10. No shirt, no shoes, no service: Kate's naked Red Cross photo. When the Red Cross sent out blankets to a variety of local celebs to get them to support home fire relief, most of them graciously donned them and submitted modest and appropriate photos for the Red Cross web site. Kate, however, decided to wear a low cut top and snuggle up on her couch barefoot wrapped tightly in the blanket, giving the photo the appearance of her being naked underneath. In the charity's biggest scandal since they told the Dixie Chicks to F off, the Red Cross had to waste time they should have spent helping people in need to ask Kate to choose a different photo. And after a few days of stubbornly holding out, Kate actually complied--although the come hither photo remains on her personal web site.
9. You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Kate's trashy birthday in NYC. If the Sarah Palin camping trip was 2010's fleecing, this surely was 2011's. Kate just about lost the last of her flock after the episode "Kate's Night Out" aired, a bizarre departure from the typical family fare. The episode featured BFF (though not for long) Jamie surprising Kate with a trip to NYC for her birthday. They drank for about two days straight, there was some foot licking involved and awkward techno dancing ("You got a problem???" one Jersey Shore-sounding NYC clubber asks Kate. Ha.), Kate spills to a complete stranger/planted extra/Steve lookalike about her divorce, Jamie and Kate share a bed so they could wake up hung over together, there may have been a tiger, a baby and a missing tooth involved at some point, and worst of all, the kids cried their eyes out when Kate left home for this. The only redeeming factor was when Jamie called Kate a princess and said it's always about Kate's world. Oh, there will be more calling out to come from this BFF, hold onto your organic hats.
8. Occupy Stupidity. In an embarrassingly desperate attempt to keep the ailing Kate Plus 8 off life support, by order of the Queen, Kate decrees to her fans that must henceforth go forward and make Save Kate + 8 signs, display them to all the townships in the kingdom and take photos documenting it. The prize for the best sign: an autographed I Just Want You to Know, appraised at about six cents. No, this really happened. In response, we made our own Don't Watch signs here, and the two winners, Dwindle and Fade2black, both donated their Target gift cards to charity. Kate's show was cancelled the very next day. Heh.
7. Travel is 'knowlege'. Sort of. The twit joins Twitter. Psychology graduate theses will one day be written based solely on this account. If ever there was solid proof what her non-fans been saying all along about the extent of this woman's narcissism, poor parenting, and mental illness, her tweets were it. Actually, turns out, we were understating it. Thanks, Twitter.6. Jon and Kate editor arrested for child porn. As were most people with their heads on halfway straight, Jon was shocked and dismayed that someone busted on multiple counts of child pornography was an editor for Jon and Kate Plus 8 and very likely had access to thousands of hours of footage of his kids. Jon, who said he had met Blankinship, was consulting an attorney as to how to proceed. As for Kate, she was just concerned about her own liability: Why, she didn't even know the guy! Well, he sure knew your kids.
5. Sorry officer, I was leading in the Indianpolis 500, but I think I took a wrong turn! Kate's four traffic tickets. If ever Kate was given the benefit of the doubt, it was on this one. It wasn't until Kate was caught going 88 mph in a 65 zone (one of four tickets in two years), incidentally, just hours after Joy Behar suggested she try lesbianism--and then Kate actually joked about speeding, we called foul. As for flipping to the other side, we don't think the lesbians want her.
4. Losing! Kate's therapist sues for unpaid earnings, and wins. Someone finally took this grifter to court, and actually won! You see Ms. Lafair expected to get paid for services rendered--silly Sylvia--but must have forgotten this is Kate we're talking about--she even grifts paper towels. Instead of just quietly settling the dispute, Kate publicly fought her tooth and French-tipped nail--and lost when the judge ordered her to pay up her $10,000 debt. Because no never means no, Kate appealed of course, and it was then that Lafair realized she would be fighting this woman until they were both cutting coupons for Depends, and for her own sanity, dropped the suit. Poor LaFair never knew what hit her.
3. Beep-beep, beep-beep, yeah! Kate buys an Audi sports car. Although she spent the bulk of the year still trying to convince us she is two food stamps away from living in a shack, telling us the savings for the kids are "not even close to what they'll need," and tweeting that she can't even afford gymnastics for them, Kate's spending habits when it comes to herself have been anything but frugal and protective of the children's hard-earned money. From lavish trips to NYC to Australia to the Kentucky Derby to Las Vegas, to the mother of all purchases, an Audi sports car--a car she hid from the public for months until a pap outed her, Kate's biggest lies this year have been about
he was content with "mediocre" for the kids, but that she wants more than that for them. But really she ended up giving the finger to all the hard-working moms and dads everywhere who work their butts off at the best jobs they can get to support their families as best they can. It was so insulting that even idiot Sherri Shepherd, one of Kate's last remaining celeb sheeple, was like, WTF, girlfriend! And finally jumped ship.
Kate's behavior was so atrocious this year we just couldn't narrow it down to a top 10. So before we reveal number one, here are a few incidents that were a strong runner's up:
- Kids? Yawn!!! Kate tweets that the kids' field trip was "dull."
- Freebies from the teenies. Kate accepts countless birthday and Christmas gifts from her young fans, including food, encourages them to send more, rarely manages to thank them, and never once suggests they donate to charity instead or perhaps save their money for college. Half the purpose of her twitter account seems to be to grift from those less fortunate than her, from Starbucks to cereal to iPads.
- Let the orphans eat cake. Kate leaves the kids yet again, this time to go run a marathon in Las Vegas. And gives the kids a cake! Not an "I miss you" cake or an "I love you cake," but a "Go Mommy Go" cake. Yummy, I love the flavor of narcissism. Hope they didn't choke.
- Pulitzer Krize: Hello, who is this?--You called me.--No you called us! Reading Eagle exposes the real order of how it all went down. Turns out, when Kate was pregnant with the sextuplets she called up the Reading Eagle first to ask them to cover the story. We always thought the spotlight wasn't dumped in Kate's lap as she likes to pretend, but rather she sought it out. Thanks to the Reading Eagle, our suspicions were confirmed.
- Who's your Daddy? We're all for all kinds of families, but this was ridiculous. Kate said when the cameras are off the crew are like dads to the kids, helping them, playing games with them, etc. Later on, she retweeted a tweet about how Jon "ruined" the family but she "healed it." When Jon and Kate editor Bill Blankinship was arrested last October, her daddies comment just got that much creepier, didn't it?
- Crikey??? Australia Zoo Auction. Australia's favorite child exploiter Terry Irwin got Kate to fly Down Under again and donate a lunch with fans to the financially troubled zoo. But the actual amount the item sold for has turned into the biggest coverup since the JFK assassination. And a perfect example of why that zoo will fail, and soon.
- Silent Night, Holy child exploiter. Kate interrupts a peaceful and reflective candlelight Christmas Eve service to take a picture of the kids with their candles and post it on her Twitter account.
And finally--drumroll please! Kate's worst moment of 2011 was ...
1. Who moved my boobyguards's pizza!!!: The RV trip from hell. It's bad enough to spend two weeks with Kate in a cramped RV that broke down every ten miles (Jon, did you cut the brakes?). Even worse when Kate chooses her "boyfriend" over her own kids. When Kate yelled at Jamie, Ashley, and the kids for eating Steve's pizza, touching it with bare hands, and gasp, having an HD TV in their RV, a knock down drag out ensued. Jamie called Kate childish and said "it's all about him, isn't it?", the nanny quit, and it was so bad Anderson Cooper even put it on his RidicuList. No one has ever been more deserving. "Middle-aged bodyguards can get pretty cranky if their routine is thrown off. You know lunch, juice box, binky, nap," Anderson said.
As for the best moment of 2011? Kate and Steve's romantic date at the Kentucky Derby, partners, inspiring this favorite photoshop of y'alls, our most popular post of the year.