Sunday, June 30, 2019

Discussion Thread: Kate Plus Date "I Want to Break Free" 7/1/2019 AND Recap: Kate Plus Date "I Want to Break Free": "See you Tonight! :) ..... ???? R u Ok? .... Hello?"

Last time on Kate Plus 8, RACHEL FINALLY GOT FIRED. You can read all about it in my recap, though there wasn't much to tell as, inexplicably, the most dramatic and interesting thing to happen so far on this show never even happened on camera. In addition, Kate had a fantastic date with a successful family oriented guy named Jeff who was so perfect he even liked The Princess Bride, to which she was basically like, yeah, he was okay I guess. Inconceivable!

Kate's hired a new matchmaker this week, which is surely something the magic of T.V. can whip right up for you just like that, and his assessment of the situation already is infinitely better than Rachel's. You see, Kate's heart is two sizes too small, for starters. Correct!

Now is the point in the script where Mady and Cara act curious about how Kate's dates are going, so in the family room, which looks a bit dusty and drab (why on earth wouldn't you deep clean before filming?) the three sit down together to watch old clips. No matter what, no matter how, I can never get away from a damn clip show. Long-time readers of my recaps know if there is one thing I just loathe recapping, it's clips I've already recapped! My recapping pet peeve!

The girls scrutinize Stephen's clips (that's the guy Kate went on a boat ride with and then mushed together some pizza dough) and Mady points out, what's up with the white shorts? I didn't notice that before but yeah, what is up with those? The twins assess that although he has all his hair he's too hyper for Kate. Next.

Next up, Jeremiah, the "retired police officer" who saved some guy's life in the coffee shop, and is really just an actor and has five kids from basically like the span of two decades. He was weirdly enamored with Kate more than any of these other guys and God knows if I could tell you why because to quote Liz of Kentucky from Facebook again, she could freeze the nuts off a polar bear. Predictably the twins reject him for being too young and having too many kids.

Todd's up, who was a really nice guy, but pretty short. Mady says he looks like an 11th grader. Aw, poor Todd! He can't help that he looks like a cabbage patch doll and only comes up to Kate's chin. That's not his fault! Mady admits he was nice and funny, but too short says Cara. At least Mady says "Sorry, Todd." Don't be sorry, Todd's unfortunate height is the best thing that ever happened to him because he won't be going on a second date with Schmoopy here. God knew the plans he had for him.

Next, Jeff. Mady says Kate actually spoke highly of him after the date. The twins like him because he has no kids. I get that they don't want anymore kids, but if anyone was being wise here, it would behoove them to ask why a guy doesn't have kids. Because if there's any chance it's because they don't like kids, one would want to know that.

"He's too good for you," Mady says. Wait, did she just say that? Ouch! I mean, that's exactly what I said, but this is her mother! Seriously, why would Mady say something that nasty to her own mother? Kate says "I know I think so too," as if that's a totally appropriate comment for a daughter to say about their mother. I'm so confused. Are they being facetious, or do Kate and Mady honestly think Jeff is too good for Kate? Because if so, that's kind of sad. Although Jeff actually is way too good for her, so beyond out of her league I have no idea why he even gave her a second look, it is sad that anyone who wants to date him would think they're not worthy of him. I guess to all this I would say: if you are having thoughts about not being good enough for a great guy, you need to ask yourself why you think that, and work on addressing it. Whether that's therapy to improve your self-esteem, or changing how you act or the things you are doing with your life that perhaps aren't suited to a good guy, but no woman should not feel "good enough" to date a good guy.

Mady gets it right again and says she thinks Kate's into Jeff and if she's not, there's something wrong with her. Correct. Anybody want a peanut? 

Finally Andrew, the absolute dud. Ha, Mady points out another thing I did in my last recap, about what's with the full on Nike track suit Andrew was wearing just to play a casual game of squash. Heh! Perhaps Mady could take over writing the recaps here and give me a break! We love a mute man, Mady deadpans. Heh, and that's why she's my Annie Sullivan!

Mady does have a few witty remarks up her sleeve, enough for her to consider trying a creative writing class when she starts college in the fall as an undecided major. She says she would have walked out on Andrew too and said "this looks like my parent-teacher conference, bye!" Ha.

Mady ranks Jeff first, then Todd, Jeremiah, Stephan and Andrew. That's exactly how I would rank them.

Mady suggests for future dates not doctors or guys who look like gym teachers. Nobody in that pool was a doctor I don't think so not sure I get that comment. Medical sales is not a "doctor," Mady. The no gym teacher lookalikes requirement would be way too difficult for a doofus like Rachel to understand so it's a good thing that one got fired last episode.

Wait a second, what happened to Rosario? The actor, opera singer, and my Italian amor? How come he was completely left out of the conversation and not even ranked? Inconcepibile! When unexplained stuff like this happens on this show, which seems to happen a lot, I like to imagine what really happened behind the scenes. Sort of a Kate Plus Date fan fiction. And in my fan fiction Rosario was so disgusted with the whole fake process he ripped up his contract and said if they dare mention his name or show his face on this show again he'll sue them into the ground. A woman can fantasize.

Adam LoDolce is Kate's new coach, and he's mostly out there to just get famous. According to his web site he was in management consulting, whatever that is, and then in a convoluted way that reads like rather a boring story, ended up giving dating advice. Still, I have to say that I like his approach to dating, in that the secret to dating isn't to play games but rather to be confident in you and what you want and deserve. I more or less agree, as I believe you cannot have a truly successful healthy relationship until you feel successful yourself as a person independent of a man or woman. Rachel's advice seems much more shallow and usually vague, like flirt, and honor nervousness. Yeah, I don't know what that means. On his web site Adam says decidedly that he is not the coach for you if you Want an easy way to manipulate men so that you have the upper hand…Want an “easy fix” to finding Mr. Right…Are unwilling to change…Think men are the problem...

Ha, he's so not going to work for Kate. She's going to regret firing Rachel after this!

Adam doesn't even seem to offer personal consulting like Rachel does. He just offers himself up to be quoted in the media. He even calls himself a media consultant! I expected to find this guy to be a grade A douche, but I find I kind of like his brutal honesty about it all. I'm just here to tell you the truth about why you all suck at life and get a quote in the New Yorker, anybody got a problem with that? Heh.

And I think it's important to not confuse the issues. Adam may be a media whore, that's clear, but that doesn't mean his advice is incorrect.

No man wants a life with you unless you have an amazing life without him, Adam says. Wow, I could not agree more! It wasn't until I stopped focusing so much on finding the one and focused on just developing a full and interesting life on my own that a relationship worked out for me.

In the meantime I traveled to Europe, including Iceland, and chaperoned a school group in Australia for two weeks.

Admin's L.A. contingent Australia group!
I developed a serious interest in photography and took workshops and got up before dawn to take photos. I began fostering dogs, I took up hiking and backcountry backpacking and hiked a 30 mile portion of the John Muir trail, solo. Yep, solo.

Admin's last night on the trail.
I played piano in the church band.

Admin's band helping worshipers connect.
I even seriously considered fostering a child, though haven't done it just yet. All without a man. Doing all this gave me some tremendously fun hobbies but I also noticed it gave me plenty to talk about on a date and stories to tell, such that dead air couldn't possibly be a problem. And invariably dates would have something in common with one of those things and that would set him going on something. So, surprisingly, Adam is dead right about all this. Of course many dates don't work out but they would often say things like you seem really cool and even though you/I/we've decided not to pursue this further I had a really good time. I think I gave off a vibe that I was worth respecting enough to at least do me the courtesy of not ghosting me, and to this day that's never happened to me.

One thing we have all noticed over the years is that Kate seems to struggle with filling her time with similar fun and interesting things. She dabbles in this and that but never seriously commits. She's dropped some decent and productive hobbies and replaced them with cliche excuses like being too busy. Do you think a lawyer is not busy, Kate? But says RN Chaunie Brusie "If we are busy to the point of exhaustion or to a point that it’s hurting our health or we can’t find time to do anything that fulfills us, then “busyness” is a problem." Kate seems to be putting off a lot of traveling as if hoping someone else will pay for it first. She has focused a lot on hating Jon and filing lawsuits, and not on finding productive things to do with her life that don't involve inflicting turmoil on others. For someone so "busy" the evidence is she seems to do a whole lot of TV watching, wine drinking, and lounging in bed. Those things are nice and relaxing don't get me wrong, but when they start consuming the majority of your time, it's a problem. As a result, she's not a catch. She's not good enough for Jeff for this very reason. She doesn't have the same good stories to tell others do. She is not an interesting person and is wasting her life. She will be ghosted by men and repeatedly. Adam's work is cut out for him. In fact if I didn't know any better, I'd say she's depressed, and if she got help for it, she might be able to get her life back on the rails.

For some reason tonight Kate is doing that thing where it takes her a million years to make one point, and that makes recapping soooo tedious. Basically she is interested in hearing Adam's perspective as a guy in his mid-30's. Took her like three paragraphs to say just that.

Adam was scared of Kate before he met her? Heh! Better put on a jockstrap before you enter the room because she's a ballbuster, Adam.

Adam wants to know what he can do differently to help Kate, and Kate pulls out her best Heir Kate and goes into a litany tirade about how much Rachel sucks. It doesn't work for Kate to just go in and say let's have fun. She will tell you when she's having fun. She sounds like Viggo Mortensen from GI Jane. If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you. Kate does a funny malaprop calling this Pollyanna glasses. I immediately picture cute little Hayley Mills wearing Harry Potter glasses. WTF are Pollyanna glasses? The expression is rose-colored glasses, heifer. Or just, Rachel is a Pollyanna. You don't combine them both.

As much as I have questioned Rachel's competence just as much as Kate has, I find Kate's explanation of the Rachel situation to be unnecessary, rude and not very classy. Rachel is not a bad person, just bad at her job, and there is no reason to insult her so publicly like this or paint a picture that she should never work in this field again. She's something else for previously complaining about people preventing her from getting work, because one nasty review like that on such a public forum by a quasi-famous reality T.V. person could ruin a small-time career like Rachel's, so. Why can't she just say Rachel had a certain style that wasn't for me and I wish her the best? Be a grown-up.

Kate also thinks she and her situation is the most unique precious snowflake. Oh STFU.

Adam seems frightened.

I hate when the kids repeat a narrative you know Kate drilled into them. Mady explains this is hard because of everything Kate has been through. What has she been through exactly? She had a divorce like millions of other people, and it was ten years ago. Some people don't like her, and it's not like the people who don't like Meghan Markle just because. There are real concrete reasons people don't like her that are well documented and include child abuse and an incredible amount of child exploitation so bad the state of Pennsylvania had to get involved. She discarded two of her own children, that was on her, too. But to her credit Mady does say if she wants to be happy and do this dating thing she needs to suck it up. Exactly, suck it up for once and STFU. For once!

Kate explains to Adam that a lot of babysitters, family, and so on have walked away because her life is too much pressure. Oh is that why you think folks walked away, Kate?

Kate plays a whole big game about how she can't talk about this or that about the divorce but doesn't explain much why. Some of it seems to be because she won't talk about it to protect the kids (oh yeah sure), but is she implying confidentiality too? Why not just say there's a gag order still in place, and stop talking in circles? Speak plainly, anything else is annoying as F! Adam points out that while he gets it, this makes building rapport with her a lot harder. Exactly. People who song and dance around issues, whatever their reasons, are annoying to try to help. By the way I deal with gag orders all the time in court since our cases are almost always confidential, and there is no such thing as a gag order preventing someone from talking about their feelings. What they don't want you to say is Jon has custody on these days and our assets were divided this or that way. But it's unlikely anyone will have a problem with you saying "I'm frustrated with the way our custodial time was divided" or "I'm angry about the asset divisions." That's all Adam wants to know is what is bothering her so much, he doesn't need to know the boring specifics. And just my suspicion, but I bet Kate herself can't pin down what's really bothering her in any way that sounds rational. Because the real reason she won't ever say is that she hates Jon for stopping the filming. That's all it is. She doesn't care about custody, that much is clear, finances aren't bothering her, nothing else bothers her. She's just stuck in a vortex of resentment over filming that she will never, ever get over. I have always felt that had Jon not said anything about having an issue with filming and just sucked it up and gone along, Kate would to this day be going on about how much she still loves and cares for him.

Adam explains she is closed off on dates, creating a barrier where she is unwilling to share anything not perfect. Adam needs her to open up and be vulnerable.

I personally find it very obnoxious when people try to say you will never understand this or that about me. It sounds arrogant to me. As if your life and problems are so much more unique or harder than everyone else's. Kate, you don't own personal problems, and lots of people are quite capable of having plenty of empathy and understanding about your dumb and mostly stale problems without having personally experienced them.

Adam wants to know if she's been burned since Jon (he is kind enough not to point out that was ten years ago). Kate averts her eyes, again refusing to discuss her very real and lengthy relationship with Jeff Prescott. She denies ever having been in love since, and then adds, "at all." Is she implying she wasn't in love with Jon either? Oh my god she's such a tool!

Kate claims to have trust issues and her view of people changed after Jon. I firmly believe that trust issues have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with her relationship issues. As @FlimsyFlamsy said commenting on last week's episode, "I think TFW's failure at dating can be boiled down to one specific trait: she honestly doesn't care about other people, and sees them only through the lens of how they can help her."

Exactly, Kate doesn't care! It worked okay with Jon because at that age a lot of young people are inherently selfish and so you don't notice if the other person is just selfish too, and they were both sort of just acting their ages. Except Kate never grew out of being so self-absorbed as most young people will, and when Jon did grow out of it like everyone else normal, he realized, holy shit this woman actually isn't putting me or my kids first or even second or third, so I'm out.

But Kate now trying to date at 44 and the vast majority of guys are going to be well onto her and quick. She's only going to make it past a few dates with anyone before they realize she's bad news all around. It's just so extremely hard to have any kind of successful relationship, even friendships, if you only see people as a means to an end. That's why Kate has no husband, that's why she's lost two of her children, that's why things ended so badly with Jon and many other family members and friends. This entire series I have questioned whether Kate really has any desire to be with a man at all, and I think if Adam is any good, he will soon see that too and question her on it.

Adam is doing research, like watching old clips of the show, which seems to me far more research than Rachel ever bothered with. He believes Kate carries around a backpack of baggage. More like a Mack truck, but close enough. He says she has "black heart syndrome" and to change that to red she needs to be open to finding love. Kate keeps cutting Adam off when he's in the middle of saying something good, and it's annoying and very rude.

Adam's first selection for Kate is Nick, and before they can explain who Nick is, some chick from production swoops in and claims Nick has been in a car accident.

Is Nick okay? is Adam's first reaction.

Is Nick okay? is my first reaction.

Seriously, I hope Nick is okay. However, anyone who has dated for a long time knows that the "car accident" excuse is the oldest excuse in the book. You can't question it, because you'll look like an asshole if it's actually true. So it works to get the guy out of the date every time.

By Kate's own admission, her first reaction is not is Nick okay? like normal people. Her first reaction is welcome to my life. Her second reaction is, is Nick okay. Classic Kate.

Adam suggests maybe the two of them could go miniature golfing, and Kate is reluctant to do that because it feels weird to do that knowing someone just got in a car accident. I mean, I kind of agree with that one. It feels like you should just go home and maybe call Nick tomorrow to make sure he's all right and only even consider thinking of rescheduling if Nick brings it up.

Adam says this could be like a practice mock date, which is something I suggested when Rachel was in charge. Kate isn't even close to being ready for a real date, she's got to practice first. It's like Kate has gone into the Supreme Court to argue a case without first doing a whole bunch of mock arguments with your peers first to get comfortable. Not wise.

Now that they've decided to play golf Kate just wants to play golf and not talk about anything serious. Adam tries to ask her probing stuff like what she's looking for in a date and Kate gets all mad that someone is asking her to do two things at once. Adam's never seen anything like this. You clearly haven't watched much of Kate, have you Adam?

In all seriousness though, the inability to focus on more than one subject at a time is pretty common for those on the spectrum. I know we've had that conversation here many times, with some of us believing Kate is on the spectrum, others believing she is a narcissist that just happens to have some traits that look like autism, others thinking she's probably a combination of both. And after seeing these episodes so far and learning more about Kate than I ever asked to know, I'm pretty much on board with her being both. To be sure, she's a narcissist, but she's on the spectrum too even if high functioning. The aversion to touching, the inability to multitask, her extreme struggles with empathy, the difficulty with small talk that comes so easily to most of us. It's really classic autism spectrum and doesn't fit as neatly into just narcissism. It's unfortunate to have to say this though, because I always get worried perhaps those who don't know much about autism will assume this means autistic people are mean, or uncaring, or discard their children. That's not what it is. Many if not most autistic people care very deeply about people, and are able to have successful relationships and families, they just express themselves differently.

Kate, a 44-year-old woman, says she is very competitive and had to win this stupid miniature golf game. I wonder if she has any idea how nuts she sounds. Incidentally, a lot of people with autism report feelings of extreme competitiveness, and intense anger and disappointment in themselves if they lose.

With a straight face, Kate says the reason it's hard to her to describe what she wants is it's the non-tangible stuff that she wants. Well, right, Kate, most single people are looking for mostly non-tangible stuff in a partner, and like, it would be nice if you weren't an absolute toad to look at, but for most people that's just one small part of it. She says she wants integrity, honesty, tenacity and perseverance, and that height, eye color, hair color. doesn't so much matter. She's only kidding herself, as she was absolutely obsessed with Todd's short height.

Does Kate think when Rachel or Adam were asking her what she is looking for, they meant what she is physically looking for? I realize now this doofus didn't understand the question in the first place, and actually thinks they want her to describe what a date should look like as opposed to who he is as a person. Oy! Because otherwise why doesn't she just tell them I'm looking for a man with integrity, honesty, tenacity and perseverance. That way a matchmaker can seek out more people who, say, started a charity in the Dominican, for starters. She's so difficult.

Mady says well she, Mady, mostly just cares if the guys are cute. Ew, she wants her stepdad to be cute? I mean, I kind of think she's saying she does. That's a little unhealthy. She is only 17 so I remember "cute" being really important at that age. However you learn years later via Facebook the cutest guys are always the ones that got bald and fat and still live with their mothers. Isn't that funny?

Kate is 60-70 percent hopeful she will find love, and Adam snarks that that's higher than he feels, hehe. And then she hits the golf ball into the hole to which Adam says that means she'll find love. Kate reports looking forward to what's next and enjoying this process. Well I'm glad someone is.

So what happened to Nick, is he okay? They never say. But the next day, Adam takes Kate into some tiny little cleared out restaurant, sits her down and says she'll be going on two dates in a row, first with Nick. The same Nick from yesterday, I assume?

Nick is late, heh, and it's either because he is hobbling to the restaurant in a body cast from yesterday, or is full of shit. I'm gonna go with he's full of shit. Mady reports that Kate is 20 minutes late everywhere and Cara says try an hour. Since Cara is the math major, I'm going to go with her answer. Also, doesn't surprise me Kate is one of those late people because when it comes to narcissism only their time matters, not everybody else's. Hey, Kate, being late all the time is flipping rude and doesn't make you a catch or worthy of guys like Jeff Boyd or worthy of not being ghosted. And this is where I'm clear she's a narcissistic too, because she's doing the late thing because it's all about her. Most autistic people are very good about watching time, obsessing over it, and many are militant about punctuality down to the second because it appeals to their meticulous nature and comfort in routine. It's one reason why they actually can make really good employees in a lot of fields.

After 20 minutes Adam calls it, Nick has ghosted Kate. Haha, yes! Someone finally felt themselves too important to give a flying fig about Kate Gosselin. Nick is marriage material. And in my Kate Plus Date fantasy, I imagine Nick googling Kate just before the date, being horrified by what he saw, and quick whipping up a terrible story about a car accident before he ran for the hills.

Also, we all know now, the "car accident" yesterday was a big fat lie, calling it.

It's okay though because Adam has a second date lined up now, Joey Batista. He's 39, warm and handsome, and owns a restaurant in NYC called Joey Bats Cafe. I looked it up on Yelp, and it has an impressive five star rating. Looks like they specialize in Portuguese egg tarts, which look just delicious. But anyone who knows what it's like in the restaurant business knows right out of the gate dating someone in Pennsylvania is not realistic. You work too long and too hard. Joey reminds me a little of Kate's old friend Tony.

Joey actually knows of Kate, and I'm in shock, but then he qualifies it as well he knows the "bare minimum." Heh, bare minimum doesn't count, so I'm still gonna put him in the "don't have a clue who she is" pile. I'm guessing bare minimum basically means he was checking out in the grocery store with his pineapple kumbucha and his cheesy popcorn and saw her on a tabloid cover that said "Monster Mom" but never actually opened the magazine to read the article, so yeah, he knows of her.

Kate says this younger thing could be a dealbreaker, claiming that she doesn't want to look older. No, heifer, that's not what you said before. You explained before quite clearly you don't want someone younger because you don't want Jon. So I'm not going to allow you to change the story on us now.

Joey thinks Kate looks like she needs a drink so they start getting some alcohol in them. Kate demands to know why everyone is shoving drinks down her throat. Heh, just as I suspected, production is intentionally encouraging everyone to drink because that's the oldest trick in the book to encourage better reality T.V. Pathetic.

I'm near falling asleep from Kate rambling on and on to this poor guy about the marathon she ran/cheated at and all the other running she allegedly does. Or did. She admits she don't run anymore, which we all knew that. Joey is doing a great job of pretending to care. By the way, the marathon was eight years ago, so knowing that, it seems kind of silly to talk so much about it as if you just did it last fall. Folks, she's on the spectrum. She talks just like someone on the spectrum, going on and on about one topic, not letting the other person get a breath in, and way overstaying her welcome with the topic even when the other person is asleep with their eyes open. Just as I'm nodding off Adam pops in off site where he's spying on them to laugh at Kate and say this is so boring. Ha! All right, he's so much better than Rachel, it's official.

It's like whiplash following a conversation when Kate tries to lead it. First she's talking about the creepy cat wallpaper in the restaurant, and next we're hearing about Joey's restaurant. Joey suggests they walk on over to the restaurant since it's only a few blocks away, as if he just thought of this idea and it wasn't completely planned by production in advance. Well, I guess he gets points for playing along.

Everyone is horrified when who should be there at the restaurant waiting for them but Joey's mother, but Kate is the only sensible one of all people to point out that it's the family's restaurant and his mother works there, so it's not a shock she would actually be there when they visit. Joey says he's never taken a date to his restaurant before. Is that supposed to mean that Kate is so special to him? Heh. Joey's mom is going to show Kate how to make a traditional Portuguese "cookie cake." This is starting to look more like some episode of Diners, Drive-ins and Dives on The Food Network than a dating show about Kate, weird.

The cake is pretty good though, it's like this yummy yellow pudding that Joey won't tell Kate the recipe of or he'll have to kill her, then cookies, then more pudding, then cookies again. I think it's no bake but that's not really explained. I think Joey's mom could probably move on along now, but no, she's bringing out wine and instead of just pouring them some and then leaving, she pours herself a glass, too. Heh! I mean, she's cute.

Adam's like, okay Mom needs to leave now, Kate is too focused on making the cake, and they need to touch. Yes, yes, yes.

Joey's mom finally excuses herself and then she goes to talk to the cameras and claims that they should go on a second date, ha. Hey, I think I get now how Joey has heard of Kate. Mom had the TV on in the back while they were doing payroll and some show about a monster mom and her eight now six kids was on and he glanced at the TV before politely asking her if they could just turn on the game. That explains it.

Joey and Kate are awkwardly standing there in the restaurant and just chatting, but soon are running out of things to say. Before Joey gets a chance to drum his hands on the counter and ask what else is there, Adam finally interrupts this odd date. At least he apologies about it as opposed to Rachel who just appeared in front of them and claimed restaurants with plenty of people still eating in them needed to shut down.

Adam says he's glad Kate listened to him about not bringing up her baggage and negativity on this date and just kept it positive and charming. Agreed. If my recaps don't make it clear, it seems to me Kate has yammered about her divorce and other issues on near every date so far. It's so boring and you can tell the guys find it unattractive. There's no reason to delve into that stuff when you're on a first date. It just makes you seem depressing and preoccupied, and it's not classy to divulge that sort of thing to someone you actually don't know at all. Save it for when the stranger in front of you is someone you can trust your heart with.

Adam and Kate confer and Adam is like, so my feedback is you did great with being positive, but I'd suggest maybe showing that you're interested in him once in awhile. Kate makes a hilariously confused face, like, why would I do that?? Because as Flimsy said, she's not interested in any people at all, so why should she be interested?

Adam would suggest Kate think about maybe hugging the dates, and Kate explains she doesn't touch and doesn't even hug her kids. Mady tries to excuse this as well Kate cares a lot for them but doesn't hug and kiss them, but it's okay because she would do anything for them (Mady, she actually wouldn't do anything for you, and someday you'll see that). Nope, sorry, Mady, there's no excuse for not hugging your children. Even if you don't like it, you hug them. Because it's good for their brains, their development, their self-esteem and self worth, so you f-ing do it, Kate. Did you like changing diapers? Did you like cleaning up throw up and spit up and diarrhea and other bodily fluids? Did you like trying to put a screaming baby back to sleep at 4am? But you did it, didn't you? You did it because it's best for them. So, you need to hug too, because it's best for them.

Maybe Hannah and Collin just needed a damn bear hug once in awhile, so that's why they went to go live with Jon. Tool.

Kate says Joey is a maybe to a yes for a next date. I find it inconsistent and confusing that Kate is all impressed with Adam for finding somebody like Joey for her, and apparently doesn't blame him at all for the dud that was Nick who didn't even show up. Yet when Rachel had one amazing date for her and one dud (Jeff, followed by gym teacher Andrew), it was all like she's the most terrible matchmaker ever. How come Kate refuses to give Rachel any credit for Jeff? It's weird. I mean, she does suck and I think Jeff was more of a fluke than her doing, but I'm just asking Kate to be consistent here.

Next on Kate Plus I Hate this Show, a mildly interesting episode where the twins meet the guys and interrogate them Meet the Parents style. This show is such a poor man's concept of an overall halfway decent idea I just have to laugh. It appears perhaps the twins have a different idea of who Kate should go on a second date with, which has me ever so curious about that one. Could I guess that maybe they thought Jeff was a bit too much of a "dad joke" type, and perhaps liked the younger, cute and personable Joey? I can't believe I'm actually wondering what happens next, I hate myself and deserve to be ghosted. Until next time.

Monday, June 24, 2019

Discussion Thread: Kate Plus Date "Another One Bites the Dust" 6/24/2019 AND Recap: Kate Plus Date "Another One Bites the Dust": God love her, but her personality could freeze the nuts off a polar bear!

We're back with our next Kate Plus Date recap and this time we're up to Episode Three, Another One Bites the Dust. No, don't tell me this heifer rejects her next two dates, too. You're kidding!

This is another episode TLC pushed to their app days early, so the recap is again ready in time for the episode. Jury is still out on why they are doing this, but my speculation remains it's a test run for some idea they have and Kate's show was the random guinea pig, luck of the draw.

And hey I know we can be a little slow on the uptake sometimes but a couple of us on the blog finally realized that every episode is stealing a song from Queen. I got a kick out of you bloggers suggesting more appropriate Queen songs for this hot mess and I would pick "I Want It All." About how you bulldoze your way to getting everything you want. That's our Kate!

Check out the recap to find out what happened last time. One thing that's always been good fun about following this saga over many years now is all the hilarious snark. This blog started in 2009, folks, our ten year anniversary is August 2019, yeesh! There's been both great snark here and from around the inter webs reposted here, and Gigi Be was kind enough to bring over some of the best from the Kate Plus Date Facebook page. Says Liz from Kentucky:  “I do hope she watches it back and maybe learns something about herself, like the fact that she frowns ALL THE TIME!!! Her wrinkles between her eyes are deep enough for a 70 yr old!! And God love her, there is not an ounce of warmth to her!! Her personality could freeze the nuts off a polar bear!! I will not be watching the 2nd time😐” 

Heh, I love the half frowning emoji at the end, nice touch. Yep, that's pretty much the sum of the first two episodes of this mess. You got it, Liz.

Coming up, Rachel still sucks at her job.

The episode kicks off with an awkwardly staged but very Kardashian-like scene where Kate and the girls are in some random mall talking about how her dating life is going. Aren't high school girls supposed to be spilling the tea to their moms about their dating lives? Who cares about their mother's dating life? Weird.

In a graphic they line up the four dates Kate has already had in a way that feels really insensitive to the men, as if they are dresses Kate is trying on and not real people with feelings. I'm pretty convinced if this were like, Matt Roloff's show about picking his next girlfriend, their would be outrage. But women get away with a lot, way more than they appreciate, including a whole lot of hypocritical behavior. Man, those French tip nails are near blinding me when I'm just trying to do a recap here. Sheesh they're whiter than Dawson's Creek.

The mall setup gets awkwarder still as Mady recites a litany of lines about how she wants to meet Kate's dates, and it's embarrassing how badly she's trying to be Kim Kardashian 2.0 here.

Why does Mady keep talking about approving dates for marriage and how they need to get to know Mady first? Mady, your mother here can barely get through a peck on the cheek after one encounter with a nice guy, you may be putting the cart before the horse.

Rachel's baaaaack with another stupid idea to have Kate do improv comedy. Which will somehow translate to a better dating life. You got me, too, folks. Kate says these little excursions with dumb Rachel are more stressful than even the dates themselves, heh! For us viewers, too, schmoopy.

Rachel claims Kate says she lacks confidence. That is literally the last quality about Kate I would think she is lacking. In fact it's her over-confidence that has landed her in so much trouble. She's delusional and over-confident to her detriment, still to this day thinking she's actually living such a rockstar public life on her television show that she can't even leave the house without getting mobbed. Word down the pike is that in this episode Rachel gets fired, and I know I'm going to really hate having to agree with Kate, but get rid of this doofus. Rachel has absolutely no understanding of who Kate is and the inquiry should stop there but even if it didn't, she sucks at so much else, too, I don't know why she's not fired already.

And in typical jack of all trades master of none, Rachel is going on about how funny Kate is. Well if you mean hilariously awful at cooking, speaking, raising children, marriage, dating.... yes, she's funny. What does funny have to do with anything? Anyone with a lick of knowledge about comedy knows that improv really isn't about trying to be "funny" at all and if you go in "trying to be funny" any improv you do will likely fall flat.

But hey at least this time Rachel isn't insisting they do some dumb activity in the middle of the date and rudely leave the date standing around waiting for them to get back. And I also wouldn't at all be surprised if this episode was re-edited to move the traditional "mid-date" activity with Rachel to before the date, since it was pointed out by viewers how rude it was. The magic of editing bays.

Mady says Kate flirts with construction workers to get through roadblocks. Of course she does because no roadblock could hold back a good entitled narcissist. And that's probably going to be the most interesting and telling comment we will hear about Kate tonight. I can't even imagine how exactly Kate flirts with construction workers to get through a roadblock and I'm weirded out thinking about it. Is it like, "Hey there Mr. Construction Man, I'd sure love for you to raise my roof! Now let me and my Audi on through your roadblock, what do you say?" Just, eww. And why does Kate want to get through a roadblock so bad anyway? Is she sure about that? Hasn't she ever seen Speed?

One of the improv guys already hates this, sharply correcting Kate when she calls whatever it is they do "skits" and not the correct word "scenes." Heh, this could be good.

They do a quick scene, and I guess it's about a kid asking his mom why she's dating Kent now and not with dad. Who is Kent and how did he figure out how to get past the first date with stone cold Kate and does he have money? But when Kate tells her "son" they'll talk about it later she violated the very first rule of improv in that you don't contradict your partner and you always go with the flow. In other words when he asked about Kent, Kate's answer should have been anything but we're not going to talk about it. Not that I expect Kate to know any of the rules of improv because why should she? To her credit, Kate was willing to try it and actually genuinely enjoyed herself.

Rachel is over the top proud of herself for how well the improv went and it was okay but Rachel, this doesn't do a thing to get to the heart of why Kate is such a basket case on a simple thing such as a date.

Kate launches into some tirade about how people have this impression of her that she is a horrible strict mother but she actually loves to laugh and has an amazing sense of humor. What does that have to do with being a horrible child abuser? Some horrible child abusers have a sense of humor, so what? Kate, you discarded two of your children in the dumpster. Next?

"I hope you learned something," snarks the snarky improv guy who hates her. Hehe.

Rachel somehow surmises that due to Kate coming up with a few half decent things to say during her improv class she is now an incredible conversationalist and there will never be dead air again. Well that's optimistic. Nobody listen to Rachel. Here's a much better suggestion for how to be a good conversationalist that has nothing to do with wasting your time and everyone else's in an improv class you have no business being in: Ask questions. Just keep asking questions. Most people like to talk about themselves, and asking questions is good for two reasons, because it gets the other person talking so you don't have to think of things to say, and it makes the other person feel good because they assume if someone is asking questions they are interested. And second tip is read. Read at least four to five interesting things every day (not just news but non-fiction, fiction, topics like travel, music, sports or hobbies, whatever) and when you're out of questions bring up something you read and ask what they think of it. Your conversation will usually be able to go for hours just doing that.

If Rachel did what is actually a classic improv game with Kate where Kate could only ask questions of anyone else, that might actually work in teaching this sorry mess how to talk like normal humans. Sigh, what a mess these two women are.

Stay tuned for fun Kate, Kate says. No, she actually says this.

Heh, coming up, another guy who doesn't know who the F Kate is. I just love when that happens. It just throws such a damper on Kate's ridiculous narrative that she can't online date or do this or do that because she's just so well known. In fact near every guy she's been set up with hasn't the foggiest idea who she is.

Kate's first date is Jeff Boyd, who creepily has the exact same name as one of my old friends from school. Rachel nonsensically explains that Jeff, who is from North Carolina, and Kate, who is from PA, will be brought up to NYC to have their date. And this relationship will work how?

Is it just me or do any single women (or women who remember being single) just want to punch a guy in the face when he says he realized as he hit about 43 he better start sort of stop traveling all the time and partying and drinking and maybe put down some roots and find a wife and have some kids. Isn't that nice you can just ignore the ovary clock and can work and travel and do whatever the F you want for as long as you want and then round about when it gets a little old to be hungover half the morning all the time you find yourself to be 43 years old and finally get your shit together and grab a pretty wife (who is usually ten or more years younger) and have your kids and perfect family with a snap of your fingers? Sorry, just a little rant on behalf of women everywhere, but biology is really unfair sometimes.

Jeff owns his own business and seems to be the first date here who hasn't been married before. He does seem nice.

All Kate can say about what she wants at this point is a guy with a sense of humor and then names two completely shallow requirements, older than her (WHY?) and tall.

In addition to Jeff having the same name as my friend, his voice and intonations sound exactly like another friend of mine. Like exactly. I feel like God is making fun of me.

Oh lordy, Jeff looks immediately pretty enamored with Kate (GREAT, another guy's gonna get hurt for no god damn good reason) as they meet up at a private bowling lane. We actually did this once for an old work Christmas party, rented our own private lane. I thought it was silly waste of money at first but turns out it was incredible fun to have our own little space to bowl.

The only thing Kate can much say about Jeff on the couch is he has long hair but it was neat. Um, I mean, it wasn't that long. I don't like that style myself where the man's hair is all the same length and swept back, I think it looks juvenile on most men, but his cut is neat and clean and he can always get a different haircut if someone won't marry him over something like that, or just dump her.

They have a mostly shallow conversation about whatever and Jeff mentions that although he is competitive he's a good loser. Jeff, I know you haven't heard of Kate but have you heard of Jon? Kate is not a good loser too.

I like Jeff a ton and immediately. He says he doesn't have kids but has three nephews. Any guy who when asked about having kids brings up other kids who are special to them in their life is likely a good egg. He also points out that he would be way more concerned about the eight kids if they were toddlers (right?!) but since they're so much older now it seems it's near a non-issue for him. I know he doesn't know he's doing it but twice in a row he's made Kate's narrative look stupid. He's proven not everyone knows who the F she is, and that her kids aren't the reason she can't go out there and get herself a man especially given how old they are now.

Jeff is funny and personable. When he bowls a strike right out of the gate, he jokes about practicing before the date. That's the sort of thing that should put your date at ease. He's a guy that likes doing those little touches as he speaks to you, like touching your shoulder as he points to something. We spend an extremely long time explaining that Kate doesn't like to be touched and Mady says she's passed that down to the kids as none of them like to be touched either. I'm not sure this is so much a genetic thing as a nurture thing. Don't touch or hug your kids much at all and they grow up not ever wanting to be touched either. (Or, they will crave touching so much they'll put themselves in unhealthy relationships or situations just to get it.) Greattttt parenting.

Kate the martyr says she doesn't know what it's like to have no responsibilities and a free day to do whatever she likes, so she couldn't tell Jeff what she would do with that day. "I'll get back to you," she says. She's such a tool. Such.a.tool. I wish this guy would say, um, aren't your kids like 15 and 17? Aren't you just a glorified uber pool driver at this point in their childhoods? I also wish he knew about all the times she's jetted off to New York and L.A. and done whatever the F she wanted. She also doesn't realize that Jeff is asking in a somewhat complicated way, what are your hobbies? What do you like to do? He's trying to make conversation, and she's violating the improv rule again by refusing to answer the question and not going with the flow. Sigh.

Kate says one of the few true funny things I've ever heard from her. Just as Jeff is about to let go of his bowling ball she blurts out really fast "What do you think it would be like to have eight kids?" (Six kids, Kate. Six.) Jeff bowls a gutter ball. Heh, just kidding.

Wow, Kate actually admits that due to Jon, she vowed (vowed Kate, really? What is this Game of Thrones?) that she would never date anyone younger than her.

She's certifiable. Does she honestly think Jon's age had anything to do with anything? He is all of two year younger than her! Unless you're in certain states and 18 and he's 16, that's nothing. Around about past age 30, which was near the beginning of their relationship anyway, there should be little to no difference in maturity if there ever even was. Does she honestly think if Jon were two years older than her rather than two years younger than her, he magically would have found the maturity that age brings to love filming and continue to go along with it and the marriage could have gone on? What she will never understand is it's actually impressive that Jon at his relatively young age was able to recognize the long-term damage he was doing to his children and put a stop to it before it was too late, and that it was because of Jon, and Jon only, that these children mercifully got a very significant break in the near constant barrage of cameras in their lives and got to be a little bit normal for some time especially during the most painful periods of the divorce. And it's because of Jon leaving this all behind that ratings never really were the same and that filming mostly petered out in the following years. Keep in mind, the sextuplets haven't been filmed in over two years and rumor is Jon won't let them film this dating show, which means they can live these important teenage years in relative and deserved peace. This disruption Jon caused to filming could be the difference for many of them between a childhood they could process and move on from, versus one they'll just never get over. Kate will never, ever see this or admit it, but the kids are damn lucky Jon is their father and not some other older schmuck who may have gone along with all this filming until they were filmed into the ground, not even joking.

Kate is 18 days older than Jeff and she hates that. 18 days, Kate, good Lord. Why is this even an issue they are even talking about? Shouldn't you be asking things like, so who is special to you in your life, how important or unimportant is faith to you, how do you feel about alcohol/smoking/drugs, what are you looking for in a relationship and a woman, what values are important to you, how do you feel about children and what is your parenting style, where do you see yourself in five years, ten? Does any of this matter to Kate except for her damn obsession with finding somebody who is not Jon?

Do you play board games, Jeff asks. He likes board games? Sold!

All this "flirting" I guess I'll call it during this bowling is kind of like watching your favorite second grade teacher go on a date. You just don't want to see it, know about it, hear about it.

Jeff bested Kate by more than half her score, lol, and Jeff offers a rematch but bowling with his other hand. Heh, he deserves so much better than Kate. Move on, buddy, while you can.

Date Mom awkwardly appears in front of them mentioning something about dinner and I guess they didn't practice this scene because Jeff is confused about where he is supposed to go and do but eventually he realizes he needs to exit stage right and he grabs his drink (heh, I love how they keep them so liquored up) and takes off. What the hell? Lol, this show is such a mess!

At this point in the show, we should have been doing the improv class. But like I said, they moved the class to the beginning. So now we're suddenly at dinner.

Rachel claims that Jeff picked out the restaurant for them and then menu. Jeff and not production? Sure, Rachel. And what does that mean he picked out the menu? How come Kate can't just look at the restaurant's menu and pick what she wants to order herself? Odd.

"If I had spare time," Kate begins as they start dinner and I virtually slap her silly. She says in her spare time she would travel. Why can't she travel now? The kids have spring breaks, winter breaks, summer breaks off and she doesn't work. This dating show is the first project of any significance she has done in two years! It such an insult to working mothers and fathers who need every penny and often times actually can't take time off over spring breaks or summer breaks or winter breaks and even if they could don't have the money to travel their kids all over the place. She's so insensitive and pathetic.

Jeff loves traveling, has been to 75 countries and owns an adventure travel company which explains why he has been to 75 countries. Jeff has a well rounded and interesting life but just as he starts explaining something interesting about doing philanthropy in the Dominican Republic Kate cuts him off to make some dumb joke.

What takes you to the Dominican over 100 times? Kate demands. Kate, I'm guessing it has something to do with taxes, banks and payroll.

Oh you can see the stars in Kate's eyes about this being able to tag along on all these business trips to the Dominican Republic and lay at the beach. I guess she didn't hear Jeff's earlier commentary about himself where he explained he's actually feeling like all of that is getting old and he'd like to scale it back now and settle down. Heh!

Kate says on the couch that this guy would be great because she loves when guys have to go off somewhere and get out of her hair. Heh, I imagine that's how she stayed with the other Jeff in her life, Jeff Millionaire, the one she keeps lying about (and libeling and slandering), for two whole years.

Jeff went white-water rafting in Patagonia and then decided to buy the travel company he went with I guess. Kate is so envious and wants to do that. I have no idea what she's talking about as Kate hated every second of white-water rafting.  Jeff, do some research before you even consider pursuing this woman because you need to know she actually requested of the white-water rafting guide that she not get wet.

Jeff feels there are other joys besides traveling like the joy of children. Jeff feels he's missed out by not having kids. Jeff moved to North Carolina to be near his two sisters and his nephews. Jeff is a total keeper. Total total keeper. I just don't want him for Kate, he's wasted on her.

Instead of listening to all this and realizing Jeff is the first of any of her dates who is a complete catch that one should reel in right now and do everything they can to make him their husband and hang onto forever, Kate instead makes a smug and annoying comment about why in the world would he live in North Carolina. He just told you, Kate. His extended family lives there and mean a lot to him, which is something I'm sure you don't understand. I'm also sure he enjoys the good food, kind people, excellent educational and cultural opportunities, the fact that @JoyinVirginia is your neighbor and knows all the best places to go, the beautiful beaches, and perhaps he likes scenery like this:

Credit Dave Allen
So, STFU about North Carolina and stop insulting its fine people, heifer.

Jeff's first date questions are so cute, like what's your favorite movie. His is Princess Bride???? Oh size a girl's finger right now and let's skip all the in between dating stuff.

Of course Kate laughs at him for that being his fav. STFU, heifer.

Does anyone care what Kate's favorite movie is? Didn't think so. But it's The Sound of Music, and I have no idea why she thinks anyone would laugh at that because it's an absolutely fantastic and perfect movie, from the structure and story to the music to the actors to the pacing to the cinematography. Everyone admits that even if they don't personally like it.

Jeff thinks that movie is great too? Oh no that makes me have to ask again if this date is another one who is gay. I mean, a lot of actors are. And he might just be too perfect to be straight. It is what it is.

The waiter brings out the meal and Jeff says there is cow hearts in there which is a classic Peruvian dish. Kate of course is an immature whiner about this but at least she tries it. I mean, meat eaters eat so many other parts of the cow.

When asked about the date Kate says there is a lot more they could talk about and dot-dot-dot we'll see. That is not nearly enough of a commitment as she should be making right now after a date this good. I have no idea why she's not recognizing this Jeff guy as the best she will ever get now or ever and just bag it up and check out. He likes Princess Bride, board games, and Sound of Music. As long as the guy is willing to wash a few dishes now and again and maybe sort through the junk mail, he's marriage material. The only thing that's a red flag about Jeff is that he's not picking up on what bad news Kate is and instead seems really interested.

Did I miss something or when did Kate suddenly start going to Charlotte all the time? I get that there's some kind of TLC connection there but I highly doubt a woman who has not filmed in two entire years constantly needs to jet down there. Aren't most things done by conference call these days anyway? She mentions meeting up with Jeff again the couple times he will be in Charlotte a year. A couple times a year?? If I were Jeff I would absolutely take that as she's not interested. If you are interested, you shouldn't say something like that. Rather mention something much more concrete, like, "I'd love to touch base later this week, give me a call." She's such a piece of work.

Oh my god, Kate is an asshole! When asked by production how she feels about Rachel now, she flippantly says she doesn't need Rachel. They are insinuating this date was really good, and does that make her feel better about Rachel! Kate does understand that Rachel got her this date, right? (I mean that's if you ignore this is all fake.) How else would she meet this actor and great guy Jeff without Rachel/the show? I mean, Rachel is a doofus, but she's trying her best, and it doesn't excuse Kate to be an unappreciative nasty bitch to her. If I were Rachel I would do-re-mi-fa-so and so on right up Kate's ass.

Heh, at least in the very next cut Rachel gets this bitch back by remarking that finding a date for Kate is much like throwing spaghetti at wall. Ha! Rachel, a lot of things about Kate are just like throwing spaghetti at a wall, you're finally getting it.

Next up is Andrew, a businessman from NYC who is 42 and according to Rachel, handsome. Handsome? I guess in that John Meehan sort of way, sure.

I don't understand when guys say they are mostly dating just to meet new friends. I have never in my life heard a woman say they're just looking to meet a "friend" when going on a date. You can find friends any time and anywhere. It's like they are sort of using it as a peremptory excuse to get out of a relationship quick and dirty without guilt. Oh, well, I'm just looking for friends I said that from the beginning, so, let's be friends!  So unfair and wastes the woman's time. 

I will say that this show has caused me to reflect a lot on the subject of dating, which has been mostly fun to think about. My own ups and downs with the process, what works and what doesn't, the various hypocrisies among men and women, the absurdities, the code words and phrases that men and women tend to repeat that I've figured out the true meaning of over the years. The highs and lows. Dating sure is quite the emotional ride but one hopes it is worth it in the end for both. 

Kate meets up with Andrew to play squash. Kate could tell right away she didn't like Andrew because of his demeanor. Gah, I hate agreeing with Kate. I've never done it so much in my life. But I don't like this guy's demeanor either! The best way to describe it is douchey, sorry. Who wears a full on Nike track suit from head to toe just to play a casual game of squash on a first date? A douche does. Who wants us all to be clear that racketball and squash are two different things? A douche does. Andrew, go tell your douchey friends at the club in Hudson Square that racketball and squash are two different things, they might care.

Wait, neither of them know the rules of squash. Then how does Andrew know so much about it being so different from racketball? And there's no teacher anywhere, so how will this work? They hit the ball a bit then get some water, then hit the ball again. They manage to talk about how Kate has enjoyed running in Central Park and then things peter out. 

Rachel blames this all on Andrew who she is sure is nervous. He doesn't seem that nervous to me, just uptight and of course he's reacting to Kate being so obvious in that she thinks he's maybe a half step above ebola and just below amoebic dysentery. The problem is a sport like this is a really stupid thing to do on a first date because you can't really talk! It's like, **swing, swing**, so what do you do for fun? **Run, swing-swing**, Well, I enjoy long walks on the **run, swing, swing!** It just doesn't work.

Kate points out to Rachel this could be a really painful dinner. Right?! Rachel's all like, well, I'll just talk to him don't worry he's just nervous, and some mumbo-jumbo guru talk about honoring his nervousness whatever the hell that means. 

I don't think you can impart a personality on someone in five minutes, Rachel, but go for it. 

Kate doesn't get why Rachel isn't learning what she wants from these dates and why after a date as decent as Jeff she gives her Andrew. Putting aside the fact that both are at fault, Rachel for not understanding how to help Kate despite the wealth of information about her out there, and Kate for not communicating her wants and needs well, is it really all that likely how this show is working behind the scenes? Is there a giant pool of men all lined up to date Kate and as each date goes by Rachel refines her picks and narrowly tailors it all and swaps out Peter for Paul seconds before the next date after realizing Kate actually really hates this or that? Or is it really more likely ten men were pre-approved and lined up to go and that Kate's dates were always going to be those ten men no matter what she said about the dates she'd already had? I can't see how it can be anything but the latter, shows just wouldn't work logistically or financially otherwise. Which make none of this Rachel's fault really because once the men are "cast," there's nothing she can do about it. Like if all the men had a cute little freckle on their chin and Kate said she hates cute freckles on chins, there would be nothing Rachel could do about it to swap in new men, right?

I have found myself confused at times, I guess is the word, for the way Kate and Rachel are so deeply committed to acting like this is all so real when really the majority of it or quite possibly all of it can't possibly be real at all. It's not "scripted" as Rachel has insisted, but it really is. It has to be. Not word for word, but you know what I mean.  

By the way, Andrew is a full year younger than Kate but the 18 days that was such a problem when it came to Jeff suddenly isn't even mentioned when it comes to Andrew. This is what I mean, Andrew was pre-selected and always was going to be the date even if Kate said after Jeff absolutely no one more than 18 days younger than me. 

Andrew says what I said to Rachel, what the hell with the squash as a first date? He says he's fine and looking forward to the dinner so Rachel sends him off to dinner.

For some reason neither Andrew or Kate can talk to each other. Every question is answered shortly and then deflates into silence. Ugh, sometimes that just happens even if you otherwise can carry on a conversation with near anyone, you just cannot with that particular person. And Andrew unfortunately has a number of things about him that just aren't all that interesting or good conversation starters to someone who isn't particularly good at conversation. He's in medical sales, has no kids so nothing to talk about there, loves dogs but doesn't have one so what more can you say there? Plays golf but doesn't anymore. Kate doesn't like sports so it ends there, too. Andrew is answering questions as if he is being interrogated by a detective in front of a mirrored window. Keep it short and simple, be noncommittal about everything, don't offer a thing that's not completely benign and generic. Forget dating, if you're like this in real life I can't much imagine this guy has much of anyone who even wants to be around him much less date him.

Oddly Andrew seems to think all this weird creepy silence is okay. Kate however knows it's flipping weird as we all do. Mady explains that Kate is bad hiding her emotions and for that part Kate could at least try not to act like she wants to rip her French tipped nails off one by one.

How bad is it when the date has to ask you, so "what else is there?" Haha, beyond not having kids or a dog or liking sports, that's it in my view.

They finish up some kind of unidentified dinner and Kate actually ends it early and tells Andrew we don't have a connection so thanks for playing. They shake. Haha! Well I mean, it is a transaction, he's not wrong there. Unless they found some way around this, by the way, the actors would have had to have been paid for these parts. So for Andrew, it's just another sale and it's over now. Andrew gives a hilarious little drum tap on the table and takes off.  I wish that's how Jon would have left Kate. Thanks for playing, TABLE TAP, handshake, BYE FELICIA.

I like how in the post interview instead of Andrew saying "it is what it is" he says "it is what it was." Nice touch with the past tense, because for your sake I hope you never have to encounter than woman ever again. 

You know, maybe Andrew just got a sixth sense about her and couldn't get past it to act normal. His personality came across as quite odd but it doesn't prove he's always like this. Anyone who has had a bad date with no connection knows that feeling and how hard it is to fake that you're having a great time. It's New York City and I'm just going to move on. What does that mean, it's New York City and I'm just going to move on? I truly don't know and it's the most interesting thing he's said all night.

Wait, did Kate just fire Rachel off camera? Ha, that was awesome! All of a sudden we're cutting to Kate on the couch saying she needs to move on from Rachel and try some other matchmaker. And you know that meant some crazy shit went down that the cameras couldn't manage to catch or weren't allowed to catch, because if this part was part of the script, you know good and damn well it would have been filmed as a big dramatic outburst and promo-ed for weeks ahead of time. Instead, nothing! Deflated anti-climatic balloon!

Rachel briefly responds to all this and looks deliriously happy about it all. Heh. Like, those chipmunk teeth have never popped that much. Oddly she says "it's safer that way." What's safer? You not being around Kate? It was unsafe working for Kate? Oh, folks, there is such a big story here we're not being told and may never know. Damn it! I want someone on instagram to ask Rachel what she meant by it's "safer" to not work for Kate anymore, she seems keen to answer a lot of questions lately and maybe she'll take the bait. Maybe I can talk my dog @sea.gordon into doing it. 

Can I ask a question? Why was Rachel fired when Jeff was a really, really good date? What does it matter that Andrew was a bad date when Jeff was so good? All it takes is one good guy. As much as Rachel grates, I really don't understand why Kate isn't over the moon happy with her she finally dug out Jeff from the pile of turds. She should be telling her I love you, Rachel, forget the rest of the dates, let's just do date two with Jeff right now because he's great! And I kind of wish Rachel would stand up for herself a little and say wait a second wasn't Jeff good, were you not happy with Jeff, was I not doing my job correctly with Jeff? He was handsome, funny, the date went well, no kids, no divorces, had all your qualifications except for the age thing but I should at least get a pass for that for coming within 19 days of him being older than you. Come on, Rachel, show some spirit! 

And if she doesn't end up with Jeff, Jeff, you seem like an incredible guy and I hope you find a great woman who is right for you, who lives local, doesn't have eight kids, loves family and your nephews as much as you do, and is not an impossible shrew.

Next up on Kate Plus Date, Kate's replacement matchmaker aka social media influencer finally calls it right, Kate has "Black Heart Syndrome." Oh, help me help me I can't breathe! Yes, matchmaker guy, yes! Now please make it your life's work to add this disease to the DSM-V and make the whole world a better place.

Monday, June 17, 2019

Discussion Thread: Kate Plus Date "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" 6/17/2019 AND Recap: Kate Plus Date "Crazy Little Thing Called Love": Rachel is not a 'date mom' she is a repugnant doofus

Hi everyone. Strangely, TLC decided to push this episode early to their online platforms as an "early premiere," so for the first time in my history of writing recaps, the recap is ready to go the moment the episode airs. It's just like we got an advanced screener copy! Heh. Enjoy.

I won't recap the show's recap of what happened last time, you can just read my recap here. The sum of it is Kate's matchmaker Rachel is pretty darn obtuse, and Kate rejected two potentially decent guys one because he had something called a personality and the other because he was an amazing guy who was like 5'7, maybe 5'8 on a good day. They don't play the Queen song this episode, oddly. Good because Queen was asking themselves "can we sue???"

Rachel starts off the episode with more dumb comments, this time talking about how she has to just cast the net wide because Kate can't articulate what she's looking for in a man. Rachel, she never did tell you what she wants because she's not really looking. It's so painful to watch Rachel continue to not get it.

I guess they're implying Kate will do two dates a week, and then regroup with Rachel to start up the next two the next week. It's unlikely this is how this was filmed, which would put it on a pretty lengthy five-week schedule, longer than some low-budget movies. It costs more money to film things in couple day spurts week after week. Usually you would film all at once or as much at once as possible, though perhaps with weekends off. They also probably filmed all of the North Carolina stuff at once and all of the New York City stuff at once and all of the PA stuff at once, to the extent possible. It makes no sense to be jetting off back and forth back and forth to all these places a dozen times as the show implies. So I'm not really sure I believe out of the gate this is "next week." It's more than likely just the next day or even out of order somewhere.

Kate says well this week her nerves are a bit better, and then proceeds to talk not about the men but being nervous about meeting Rachel last week. Why in the world was she nervous meeting Rachel? Is she supposed to be dating her? Well, I hope Kate quickly realized there's nothing to be nervous about meeting a blown bag, and that that was silly of her.

Rachel advises Kate to get out of her head and into her heart. That might be good advice if anyone actually knew what she meant by that. Self-help people who talk in mumbo-jumbo terms like that are generally just that, full of mumbo-jump crap. "Intentional" is one of my favorite stupid mumbo-jumbo buzzwords common among all the gurus these days. Do this intentionally, do that intentionally, be intentional, yada yada. Since almost everything I do except maybe pee a little when I laugh really hard is intentional, I haven't the foggiest clue what they mean by that and mostly find people who spew out stuff like "intentional" and "get out of your head" to be money-grabbing frauds.

Kate is interpreting all this as just don't "think" on a date. Um, so like, be a zombie? Normally I would say good heavens don't stop thinking all together, that could be scary, like what happens if you approach a crosswalk and aren't allowing yourself any thinking? But in Kate's case, she might be better off with taking the thinking out of this completely.

Can I put this questionable advice into simpler and hopefully better terms? I think what Kate needs to work on is being in the moment. In other words, advice from Realitytvkids, on a date try to stop yourself from running through a bunch of questions in your head, or fears, or what if's. Try to focus on one or two simple thoughts, like how can I get to know this man in front of me better right now, what can I say and do to help me do that? Don't worry if he's not for you, don't worry if you will be asked out on a second date, don't worry if he likes you too or if the date is going well for him or if you will marry. Consciously reassure yourself you will be able to think up and down about all those nagging questions later, once the date has ended and you've left.

When Rachel says "unknowwwwwn" I hear Syracuse. She went there, and I wonder if she's from the area. There's some upstate New York in this girl, whether born and raised or just a transplant!

Her first victim is up already, Jeremiah, from Jersey (Jersey!!), 39 and a retired police officer. Divorced of course. Police officer eh? This might work. Kate once said a police officer would be great for her kids.

Wait, he's a retired police officer. He's only 39, so what does he do now? Just not work? Let me guess, he's an actor and really only ever did the police thing maybe 6 months. Unless maybe the pension was so good it made sense to hang up the hat at 39, which is possible!

Jeremiah is looking for someone who can help him become a man. The what becoming what man? Jeremiah, you are 39 years old! There's not much more "becoming" left to go! Rachel is the worst matchmaker. He's all wrong for Kate. He says he'd like to help the woman do the same. Help Kate become a man? That could be an interesting relationship.

Huh, Jeremiah's shirt sure has a bunch of holes in it, which is a comment I can totally hear my grandmother saying if she were to watch this show, bless her departed soul.

Was the budget slashed on this show already between episode one and two? Because Kate pulls up to an escape room in a taxi this time. A taxi, baw! How mediocre! What happened to the limo, the champagne, the crowd of tourists wondering when the sidewalks will open up again? What, they couldn't even spring for an UberX? Pitiful.

Kate likes escape rooms because she's competitive to the death. Eh, another dating tip, try not to come across as psycho competitive, most people see that as a huge red flag. In general, first dates that involve a competition of some sort are not a good idea but if you must, try to just stay relaxed and don't be more concerned with winning than getting to know your date.

Jeremiah arrives at the escape room a bit out of breath and legitimately sweating. Kate noticed how tall Jeremiah was, but didn't notice his huge muscles that apparently production noticed, because he keeps talking about it out of the frame and questioning Kate on it. Maybe Jeremiah should be set up with him, he seems to appreciate him! Jeremiah thought Kate has pretty eyes. She does, they're a pretty color, sure. But still dead.

Sorry I'm late, Jeremiah says, but I was busy giving CPR to some guy in the coffee shop who collapsed. Kate says twice he's lying. At least later in the interview she seems to acknowledge that was kind of bitchy of her to just assume he's lying. Lol. The reason I don't think Jeremiah is lying is because it doesn't seem to bother him that Kate doesn't believe him. He's kind of like, whatever, I did what I did, I don't need you to validate me. A producer speaks up out of the frame and says this story is actually completely true. Sounds like the same voice who really was admiring the muscles earlier, hehe. After getting through the preliminaries accusing the date of lying to you within seconds of meeting him, at least Kate finally asks is the guy all right. Heh.
So can we hear more about how Jeremiah saved some guy with his mad CPR skillz? Sounds way more interesting than watching a date with Kate. Kate should be able to relate to this anyway, as she's been on life support for years.

The holey shirt is just really bad. It doesn't look fashionable, it looks like it needs a box full of moth balls to store it in.

The escape room they're going to do looks good, it's a "runaway train" and they put them in a car. They start opening drawers and reading numbers and trying to piece it together. They realize looking at various clues they have to hold hands to get to the next step, which Kate is happy to do because it will help them win the game.

Did Rachel just hop on a radio to give them a hint? I hear her voice in the train! That would have annoyed the shit out of me! They're doing really well in this room, and nobody was asking for hints, Rachel. Good Lord, she is the worst. I know I'm ridiculous, but I would not feel like I really completed this room if I did so with the help of even the tiniest of hints.

This honestly looks like a good escape room. I would do this one. Jeremiah tells Kate he loves her if this works as she tries to open a door with the provided glove. It works! He loves her! They solve the puzzle with 5 minutes to spare. That's pretty good.

Jeremiah couldn't really detect any sparks from Kate. She was really into the train, he remarks. What, did it have gravy on it?

After the escape room Rachel takes Kate to aerial yoga, which Kate pretty accurately describes as cirque du soleil. Wait, where's Jeremiah? I thought Kate was supposed to be dating him, not Rachel. What a weird interruption. And what's poor Jeremiah going to do while they do yoga? Maybe he could go check in on how that guy he gave CPR to is doing. Did anyone else notice that nobody said when Jeremiah arrived all sweaty, so hey, Jeremiah, do you need a minute or two to regroup and process that you just gave CPR to a half-dead man? Not Kate and not even dumb Rachel, who looked pretty nervous during all that that this might throw off her schedule to great fame and fortune.

The TLCgo app is playing a little nicer for me since I last used it, not cycling back to the beginning of the show every time I pause it, which was a giant pain when recapping because I need to pause the thing dozens of times. It still freezes at times, but not frequently.

"We're going to have fun!" Rachel says in a really bossy tone. I never expected to find Rachel even more annoying than Kate, but man alive, she grates. I can't stand when people tell grown adults how to feel or what to enjoy. We're not three and need to be told go try that slide Daddy will catch you you'll love it! Geez, let people decide for themselves! It wouldn't be a strange thing to not like swinging from some hammock doing yoga. Many people don't like hammocks, still more hate yoga. So you're combining two things together that many people hate even independent of each other. And some people who may love yoga may not like hammocks, and some people who are fine with hammocks might not like yoga. So that's a whole lot of people who legitimately wouldn't like this activity. This is turning into an LSAT problem. Anyway, I can't see myself liking this yoga thing in a million years, and for all Kate's faults, there is nothing wrong with her for not liking this either.

Mady says they're old enough to take care of themselves now so Kate can afford to break some legs during this exercise. I think Mady thinks everything she says is funny and clever. Helen Keller says something! And it was something to make fun of Kate. She laughs and says Kate would be one foot off the ground during this swinging yoga thing. Heh.

The millennial yoga instructor talks like she has a giant jawbreaker in her mouth. Weird.

They're mostly swinging stupidly in the stupid aerial fabrics and Kate's right again, which I hate, she was afraid to look stupid and her fears were realized, because they look just stupid.

Kate acknowledges she has a hard time following instructions. That's true, we've seen that. She doesn't listen, or questions the instructions, or listens but then does her own thing. That's the narcissism I think, thinking that you know better than someone who took the time to lay out instructions for you and probably knows far more about the subject than you ever will, and also probably is pretty knowledgable about your safety and what you should do and not do to remain safe. Also, just saying, a lot of people on the spectrum report that verbal instructions are very difficult for them, unless you give them the instructions one at a time and wait for them to fully complete one instruction before ever going on to the next instruction. I mean, if the shoe fits.

A producer asks Rachel if Kate was jealous the instructor was spending so much time with her. Rachel makes a so cute, so innocent, so funny face, teehee! You're so cute Rachel! Actually just kidding you're not cute at all you're repugnant.

Mady says Kate never relaxes. Yes, we're aware. The instructor finally gets Kate into a nice cocoon in the fabric and she softly swings and closes her eyes and seems to enjoy it. That's nice I guess, but I still prefer my tempur-pedic. No maneuvering or yoga required at all, you just plop onto it and you're done.

Rachel offers Kate some lame affirmations like she's going to relax now, and come out of her cocoon as a butterfly ready and able to try new things. Does Rachel think we are in kindergarten here? Sounds like something Miss Ryan said to us in my class when I was five. And I thought it was stupid even then. This is a grown ass woman, Rachel, who is swinging from a fabric hammock, she is not a cocoon and she is not a butterfly. Grow up.

Mady explains that if Kate wants to relax at home she'll make her bed or lay with the dogs, but she doesn't relax much because she's so busy. This is the second time in two episodes Mady has insisted Kate is busy. What is she so darn busy with? Nobody ever offers any specifics, and I guess the producer is too occupied with Jeremiah's muscles to probe any deeper into this lie.

Rachel surmises that because she got Kate to open up to this yoga activity, she hopes Kate can be open to a relationship. At least this dumb Rachel chick is finally starting to understand how closed off Kate is to human emotion and that this is the crux of most of her issues, but I really don't think one overpriced trendy yoga class is going to have any impact. Now a psychologist and some medication might.

I guess now Jeremiah and Kate will have dinner, and I still want to know what all he did with himself when he was so rudely ditched for the yoga class.

Something feels a little bit ick to me about Rachel now treating this date as if it's a chance for Kate to just "practice" dating, like flirting and opening up. Excuse me, but Jeremiah is a real person. Sure he's probably an actor, but from what I can tell, he's making a sincere effort to be open to Kate as a real possible dating prospect. Same for the two others guys before her, who really seemed game to give this a go for real. If you want to just "practice" dating, then have a true actor come in and help Kate role play, everyone knowing they're not really having a date. Don't do it on real people!

Kate pulls up in her mediocre taxi again, baw-haha. She's wearing a purple leopard print cocktail dress. Rachel calls her a hot mama.

It's kind of sad that Rachel's pep talk before the date consists of reminding Kate to ask questions, smile and enjoy herself. Well, Rachel's not wrong, Kate really does need help with the basics, like just be a normal person on a date for starters. Good grief.

Kate has come up with a nickname for Rachel, "date mom" because she is acting like a mom giving advice. That's an overtly kind name. My less than nice name for Rachel is "repugnant doofus."

Jeremiah meets Kate at dinner and genuinely seems to think she's stunning. Men really do think with their ... eyes .... don't they? I think those of us who have been following Kate for all these years and know what a nasty heart she has are so disenchanted with Kate we could never see her as beautiful again even if she were to morph into Ursula Andress.

Kate tells Rachel she can leave now and she'll call her if she needs her to open her juice box. Was that snark I detected from Kate? I kind of resent the fact that I'm cheering for Kate against dumb Rachel. There should be no scenario allowed where anyone roots for Kate, but here we are.

Jeremiah really seems blown away at how breathtaking Kate is. I mean, she looks pretty I guess, but good heavens you would think the guy just happened upon the Dolomites during a misty pink sunrise, dew clinging to his holey shirt. Calm down, buddy. Kate didn't like these compliments, they were excessive. Kate is right, it's excessive.

Jeremiah is pretty vague about working odd jobs in the city from time to time. He's totally an actor, why won't they just say it? He has five kids ages two to 18. With how many mothers, Jeremiah? I think that's a fair question. No way in hell Kate wants to take on a kid in diapers, and sure enough, she doesn't.

By the way it's no secret Cara is getting a lot of attention for being so quiet on her couch interviews with various speculation why, but in case you're worried if all the remarks about this bothers her, don't be. Cara says blankly that five kids is a lot of kids. She then looks at Mady with a giggle and says "You like my input on that one?" Heh. Mady chuckles and says she's really stepping it up here. They both smile and laugh. For whatever Cara's reasons for being a woman of little words, she's clearly comfortable with it, and takes any teasing even from her own sister in stride. And hey, Cara, if you happen to mosey on over here anytime, talking less and listening more is a virtue.

Rachel, why on God's green earth would you pick this guy for Kate? Nice doesn't cut it! (Okay I get that Rachel didn't really pick him and she's just an actor herself, but since the show is acting like she found these guys for Kate, I'm just rolling with it.)

The twins jump in to say NO KIDS. So, if the girls said no kids, and Kate doesn't really seem to want someone with kids either at least not young ones, how come her first three dates have kids? Are they trying to waste everyone's time, or does it just come naturally?

Mady has quite a convoluted explanation for not wanting kids, because she doesn't want an older kid to reach a milestone before she does. That sounds selfish and spoiled, I'm just saying. She wants her mom to find love but only on her strict and unreasonable terms. That is selfish and spoiled and if it were anyone other than Kate I would want that girl to shape up and stop making her mother's happiness for the rest of her life all about her.

Is Jeremiah straight from the pages of a romance novel? He loves that Kate has kids because if they blend their two big beautiful families together, they'll have one thing in common: Kate. Geez, I'd hate for that to be the one thing anyone has in common.

I think Kate is proud of the fact that the kids (allegedly) fight about who will take care of her when she is old. Jeremiah, who is normal, looks confused and says um, wouldn't that be where a partner comes in? Correct Jeremiah. While it's wonderful when kids are willing and able to help out an aging parent, one should not burden them at this age with the responsibility of thinking it all falls to them when a parent gets old. Kate should be reassuring her kids if they even say such things that they need not worry about her, she will figure things out, and she will be sure she is well taken care of as she ages so that the time they spend together can be mostly just nice family time and not solely focused on "taking care of her." Parentification. It's not cool, and Jeremiah to his credit spotted it right off.

Kate lets her guard down ever so slightly to talk about the incredible love she witnessed between her grandparents, and it's the reason she believes in love. Jeremiah had a similar experience with his grandparents. While I feel the same about my grandparents, this seems a little mean to her own parents to imply on camera the only real love she ever saw certainly wasn't her parents. Sheesh. She also loves to rewrite the narrative about Jon as if it was a hot mess from the start, when it actuality she has made it clear many times before the divorce she was deeply in love with Jon when they married and perhaps for years afterward. Just because she fell out of love with him years later doesn't erase what happened before, as much as she loves to use her little swiffer there.

The date ends with a kiss on the cheek Kate mercifully doesn't try to dodge, and Jeremiah over there is still swooning over Kate.

Kate, however, is stuck on the diapers. No way, no how, is basically her comment.

This almost makes me legitimately mad, because poor sweet Jeremiah here actually thinks he has a chance with Kate, and even though it was just one date, he seems so sensitive that it's probably going to hurt him at least a little when Kate never calls again. This is just wrong. Look, Kate doesn't want a guy with kids, as hypocritical as that is, that's her stance and she's entitled to it. Therefore, none of these dates of hers should have kids, Rachel. Or at most perhaps they could have one or two adult kids, that I think Kate would be okay with. You shouldn't conduct a social experiment like this on real people, it's not right. There's a reason when you go on a dating site that they ask you basic questions like your religion, do you want kids, your age parameters, etc., and then they ask you how important all of these parameters are to you. Because if it's a deal breaker for you, say so, and they won't set you up with someone not suitable to begin with and then everyone just ends up hurt.

Dense Rachel says she needs to figure out is this kids thing a deal breaker for Kate? She claims Kate goes back and forth. Oh my God, it's so blatantly obvious she doesn't want a guy with kids, Rachel, I don't care how much she vacillates, she doesn't want it. Wake up. The only remote possibility I can think of why Kate might be a little indecisive about this is she'll take five kids if you have like 5 million dollars to back it up. Then she could just hire a full time live in nanny for everyone and be done with it. But I still think she would prefer you just don't have kids in the first place.

And for her second date of the episode, Rosario, the Italian Aleksandr Petrovsky. That was one of Carrie Bradshaw's worst relationships. He beat her, and she left everyone who cared about her most to go live with him in Paris, but man alive, he could be so sexy.

Wait a second, what happened to Rachel trying to figure out if Kate wants to date a guy with kids? That dumb Rachel needs to finish her thought, especially ones so important!

They woosh down from New York to Rosario in what feels like a supersonic jet. He's 50, an opera singer, divorced of course! And super sexy! He has striking Caribbean blue eyes. Uh oh uh oh uh oh. He looks short. Shorter than Kate! Shit, he's done.

Rosario gives her a tour of some stage. They don't really explain where this is or what is going on, but it doesn't matter, because Rosario and his accent are just hot.

I do highly recommend everyone hear an opera singer in person at some point in your life, even if you think it's going to be boring. I saw Renee Fleming do a solo performance in Los Angeles with just her and a piano, and it was stunning. There is no sound system in the world that can do justice to the power and richness of her voice. Renee Fleming and I are many years apart in age but shared the same music teacher at one point, she when he was just starting out, and me a few years shy of his retirement. It was a special night to be in the presence of one of his most successful students.

I quickly found a lot about Rosario by googling, and he's a legit opera singer. But check this out, according to his own web site he resides in San Diegopeople. Oh yeah, this relationship could work. Eye roll. The internet also says he does the occasional acting job including reality shows. Heh, sounds like he's another guy doing a day job but really wants to be an actor. Yeesh.

Rosario takes her around the orchestra pit where she proceeds to tap on drums and things like a freaking eight-year-old. Rosario is chill about this when he has every right to tell her to not do that, but oh my god, I hope none of the musicians are watching because I'm sure they'd be having a meltdown.

Kate asks Rosario what operas he has done. Oh, does she know operas? Lol, her blank expression is actually a bit funny when he starts rattling off a bunch of Italian names most people wouldn't know. I mean, good for her asking questions, but it's silly to ask a question where you know you won't understand the answer. How about, what was your favorite opera you've done and what was it about?

You know I had an idea, if Rachel were a competent coach, this all might work so much better if there were a little earpiece in Kate's ear for Rachel to give her tips and instruction in real time as the date goes on. Regrouping with her afterward to say a few useless things that are probably too late to fix anyway doesn't seem to be helpful to Kate.

The girls crack up talking about how Kate can't sing. Is there something kind of strange about teens made to sit there and talk incessantly about their mother? I mean who at that age even pays attention to their mother?

Rosario touches Kate's back as her leads her to the stage and Kate seems fine with it. Rachel is creepily spying on all this and I feel like she's giving herself all the credit for Kate not recoiling when Rosario touches her, I can see it on her face. Touching makes people more comfortable and he does it because that's the Italian way, Rosario explains. Uh-oh, I don't think poor Rosario paid much attention to the MeToo movement. Eek!

Here's his instagram by the way. A whole lot of muscular selfies, not a whole lot of substance. But hey at least the guy seems to be living a reasonably full life. Lots of traveling and working, doesn't look like a whole lot of friends or significant others. Such can be life in the entertainment business.

Rosario starts singing a short version of O sole mio to her, and he's amazing. Love it. Kate to her credit seems to genuinely enjoy it. She's got a big smile on her face and is hanging on every note, clapping enthusiastically at the end. Good for her, I'm glad something broke through to her. O sole mio's lyrics are really nice, it's about a man who is admiring the beauty of nature but realizes it can't compare to the one he loves. She'll find a reason this guy is not suitable soon enough, I'm just patiently waiting for it.

Hey, there's Rachel up high spying from the Lincoln box. Gosh, I'd hate to see anything happen to her up there. Too much?
Cara does more talking than she ever has about how it would be so strange to her to be serenaded.

There's some weird editing in this episode. Rosario is rudely ditched just like Jeremiah was before, and suddenly Kate is with Cara and Mady on some random couch that doesn't look like home showing them the video of Rosario singing. The girls are not impressed because who would be impressed at their age with their mother's dating life? And all of a sudden Kate's back on the street dressed for dinner. What the heck was that little interlude and how did it fit right there?

Does Kate like this guy? There's something different about her answers this time when Rachel asks her boring questions about part one of the date. And how come she hasn't said anything about his very obvious short stature? That was such a big honking problem for her last time dating Todd, now it's a non-issue? She's certifiable.

Rachel says it's hard to help Kate because she's so guarded. No Rachel, it's hard to help Kate at all because you stink at your job and were too lazy to even do some preliminary research on this woman that would give you a little bit of context here.

They sit down to dinner and Rosario talks about how he had his own restaurant for years. Oh this guy seems like quite the do-er. That's what I call people who don't really talk about the things they want to do and instead just do them. This isn't going to work with someone more like Kate who mostly just is a talker, a person who rarely or never does the things they talk about. I just love an Italian accent, I think because it reminds me of growing up, when great aunts and uncles, their significant others, and even some cousins visiting would speak in broken English just like Rosario. When I hear the accent, I picture my Uncle Nino stirring a big pot of tomato sauce on the stove over New Year's, asking us kids to go sit down it was almost ready how many meatballs would we like? And Aunt Agnes would be putting out more plates and cutlery for the friends and family that just walked in, muttering this or that word in Italian as she worked. Thanks, Rosario for the nostalgia.

Rosario says he moved here to the USA a few years ago to San Diego. Kate doesn't say anything rational like San Diego? How the heck would this ever work? Also it wasn't a few years ago, it was ten years ago, 2009, according to his own web site. But it's okay because Rosario is a guy and they tend to overgeneralize like that, and he's really cute, so it's even more okay.

Rosario said he was visiting the USA for two weeks and then decided to just stay. Heh, how did he work that out? You usually can't just keep staying after your vacation is over, certainly not for ten years. That's called overextending your visa, lol. Maybe Kate could turn him in to her old friend Trump for ransom!

Kate bemoans that she and the kids have never been to Italy or even Europe, and you can see it in her eyes she still blames Jon for the trips getting cut off. And she's so damn stubborn she's still waiting for the show, or someone like Rosario, to pay for the trip. She won't go otherwise, I guarantee you.

I guess Rosario is another one that doesn't know who the F Kate is, because when she brings up the eight kids thing he's basically like, I'm sorry? Heh! And apparently Rosario doesn't understand the concept of multiples, because he can't work out how the kids' ages are just 14 and 18.

He follows Kate on instagram, by the way, but she can't be bothered to follow him back.

Oh, he doesn't have kids! He's looking better and better! Hey, shouldn't Kate say I gave birth to eight kids instead of I have eight kids? Because she really only "has" six kids right now.

If Kate doesn't want Rosario could I have him? He suggests they have a limoncello after dinner. I've been to Italy three times now because of my family's close roots there, and I'm headed back a fourth time next year, and the meals there are the most beautiful way to eat in the world in so many ways. But at the end of meals in many parts of Italy, they usually finish it off with a small glass of limoncello, which is like alcoholic lemonade. It's wonderfully refreshing and a great pallet cleanser. But it's not just for meals! One time we were on the last leg of a pretty long hike between two towns and around the corner who should appear but a farmer and his limoncello stand for one euro a glass. I never thought I would want a shot after a long hike, but that was the most delicious little glass of liquor I've ever had. The Italians are some of the most wonderful people in the world and if anyone ever gets a chance to date one, do it!

Rachel awkwardly swoops in at yet another bad time while they're sipping their lemoncellos and enjoying their conversation, and Kate deadpans, "do you know her?" Dang, Kate is really riding this woman, and stupid Rachel deserves every bit of it. Rachel claims they need to go because they're shutting down the place. Um, does Rachel own this restaurant? Why don't you let the people who work at the restaurant decide when to ask their customers politely to leave so they can shut down? There's other people still drinking full wine glasses in the background, butt out, Rachel!

"I don't want to interrupt," Rachel says. Well then why did you Rachel? Geez.

Yep here we go, Kate says yes he was interesting but there was no connection or attraction. Of course there wasn't, because she's in love with Steve and. doesn't. really. want. to. date. See ya, Rosario.

Rosario makes polite comments that he had fun, but I'm not getting the feeling at all he had any kind of connection with Kate either. This is good, because the three guys before her I think did feel a little something even if superficial, and they're going to be hurt when they never hear from her again.

Rosario goes off into the moonlight I guess to find his phone and friend Kate on instagram and never get a friend request back.

Haha, Kate makes fun of Rachel for saying "feeling all the feels." As she should!

Oh, man, if Kate and Rachel were friends before they won't be after Rachel sees this episode. Kate basically says she really wonders if Rachel is picking up on any of the clues Kate is leaving for her. Basically, Rachel sucks at her job is what she's saying. I concur!

Rachel says Kate needs to want to make out with someone. Ew, that's so uncouth, Rachel! And why must she anyhow? Has Rachel really been honest with herself and asked herself why are we trying to pair up Kate anyway? Kate doesn't want a boyfriend, clearly, and any boyfriend who thinks they want her won't soon enough. Just let her be her little asexual self and drink her wine in bed and wallow in her delusions of reality shows the rest of her life, what's it hurting? Except for the repugnant doofus's checkbook.

With the caveat that yes I understand this is all fake and just a money-grab Kate pushed for, I'm starting to realize there is something deeply, deeply sexist about this show. Here's Kate who actually doesn't want a man, if she's being honest with herself and others. Maybe it's because she already has Steve, maybe it's because she has Steve in her head and that's enough, or maybe it's because she's asexual. Who knows, who cares. Point is, she has made the choice she would like to do life solo, without a partner. Now sure there are times when she gets lonely, just like most people in relationships have times where they kind of would like a break from their partner if only for a day. But overall, she's content being alone.

So, if we are to believe in today's society women should be in control of their own destiny, who they are with, what gender they are with, how many kids they should have if any, what they would like to do for work, shouldn't that also include whether they are in a relationship at all? And if a modern woman makes a conscious decision to go solo, as some actually do albeit a minority, then aren't we as a society acting completely contrary to woman's lib by pushing against that with the idea they must pair up with a man?

Rachel is ramming men down Kate's throat when all the signs have shown Rachel she doesn't want it, which is deeply disrespectful of Kate's wishes as a woman for her life. (Again with the caveat, I understand  Kate seems to want to do this show and is asking for it). And that's what is so incredibly sexist about this show, the deep disrespect of a woman's obvious feelings about relationships, and the antiquated idea that Kate can't really be happy, or have someone to care for her, or not be lonely, without a suitable man.

A realer show would involve Rachel after four dates right now sitting down with Kate and saying level with me, let's talk about the fact that you don't want to date or want a man. And it's okay, Kate. That decision is fine. What's not fine is myself and others not acknowledging it or respecting it.

And if by chance Kate insists no no you're wrong I do want to be with someone, then they need to stop all this dating and send her to therapy so she can at least try to get herself in a mental state even close to being ready to being open to a partner.

Yes, I get it, that would end the show right now. Which I'm okay with.

Meanwhile, Kate says she would pick Rosario over Jeremiah (but really she would prefer neither, people). Likely that's only because Rosario is her best bet for a free trip to Europe, however remote. On the next Kate Plus Date, Rachel scrounges up a childless 40-something for Kate, and for her second date, a deaf mute, which I actually think would be perfect for Kate and Mady since they like to talk so much, they could have the whole floor with that guy. And the show doesn't say yet but we all know, neither guy will be suitable to Kate.