up on this platform. Kate is being extremely foul to Brad, the guy helping them jump. She even claps at him. I thought that was only reserved for Jon, maybe she secretly likes Brad? Kate even admits she was “mean” and “rude” to him. Although I don’t hear an apology in any of that. She later admits that she needs to apologize to Brad for her atrocious behavior. She has his contact information, but of course, has not gotten around to it yet. She really says this. Like, she couldn’t apologize to him after she jumped? Or at least while still in the same country as him? She’s just going to be rude, film it all, air it for our entertainment, and get around to apologizing to this poor guy if his business card didn’t get lost in the folds of her suitcase somewhere? Crikey.

Look, I would be scared shitless to do this too, but that’s no excuse to be rude. Also, think about it, why would you be rude to the person who’s holding your life in their hands? Just a little common sense, Kate.

Brad is basically like I could explain the mechanics of this to you all day but it doesn’t change the fact that you have to move now. Kate then goes crying to Steve, who looks very annoyed with her and as usual is not indulging her or any of her crap for one second. “You’re wasting time!“ he tells her firmly. Their relationship has always been bizarre. Anyone else who doesn’t put up with Kate is sent to the black hole, why not Steve? Cara seems embarrassed at this scene as any 10-year-old would, and Ashley is outright staring 180 degrees off to the side pretending she doesn’t even know this family anymore. Ha, that doesn’t work so well on such a narrow platform. For as glamorous as her job may seem to some naive people, a nanny has moments like this sometimes when you work for narcissistic celebrity divas, and … wish you didn‘t.

Kate tells Brad, “If I’m a paying customer I should be able to do five feet or not! Who do I talk to?!” Well, that is a big if, because Kate must have forgotten she’s not a paying customer at all, the kids are. Idiot. Oh, my God, I love Brad. He snaps back, “Unfortunately if you’re a paying customer, then you would have gone back inside a long time ago, we wouldn’t of had this much time.”

Essentially Brad is confirming that she did not pay, someone else did (TLC, obviously), and he has indulged her with this ridiculous celebrity special treatment long enough, so, forget you, lady, there are other more deserving people in line here. Thank you, Brad. Someone with some sense emerges in this whole fiasco.

Finally everyone but Kate and Steve jump. More crying from Kate. “I don’t want to let my kids down!” she sobs. Gimme a break, you just didn’t want any of this to be about anyone else, much less Mady and Cara. Of course she jumps, did anyone actually expect her not to? When she lands she literally balls up on the ground racking with sobs. It goes on forever. The kids are like, wwwhat? She is scaring them. Good grief what a performance. It was too fast, Aaden suggests helpfully. Like he actually thinks Kate is being sincere, how cute. I truly admire these kids and how supportive they are of this complete lunatic they have to live with. They are good kids. I guess Kate finally peels herself away from the landing strip and Steve jumps, but we don’t see it.

Next up, they ride horses. This is a bit odd--Kate says they’ve all ridden before except the three little girls. Did she forget the episode where she took Hannah to ride a horse? It’s sad I remember more things about these children than she does. The paparazzi are here, too. It was so bad the horses were getting a bit spooked. So, a horse is scared by paparazzi hundreds of feet away, but not by all the production crew with their boom mics and lights and cameras right up in their noses? Not buying that.

Finally, they visit a Maori village in New Zealand. Kate claims this is educational, but I’m not learning much, all I see are kids running in and out of the replica houses.

“Like, who has a chance to learn about the Maori people in New Zealand?” Kate waxes poetically. I don’t know, Kate, anyone who can get a library card?

“This was pure education,” she goes on smugly. “I mean this was like our own Gosselin field trip across the world.” Well, field trips usually do involve missing school as long as you have a signed permission slip.

As long as we’re talking about education, I think it’s time we take a peek inside the educated-ish brain of Kate Gosselin. The one she has been revealing to us over the past few weeks on Twitter. Seat belts please. And helmets. And possibly a Hazmat suit.

Here is Kate’s brain on narcissism.

And here we are learning about all the birds of the world.

Next up, Geography!
History time, where we learn about important Mythological figures, like Crazy Horse!

Make sure you leave time for play. I'm gonna find me a man on this Twitter thing!

Although in fairness, with 1,000 tweets already, only about 9% of them are truly idiotic and maybe just 7% really dangerous. That's not bad.

Some geysers. Kate is amazed. I’m surprised she has the capacity to admit the kids couldn’t care less about the geysers. Kids often don’t care about the things you do, and most of the time it feels like Kate doesn‘t have the slightest understanding of that. Some hot mud. It was hot, says Hannah. A ceremonial Maori dance. Yawn, I’m still waiting for Kate to explain how I can donate to the koalas. Website, address, e-mail? Telegram? Joel gets picked to dance. He doesn’t want to do it, but he is a good sport. About a lot of things, these kids are good sports.

Kate goes on about how you need to enjoy every minute of trips. What she really needs is to enjoy every minute of her kids and get off her damn Twitter account. This is over? Where does she get to meet Steve’s parents??? Strap this lady to a lie detector, kiwis, go for it!

Discussion Thread: Kate Plus 8 New Zealand

Eh, Kate Plus 8 is on tonight, they're going to Purse Boy's homeland, but Kate's Twitter account is turning out to be far more entertaining.

Discuss either here.
Kate Plus 8 New Zealand TV-PG Kate and the kids have one more country to tackle before heading home - New Zealand! The family wastes no time learning about the native animals and tribes, but when Mady and Cara decide to do a Sky Jump, will Kate join them while conquering her own fear?

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Kate: My children are extensions of myself

Kate has continued her Twitter rampage the past several days, begging for more and more lavish trips (prerequisite: Must be filmed, must be paid!), continuing to disclose where the children are and what they are doing in real time, and so on. But it was this Tweet this morning that was one of the most alarming we've seen since this hellish descent into the mind of a narcissist began:

@XXXX They've forced me 2 go on when I thought I'd crumble..they are my reason I take every breath.they're extensions/part of me! I[heart] them! about 3 hours ago

According to The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman, et al., Treating the child as an extension of the parent, a toy and the conduit of the parent's frustrated dreams and unfulfilled wishes is a violation of the child's forming boundaries. It is a perversion of the all-important processes of individuation and separation. It is a travesty and the child pays its price all its remaining life. Personality disorders are often reactions to such all-pervasive and pernicious abuse.

And in Children of the Self-Absorbed : A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents by Dr. Nina W. Brown, a child of a narcissist is described as an extension, a plaything, a toy, a nuisance, a threat, but never, simply, another human being with needs (especially emotional ones) and boundaries to be respected.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Ratings hit all time low: Australia zoo

No matter how you spin it, the ratings just keep falling. Kate Plus 8 Australia Zoo (TLC, 10pm) - 1.214 million viewers - 0.5/1 A18-49

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Recap: Australia Zoo: Travel is 'knowlege'. Sort of.

Coming up on Kate Plus 8. Ha, the kids are starting to get a little more snarky toward Kate. It will only get worse the older they get.

Aw, Mady loved the Australia Zoo. At least the kids seemed to like this trip despite being pulled out of school and taken away from their Daddy on his visitation time. I think my heart would really be breaking for them, way more than it is already, if they were miserable.

I finally got an HD box for my led, and yea, now I can see every sun-tanned pore on Kate‘s sun-bleached face. In case you’ve been living under an organic rock, Kate got a Twitter account this week. Oh, and it’s really her. Even if it weren’t Twitter verified you would only have to read it to see that. This woman has Diarrhea of the Twitter--no, wait, Amoebic Dysentery of the Twitter, and of the over 650 tweets she has tapped out in just seven days, many of which could have put herself and the children in very grave danger (yes you read that right, it is up to 650 already), one of them was a confirmation she does indeed use tanning beds, and not the much safer spray tanning, because, allegedly, she is allergic. I feel sorry that Dorian Gray was not happy with her skin before, because I‘m not gonna lie, it was beautiful--generally clear, peaches and cream, soft complexion. The irony of having all this money is she is on track to end up looking worse for it in the end. Karma, justice, whatever you want to call that.

I suck at Math but bear with me while I do a little bit of pluses and minuses for a second. Okay, 650 tweets is about 92 a day, or assuming a 16 hour day, one tweet an average of every 10.4 minutes! All the birds in PA couldn’t compete.

Kate goes on about how they’ve been talking for years about meeting the Irwins and going to their zoo. Translation: She’s been holding out for this freebie longer than she would have liked.

They meet up with Terri and little Robert Irwin, who by the way is adorable and the spitting image of Steve. It was nice of Terri to learn all the kids’ names before they met. I haven’t really seen much of her since the good ole days of Animal Planet, she has aged quite a bit. But at least she looks natural. You have to hand it to her, she never really went Hollywood with her looks. Very little makeup, keep the hair simple, khaki shirts. I love how when Kate and Terri shake hands, Terri says, “Hello, I’m Terri.” Like she needs an introduction. Of course Kate just says, “Hi.” Ha! I appreciate Terri’s humility, all celebs should have some of it.

Where is Bindi you might ask, Australia‘s favorite exploited child? At school? No. Out with a friend? Negative. Why, she’s working of course! She’s getting ready for her Jungle Girls show.

Robert catches a little water dragon for the kids to see. It is uncanny the way Robert sneaks up on it, he is just like Steve right down to the way he crouches down and plants his feet.

They arrive at the croc show and there’s Bindi out there performing, channeling Miley Cirus. She is unnaturally enthusiastic, like she has spent her entire life being told to go big or go home. It’s a bit creepy that this is what she does every day for a living, this little teeny bop dance number. She is a child. A teen now, who should be with other teens doing teen things. Kate says some really nice things about Robert and Bindi, like how loving and well behaved they are. True, they do seem like nice kids. A bit too minion-like for my taste, but nice kids.

Terri justifies exploiting her kids by saying that it is good to give the kids public speaking skills and the gift of not being afraid of the camera. No, she really calls it a gift. Haha! Is she for real here? Terri? Kids can get public speaking skills in a variety of other ways that don’t involve selling their childhoods. Like debate club, the school play, French class, or becoming captain of a sports team. Things they would experience if they actually went to school, unlike Bindi. And wait just a darn second here, why does a kid even need public speaking skills at such a young age? Are they going to be giving some great oration on the battlefield anytime soon? They’re kids, not Kennedys! Why can’t they work on that later, like in high school and college? By the way, Katie Holmes was such a God awful terrible Jackie Kennedy I could only make it through episode two in that miniseries this week before I broke down in tears. But at least she’s working to support her kid and not the other way around like these two clowns before us.

And as far as the importance of kids not being afraid of the camera, well, that is only really an issue for the .001% percent of children who will actually grow up and spend even a small fraction of their lives on camera. So what if your kid doesn’t like cameras, let it go! If your child is afraid of spiders, do you just let it go, or do you keep throwing them into the spider lair until they get over it? I think you would let it go, come on now.

Kate’s eyes get all wide and she nods all exaggerated, all excited like, yes, Terri, public speaking! That sounds way better than I just want to give them free trips. File that one away for future reference! Terri, you are so smart.

Kate thinks she has a lot in common with Terri Irwin. I think so, too, but not in the way Kate is thinking. I really resent the fact that Kate says they are both single moms. The Irwins don’t have a dad, their dad is dead. But Jon is around and actively involved in his kids’ lives and was supposed to be having his holiday visit right at that very moment, except Kate made sure that didn‘t happen. It is not the same by any means and it‘s insulting to Jon to portray it as such.

Terri goes down into the croc pit with Robert and Bindi. All I can say is I completely and utterly disagree with Bindi being allowed to get right in there and feed the crocs at her young age. It is a scientific fact that a teenage brain is not able to fully assess the risks of a situation, or react appropriately to that risk. Hence lots of car accidents. I’m sure Bindi has all the good intentions in the world, but her brain is not yet developed enough to keep her completely safe, which is not her fault, but that is what parents are supposed to be for, to guide her until her brain catches up. Sigh.

Coming up, more zoo. Yawn. It’s raining now, serious pouring rain. The zoo is basically abandoned, but production is on a tight schedule so they throw a bunch of Australia Zoo slickers and boots on the kids and press on. Huh, oddly enough, Kate isn’t throwing a fit, complaining that she has nineteen layers on and is still soaked, and so on. In fact, she looks very happy. How can this be, you ask? Simple. Because it’s just demure, quiet little Terri who is perfectly content to let Kate be the star. She is used to playing second fiddle to Steve, riding shotgun is her personality. I think Terri knows exactly how to handle this woman so that they have a nice, peaceful day of production, I give her credit.

They try to feed kangaroos but they keep hopping off. Maybe the roos are just trying to find shelter and thinking how stupid the humans are for not doing the same. This has nothing to do with Kate but I really hate zoos, I have for years. I haven’t been to a zoo since I was a child, they make me cry. I hate how scared the kangaroos look to be swarmed by these kids, or any kids.

Oh my God, Aaden has a leech on his leg. Pass the salt! At home in the background is Kate’s child exploitation book I Just Want You to Know, as she explains this crisis. The cool zookeeper helps get it off the poor little guy, and then turns it into a learning experience by showing it to the rest of the kids. I like adults like that, adults who know how to make the best out of dicey moments. I guess Aaden is really at the bottom of the food chain, with both that leech and Kate sucking him dry.

They meet Bindi, and Hanna is really into her, she says she has a Bindi doll that looks just like her. There are Bindi dolls?? Ugh. I love this quote from the White House when someone tried to make Obama girl dolls: "We believe it is inappropriate to use young, private citizens for marketing purposes." Absolutely. I almost want to change parties just because of that. Ha, yeah right. But they are right about that, of course.

They watch someone feed a tiger. Kate goes off alone with Terri to pet a tiger up close. He is cute, but sorry, I find this very dangerous. The fact that the kids can’t come along for this is proof it’s dangerous. Bindi is good with the kids, holding their hands and asking lots of good questions like what their favorite animal is. She does seem like a nice girl and I feel bad for her the way she‘s essentially been groomed since babyhood for one kind of life and one only. Everyone calls it overbearing and constrictive and domineering when a father who is a doctor will only allow his child to prepare for medical school, but with Bindi and Robert it’s all fun and games and chuckles to prepare to run the zoo. It’s the same darn thing.

Kate saves some tiger fur from her hand in a plastic bag. That’s an interesting memento. She couldn’t just take a picture? Maybe the flash would have made him eat her?

We’re back, and it’s still pouring. They meet a variety of other animals including dingos. Aaden says the dingos eat chicken. I’m guessing they didn’t tell him about the baby. Kate gets to hold a koala. A teacher of mine went to Australia and she said this is similar to holding a sixteen-month old and is really cool. Actually I don’t blame Kate for crying, this is special. I still feel like he should not be in a zoo, but oh well. The twins get to hold them, too, and adore it. Mady is on the couch explaining this all by herself, Cara is nowhere to be found again. Kate says at that moment she knew she needed to do something to save the koalas. Kate, you need to do something to save your kids, for starters.

They all pose for a picture and Terri wants to just hurry it along. Most people naturally want to hurry along pictures, but Kate takes this as they are kindred spirits, as she likes to hurry along photos, too!

I don’t like people who force friendships. Who search high and low for the slightest little thing in common, like look, we both have two thumbs! A mouth! Teeth! Just to try to get in there good with a person and force the friendship. If you are indeed alike, the friendship will happen naturally, just relax. Kate wouldn’t give a hoot about Terri anyway if Terri weren’t very famous. Actually I take that back, if Terri weren’t famous but had a twitter account and flattered Kate, Kate might give a hoot.

We’re back and I think the editors messed up because the first few seconds were cut off. Ha. I can almost picture the editing intern doing sort of a “f--- it” to that and moving on. Some guy named Lance claiming to be Steve’s best friend shows them an iguana and has to really coax Kate to touch it. She does, complaining that he is cold. That’s because he is cold-blooded, Kate. He’s probably thinking you are hot.

The rain is even worse than before. It’s coming down in literal sheets. This is one long trip to the zoo and maybe it‘s time to call it a day, especially with the horrible weather. But you know, you can‘t be sure you have enough footage yet, so they press on. They help prepare food for the animals and you can tell Cara is really over this now. Kate as usual is trying to micromanage, this time Mady and Cara’s meatloaf. “You do everything for me,” Cara snaps vilely. She is really mad here. Kate of course blames this on her independence and not on Kate being overbearing and annoying. “Mommy, can’t you help the little kids?” Cara pleads. Mercifully Kate backs off a bit.

A porcupine, some elephants, I think this is enough already, really. I mean you want to leave something to the imagination if people are thinking about visiting this place at some point. Even the little kids are allowed to brush the elephants all up close and groom their toe nails. Maybe I’m a worry-wart and watch too much news, but aren’t elephants super dangerous, too? Just last January a zookeeper was killed by an elephant in Knoxville after he pushed her. I hate to say it but something is bound to happen at this zoo eventually if they allow kids to interact this closely with the animals all the time. The zoo is already facing serious financial trouble, an injury or heaven forbid even a death would really do it in. There is a reason for the word wild in wild animals.

Commercial and we’re back. Kate wants to feed a crocodile. I get the idea that she wants to do anything that will be something good to brag about later--I fed a crocodile, I held a koala, and so on. She is chomping on gum and telling Lance she’s serious. At least the crocodile won’t be offended by bad breath.

What’s the difference between a crocodile and an alligator, someone from production asks Leah. I don’t know, she says as she walks away. Well, glad they children are learning something on this trip. "Travel is knowlege," as Kate tweeted the other day.

It’s all very dramatic but in the end Kate feeds the croc, runs out of there, and lives to tweet again. “Isn’t she scared to do everything?” Mady says saucily on the couch. Ha.

Oh, no! Poor Aaden is crying. He is very upset. This really scared him. The camera gets all up in his face to capture every moment of this. Kate thinks this is cool that he was so glad she was all right. What? He’s crying! This is cool? I can see maybe she was moved, or touched, but it’s cool? Weirdo. Let’s see, what can the family feed next? I know, a tortoise!

They head to the on-site animal hospital. Oh, there is a poor little mommy koala who got hit by a car. This is the kind of work with animals that I think is really great, much better than caging animals just for our enjoyment. Kate gets to hold a baby koala. You know for a trip to something so kids’-oriented, Kate is sure the one getting to do the vast majority of stuff here. Cara really liked this part, she even does a little interview on the couch about this. Robert in his adorable Australian accent explains all about the turtles there. He is a very bright little guy.

They watch a koala baby crawl back into his mother’s pouch, which I have never seen before in my life. Okay, this is actually very amazing to watch, it looks like reverse childbirth almost. Kate controls her screeching and screaming, thank God. “Terri, how can you not scream?” she asks. I don’t think Terri is a screamer in the first place. Not everyone is, Kate. But Terri says wryly, “I’ve been trained not to scream.” The nice doctors allow the family to name the baby. Of course Kate gets to decide on the name, Honey. The name is fine, but couldn’t the kids pick? The adorable koala bear clutches a warm water bottle, it really is sweet.

Bindi gives the kids khaki shirts with their names on them and they take a cute picture. I can’t believe they did an entire episode on one zoo. Kate is already scheming and calculating her next trip, trying to arrange something with Terri for Steve Irwin Day next November. Terri actually falls for Kate promising how dedicated she is going to be now to koala conservation and help with this for all time to come. Like most anything else, a narcissist will lose interest in such a thing after a few months, even weeks, just wait.

Kate says, cryptically, she wrote an email while she was there, “Thank you so much for allowing this trip, it was awesome!” Huh? An e-mail to whom? Jon? The judge? Her lawyer? How bizarre was that statement! And it was yet another backhanded slam at Jon, how could you not want me and the kids to experience such an awesome, fun trip?! Again, Kate, because he doesn’t want the kids exploited. This is not hard.

Lest Kate thinks she is the only mother in the world to ever be criticized for exploiting her kids, or the only mother to ever be “targeted” by a politician, let me introduce her to Bill Heffernan. Heffernan, the Australian version of PA’s Rep. Murt., who is a senator from the state of New South Whales, said this about Bindi: “Every child deserves their childhood, and your childhood is one of those touchstones of your life, but there's a real danger that that kid is going to be exploited. There's a very strong suggestion that there's this artificial environment being built around her for a commercial purpose and she's not in a position to make that decision by herself.”

And Queensland University of Technology professor Annah Healy had this to say: “All children need to be able to explore other avenues. That includes things like boredom and not getting what you want and other experiences in which she's not going to be a star.”

But what awful person would ever want a child to be bored or not get what they want? You know, I guess if one can’t understand why a child needs to sometimes experience boredom and not getting what they want just as much as it’s nice to experience an awesome trip, they’ll never get it. And, Kate would be in that group. The not getting it group.

Next week, they’re headed to Steve‘s homeland, New Zealand! And guess what? The preview shows the paparazzi swarming the kids creepily and cursing around them, so bad that it is bleeped out, and the kids look scared. Nice. And Jon is the mean irrational one for wanting to stop this trip? Get it, Kate? That is why Jon is sick of this. Not because he doesn’t want you to have wonderful trips. Go back to tweeting away with everyone who continues to support this pilfering.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Australia Zoo Visit Discussion Thread--4/11/11

To see Kate's Tweets in realtime, check out the little gadget above this post called "Kate's Latest Tweets."

It's an exploitation sandwich tonight, Terri Irwin on one side, Kate on the other, and the Irwin and Gosselin kids squished in the middle. Back stateside, Kate promises to Tweet throughout the episode. How is that any different than what she's been doing every 15 minutes this past week? Discuss.

Apr 11, 10:00 pm

Two reality TV families meet when the Gosselins visit Australia Zoo --the legacy of the late Steve Irwin and home to his family Terri, Bindi, and Robert Irwin. As the kids interact with exotic Aussie animals, Kate tries her hand at feeding a crocodile.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Twitter-dee, Twitter-dumb

Ok, it's time for its own thread. Kate got herself a Twitter account this week.!/Kateplusmy8

We certainly expected a few slips and gaffes from time to time. But nothing like this--as in, hourly snafus. From revealing every last location of the children as it happens, to engaging obsessed fans and stalkers including someone claiming to want to date her, to bashing Jon, to posting a tweet on average, every 15 minutes during waking hours, Twitter is, as another poster so eloquently put it, a narcissist's wet dream.

Discuss away.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Australia Adventure recap: Kate is a boomerang that just keeps coming back

Coming up on Kate Plus 8, or as Kate has renamed them, “the nine.” We get it, Jon is no longer part of this family and it’s all awkward to have him around just like the way it was awkward to have the sperm donor Mark Ruffalo around in The Kids Are All Right. For someone who has moved on from Jon, Kate sure will talk a lot about Jon in this eppy. The family is going to Australia and will camp again, and Sarah Palin is not there to steal the show being a better mother and overall kinder and sweeter person and all that nonsense, so naturally, it will work out just fine this time.

A lot of boring discussion about getting ready for Kate‘s dream trip to Australia because she wanted to see koalas. I think it’s cute how little kids don’t quite understand just yet the concept of time. How long did it take you to get there? someone from production asks the kids on the couch. “Like, one hour,” Leah says cutely. Aw. Kate reminds us that they were supposed to go to “Korea” a few years ago. Kate needs to double check the little globe she has the kids look at, as there is no such thing as “Korea.” I hope she’s not the one home schooling the kids, crikey. Kate neglects to add that mean awful Jon messed that whole trip up by stopping the show, but that’s certainly what she’s hoping we’ll remember.

“I don’t know any parent who would have the opportunity to send their kids on a trip that would say 'No, I don’t want them to go.' That‘s insane!” Kate says defensively with a dramatic sigh and roll of her eyes. “My kids were thrilled to go!”

Hi, Kate! Talking to us? I love how Kate completely, and I’m sure purposefully, misses the entire point. It’s not the trip itself anyone is against. I think Australia would be a great place to go and actually, probably way more geared toward younger kids than say, history-laden Europe. It’s exploiting the kids to get this trip and filming the whole darn thing, not to mention pulling them from both Dadd
y on his visitation holiday year, and out of school--that’s the big problem here. No trip is worth sacrificing a child’s every last crumb of privacy. You know what this is like? This is like you have
a crate of apples but you are told that they have worms in them, and Kate stands there rolling her eyes and passing them out to the kids saying, I don’t know any parent who wouldn’t want their kids to have a nice shiny healthy apple, they love them! No, Kate, it’s not the apples we are against--we just don’t want kids to get worms. She will never get it.

Also, Jon didn’t want them to go. This is a backhanded insult at Jon. How could any parent, much less their own father, not want his kids to be happy?! Because he doesn’t want his kids exploited, Kate. And also because it was his year to have them on this holiday and it’s just plain unfair to usurp that. Usurper! If Jon tried to take the kids on your holiday, you and your fans would raise Cain and you darn well know it.

Kate goes on to imply that the children wanted to go “100%” even though they would miss their daddy, the trip was worth it. She is very obsessed with Jon, and more defensive than a linebacker. Indeed, Linebacker U is just a little ways up the road, maybe she could be a walk on next season.

More boring packing, I’ve seen this same exact episode so many times I feel like King Sisyphus. Only instead of rolling a boulder up a hill I have to watch people pack suitcases the rest of my life. Oh, this absolutely takes the cake, Kate says that Ashley and their current babysitter went on the trip, but that the current babysitter would not be on camera “to protect them from the world.” What exactly is she doing to her kids then? How come a grown adult gets to be protected from the public eye, but not these precious kids? I also love how she fails to mention Steve-o went too. What, ashamed? It’s a little odd I don’t recall seeing the other babysitter in any of the paparazzi shots. Were the paparazzi instructed not to photograph her, too?

And they flew to Australia. The whole thing is about as boring as you might imagine a long flight like this would be. Poor Leah got a bloody nose, probably from all the dry air? Kate claims the kids slept through most of the flight and it was all no big deal. Once in Sydney they try to get into their van on the right side only to realize that is actually the driver’s side. Ha. Kate says “we’re backwards drivers” and I get this funny image in my head of Kate thinking everyone in Australia literally drives in reverse everywhere.

Of course she meant they drive on the left side of the road. I hope. Once on the bus, Kate “decided to let the kids call Jon” to let him know they arrived safely. I’m shaking my head at first, thinking how generous of Kate to let the children actually talk to their own father.

But then it is a tremendous relief to see that, surprisingly? Kate is able to have a civil, cordial conversation with Jon about how the flight went, the rough time change, and how they’re about to go get something to eat. So it’s not true they aren’t speaking as the tabloids tend to want to imply, I guess because that‘s far more dramatic. I cannot stress enough how important it is to be polite and kind to your ex while your kids are right there watching. Kate’s fans need to get on board that Kate clearly doesn’t hate this man, and if even she, the Queen of Stop Breathing, Jon! and so on, is at least able to be kind to him now, maybe they should just let it go? Look, is Kate obsessed with him, absolutely. Will she ever get over the way he tried to derail her dreams of riches and fame and get his precious children away from all that venom? Probably not. But she doesn’t seem to hate him anymore and she was actually quite civil to him here. She can talk to him. Hey, it’s a start. The kids are thrilled to call Daddy. Aww. Lots of “I love yous” and so on as they pass the phone around. Why any of this is a part of this episode and for what purpose I have no idea. This is their private conversation with Daddy, and it’s none of our business. Coming up, the beach and Mr. Speedo! Sweet.

We’re back on beautiful Bondi Beach. Joel is so bored he is slouched on the couch. Kate thinks it’s hysterical that they are going to the beach on New Year’s. Yes, it’s hot outside. That’s how it works in the Southern Hemisphere. Weird, maybe. Hysterical? I mean, I guess. I’m back to pushing my boulder again, watching the kids play on the beach.

What can really stink about being a celebrity, depending on how you look at it, is perfect strangers will approach you and start talking to you while you’re trying to do something with your family, as if you‘re an old friend they ran into. I experienced this working for a celeb and I found it incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. For instance we would be trying to go out to sushi to celebrate a birthday and perfect strangers think they have the license to just interrupt you while you‘re trying to eat. Even in the airport bathrooms while we were trying to just get the kids’ hands washed and then make our flight, they would come up to her and start yapping away. It’s very rude, and it’s hard on any kids there. Remember, Kate is these kids’ Mommy. She’s not a celebrity to them. And there are enough kids already who need Mommy’s attention not to add other people to the mix vying for it too.

Anyway, as expected random strangers are approaching Kate on the beach while she is trying to play with the kids. Sigh. Some mom with quads talks to her for awhile and, good grief, she said something about how Kate is her inspiration. Bernie Madoff should be your inspiration before this woman, come on now. The only thing worse than a man in a Speedo is a man in a Speedo who tries to talk to you. I know, I know, some people love those little things. But I don’t, and I’ll tell you why:
Because of that picture. I ... just ... can’t after that. I can’t. Mr. Speedo man so very rudely asks, “You don’t see Jon anymore?” Um, wtf! Even Kate seems rather annoyed with this question, heck, as she should be. I would have said none of your darn business, you f-ing creep, but Kate politely tells him, “They do, obviously.” I’ll give Kate credit, she has more patience with these freaks and creeps than I ever would. Maybe she was right all along about how "annoying" her fans are. They are.
Haha, this is great, Kate agrees with me! She says she and Ashley think Speedos should be outlawed! Amen. I hate to say it, but this is the second time this episode I kind of like how Kate handled herself. Number one, she was nice to Jon. And number two, she thinks Speedos have no business being on anyone at any time under any circumstances, much less the beach.
Cara gets to surf. Aw, good. Interestingly, Cara does not do one interview on the couch for this entire episode. Wonder if she doesn’t want to anymore. At least if that is the case, she is not being made to do them. Not that you can make a 10-year-old do anything. Next up, boomerang school. I like the metaphor here, boomerangs are just like Kate, we just keep trying to throw her away and she just keeps coming back. By this time Joel is completely reclined on the couch on his back, just stretched out across the entire couch. Poor guy, it‘s tiring having a full time job at six in addition to school! Coming up, New Year’s Eve meltdowns. Ugh.
New Year’s Eve party in the hotel. I don’t know, I find that kind of depressing to be celebrating in some strange hotel with no friends or family or anyone. The best New Year’s Eve I had ever was the year 2000. I was with my entire family at my grandparent’s house. And not two minutes after the ball dropped, my grandmother pulled out from nowhere a beautiful birthday cake for my cousin, who happened to be turning 16 that same day. She made a huge fuss over his birthday, she just didn’t want his big 16th birthday to be overshadowed by all the hoopla of the millennium. That’s just the kind of thoughtful amazing person she was and I will always, always remember that. We weren’t in a hotel or on some fancy trip, we were just at home with those we loved the most. And through her actions? She was teaching us kids about what it really means to be thoughtful and love your family. The whole evening probably cost $80 for the food. And that’s one of my best memories. Go figure.
Next up, they head over to the fireworks. Cara has a meltdown because she wants to sit next to Kate. Some of the other kids are crabby. Cara just gets worse and worse until Ashley has to take her to the bus. Kate clearly has no clue what to do. I think they’re just exhausted. Poor things. Naturally Mady gets wrapped up in this conflict like Kate always does to her. No clue what she did if anything, and even Mady is saying, quite desperately, “I didn’t do anything, I promise I didn’t do anything!” but she gets shipped off to the bus, too. Why is it that Mady is always being punished for absolutely no reason at all? Is it just bad editing? Alexis twists her knee and even had to go see the medic. She’s fine fortunately. The problem with Kate is she doesn’t know when to call it quits. With freaking anything. She will never quit her show. Her show will have to be ripped from her well-manicured paws. They stay for the entire show even though everyone was miserable.
Yawn, I’ve seen enough, but when I check my Tivo timestamp I realize I’m only halfway through! I can do it, I can do it. Kate goes shark diving, and it’s a two hour trip. Damage control time! Kate explains she couldn’t take the kids after the way they vomited on the boat trip in North Carolina. Or TLC just told her they could not explain away putting the kids through that again. Mercifully, the kids have a relaxing day at the beach with the nannies. Might I remind Kate even when her kids were puking their guts out, she refused to turn the boat around. But when she went camping in Alaska and she didn’t like it, everyone had to go straight back to the hotel. Whatever.
Kate is freaked out about this a bit; this is not my idea of fun either. Also I have a huge problem with baiting sharks to cages. They were out there eight hours and there were no sharks, which really disappointed Kate. Even the sharks knew to avoid this shrew. Kate does some deep sea fishing. She loves deep sea fishing, she says. When TLC pays, I’m sure she does! The following is such a textbook example of how a narcissist operates it bears a detailed recap. Kate arrives on shore with all the fish she caught, greeting the kids excitedly, like a kid herself. Look what I caught, look, kids! Collin is off the side, holding in his little hand what looks to be maybe a little bitty crab or something. “Mommy, look what we caught for you!” he replies animatedly. Kate flat out ignores him, going on and on about how she caught eight fish, one for each kid. By her own admission she has been gone more than eight hours. Not one single question about what they did today, how they are, what’s that you caught too, Collin? Just me, my fish, the sharks, and me some more. It is all about her, and very little is about the kids or their day. Very classic narcissism. Very sad, too.
Next up, they hang out with some aboriginals. Is this like those people who dress up as pilgrims at the Mayflower? Or is this the real thing? The briefly recap the utter disaster of the Sarah Palin camping trip. This time they’re going to go camping with the aboriginals. Now you might think, more whining and complaining and bitching from the moment she got off the plane, as Chuck would say, but nope, you are forgetting there is no competition here! Sarah Palin is all bundled up warm with the family up in Alaska in the dark, busy being a good Mommy, and is of no concern to Kate anymore. (Note: I still cannot get over that Kate walked out on someone who is quite possibly our next president.) You see, as long as it is all about Kate, she will do anything. She would smile while hacking off her own arm better than Aron Ralston ever did as long as it were all about her. I find it a little offensive TLC is putting all these subtitles up for the aboriginal talking to the kids. Sheesh, I understand him perfectly.
Well, at least the kids learned about the traditional musical instruments didjeridus. It’s dark now, but production is shining huge bright lights in the kids’ faces. No matter every other kid is home by now, relaxing and maybe doing some homework. These kids still have to work, even at night. As the aboriginal explains some more, both Collin and Joel turn away from the bright production lights and cover their eyes. Ouch, bright lights hurt. Reminds me of when Cara was rudely awoken by all the studio lights once, and production laughed at her. It’s not funny, you sick people. Here is a screen cap of the boys. Unfortunately my DVR is not set up on my LED at the moment, but you can tell even from this low quality screenshot anyway what‘s going on:

Camping goes well. “I think it was really good for the kids to see my positive attitude. When the conditions are right camping is great,” Kate says. And by conditions, she means, no future presidential candidates who are good mommies around. Sadly though, what her kids are learning, is to be spoiled. Have fun when things are just right, and don’t make the best of things when things aren’t perfect. It has to be said.
The kids loved it, says Kate. Well, they loved it in Alaska, too. “I think I’ll just leave them here,” she jokes. Why is she always joking about abandoning her children? It’s weird. Like people who joke about killing others. Stop that. Kate prattles on about how camping in Alaska was oh so very different, but this time it was great. I think I learned maybe two remotely useful things about Australia in this entire episode. Thanks The Learning Channel! I've learned a lot from you over the years:

And as we come to a close … wait, where are Australia’s own favorite exploited kids, Bindi and Robert Irwin? Oh, no, this means there will be another episode squeezed out of this whole boring trip? I’m reminded of Betty White, who said so accurately about Facebook, “Who wants to look at vacation photos? In my time, that was called torture.” Betty, I still call this torture!
Kate claims the kids thanked her a million times. Funny we didn’t see even one time of that. And wait a minute, shouldn’t Kate be thanking the kids? Thank you for giving up your time with Daddy, thank you for missing school, and thank you for paying for all this grandeur. After all, she didn’t make this lifestyle possible, her eight innocent children did.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Kate sued for $10,000 in unpaid marriage counseling bills

According to a civil complaint recently filed in PA, Kate Gosselin requested that Dr. Sylvia Lafair, president of Creative Energy Options, fly to Los Angeles to perform marriage counseling. The paper states Kate refused to pay for services or travel fees totaling $10,476. The counseling took place between March 4th and March 23rd of 2009. The couple reportedly did split in March 2009, and officially filed for divorce the following June. Don't they know that the rules don't apply to Kate? That includes bills! Thanks to the Grapevine once against for sluething this out.

Ratings for Australia Adventure

Kate Plus 8 (TLC, 10pm) 1.306 million viewers
-0.9/1 HH
-0.5/1 A18-49

via TravisYanan

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Kate Plus 8 Australia Adventure: Discussion Thread

Jon loses his court battle to keep the kids in the states over the holidays and the kids head Down Under to exchange notes with Bindi and Robert Erwin, Australia's version of the Plus 8. Crikey.

Monday April 4, 10 p.m. EST