Wednesday, December 18, 2019

BREAKING NEWS: Kate found in contempt of court and fined for filming the children

The punishment was a $1500 fine. She also owes $25,000 in other attorney's fees to Jon (oh sweet irony). Kate must obtain Jon's consent for any future filming and provide a production schedule. The dispute stems from the "lost" College Bound episode that aired last October. The deadline for the 25k is looming quickly, it is due Dec 31.

What could happen if she doesn't pay up or follow the orders in the future? Additional fines are on the table. A judge also has authority to put her in jail.

A big thank you to Daily Mail for discovering this story earlier this year and pursuing it to its conclusion.

Monday, November 18, 2019

Jon's 11.18.19 appearance on Dr. Oz

Friday, November 8, 2019

Recap: Kate Plus Eight "College Bound": The lost episode!

Yes folks, it's a true lost Gosselin episode. What a world. And what a bizarre unfolding of events. College Bound aired October 1 and included the twins and four of the sextuplets. Shortly thereafter, Jon gave an interview saying that he never gave his authorization for the children to film (all of whom were still minors during at least some of the filming) and in fact a judge agreed with him. Jon produced some court orders from 2018 in which a judge ruled that the children cannot film. Documents from the PA Department of Labor showing the request for permits for the children was denied were also released. Because this is so interesting and frankly, juicy, I'm going to repost some of the judge's comments here:

"Based on the limited information available - and in large part because of Mother's and her counsel's repeated failure to provide further information to Father, the guardian ad litem, and the Court - the Court concluded that involvement of the children in filming is not in their best interests....Though several of the children indicate they enjoy filming, one does not and is experiencing physiological symptoms apparently brought on by the general stress of the custodial disputes, and another is in a facility undergoing treatment for mental and emotional issues tied in part to the filming and fame. It is reasonable to be concerned that one or more of the children who currently claim to enjoy filming may at some point suffer negative consequences they cannot foresee now as young teenagers. 

"As the guardian points out, even those children who do not participate in the filming may be negatively affected by the show continuing without them. Indeed, the statements of several of the children to the effect that they need filming to survive, that it is their normal way of life, and that it feels weird not to film, although apparently intended to make filming seem innocuous or positive, raise concerns in the Court's mind as to whether continued filming is healthy for these children. Having a staged second birthday is hardly the normal activity that would occur absent filming....Taken altogether, the Court was faced with limited information, failures by Mother and her counsel to provide more information, real concerns about the mental and emotional effects of filming, and no way to determine whether those concerns are offset by the financial 'benefits of filming. The Court, therefore, concluded filming was not in the children's best interests.

In short order after that, the swiffering began. Like Area 51-level swiffering. The episode disappeared from a variety of its usual platforms, including TLCgo and various on demand services, even though all other episodes of Kate Plus 8 can easily be found. It was a true cover-up. And so hilarious, because once an episode airs, it exists forever. No amount of swiffering can undue the violation of court orders. And they couldn't keep it from me to recap. Thanks to our lovely poster here Ingrid who still had her itunes copy, I was easily able to view it and recap it and document its existence here for when the courts come knocking to throw everybody in jail for this. Much like Virginia and her Santa Claus, this episode exists! No College Bound episode?! Thank God! it lives, and it lives forever. A thousand years from now, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now! 


And so we begin! Coming up on Kate Plus Four, a boring college tour, a boring summer vacation, and Kate plays victim about Collin and Hannah living with their dad and not her anymore, and burdens all the other children with this dysfunctional emotional baggage best addressed with therapists and other mental health professionals and perhaps a lobotomist. We're in for a narcissistic, parentified treat.

We start off immediately in North Carolina to begin the college tour, and I'm grateful. Remember in the olden days we would have to watch them pack and scream at each other for the first ten minutes? I certainly complained about it enough. The little kids are "obviously" going with them on the college tour trip, Kate says. I don't find that obvious at all. It's obvious to me they wouldn't go. Why do they need to go again? Mady and Cara have always been resentful of the younger kids, and their sentiments are mostly unjustified. But I think it's nice to let a college bound kid enjoy this whole process, and that includes leaving younger siblings who don't want to be there anyway at home, if you can. Kids occasionally need things just for them, and I'm not entirely convinced Kate has made as much of an effort as she should have to give each child in this family individual attention. It's things like this that only serve to deepen the twin's resentment, and I've thought for a long time that Kate creates divisions like this on purpose. Why? Because the more they all hate each other, the less likely they are to unite and gang up against their mother. The sextuplets will have their own college tours later where they will be the stars of the show, they aren't missing anything. They could stay home with family, friends, or Jon. On the several college tours I went to around the East Coast, I never once saw younger siblings there. 

Of course what probably truly happened was the Tups are only along for the filming and drama and Kate wouldn't really have taken them on such a trip under any other scenario. Prove me wrong, Kate.

In typical lazy Kate fashion, she finally got around to organizing a few college tours after Mady and Cara complained that all their friends are touring schools. I'm not surprised their friends are visiting upwards of 20 colleges. That private school is full of rich ambitious kids with rich ambitious parents who can afford trips to visit and application fees to 20 colleges, and it's all hopelessly out of Kate's league and always has been. Like what is this family even doing at that school? Such a waste. Per Jon, Collin is thriving at public school. You're a fool, Kate.

I like how the producers force Kate to address all the nonsense going on here especially with Hannah and Collin missing. Kate practically chokes out, her eyes flickering with scorn, that Hannah chose to not go on the trip and stay back with her dad and she is supportive of this decision. There is so much contempt, insincerity and scorn in her voice and in those narrow eyes I cannot imagine even the dumbest of kids would not pick up on that and feel terrible. Poor Hannah. Sorry, Hannah. Sorry your mother is such a supreme and selfish bitch.

I refuse to recap old clips, you all know this. Moving on.

All the kids young and old seem to agree the twins won't miss their siblings once they're in school. That's sad. I missed my family when I was at college and so did my friends. We all had photos of mom and dad and siblings in our dorms while still enjoying college life and not wallowing in it. They're not ten anymore and just the irritating kid brothers and sisters, and the twins are not 14 anymore but 18 and adults, and should start behaving with some respect towards others even siblings. Their contemptuous sibling relationships are a failure. On Kate's part.

Kate announces that the twins are underestimating how much they will miss the great Kate, their bless-ed mother and soulmate. Eh, I don't think so. If anything they're overestimating it.

When asked what's most exciting about all this Mady doesn't say I'm excited to meet all new friends, take challenging and interesting classes, obtain a valuable degree that will springboard me into a rewarding career. Nope, rather she says, she is excited about not living at home. Sad.

For some reason they don't show us the first big college they visit. What, UNC didn't want to be part of a reality show? Heh! We skip right to the shitty college we knew they had visited when it happened, Belmont Abbey. We knew this because there was a posting on twitter about it, and nobody here had heard of the place but when we looked it up we discovered, yowser, what a shitty, shitty school. They might as well just say "We're a really good choice for a 'safety school'" in their college application materials. Thankfully neither twin ended up going there, but what a waste of everyone's time to bother. It also makes me think they only visited because somebody knew somebody and they could get clearance to film and it was something to move the plot along, which is pathetic. Indeed this tour seems super VIP. Private, lengthy, with gift bags at the end. That's not usually how tours work. On my college tours, which were all big groups, I remember feeling a bit like I was walking around campus with a used car salesman. They were all nice schools I visited (four, in total. Not 20), but something about trying to sell something always seems to ring too good to be true. I distinctly remember too on my Ithaca College tour, a great school in its own right with too many steps, an upperclassman walked casually by us on his way somewhere and loudly whispered "Don't go here!" Personally I thought that was hilarious. The parents, not so much. Anyway, not so VIP.

The twins have got to develop much better handshakes to be taken seriously. The limp little insecure thing they got going on is embarrassing. This is the sort of real world stuff a kid serious about making it in the working world needs to learn sooner rather than later, and things a real mother, and father, could help with.

Cara's tentative plan is to do a pre-med track, but she emphasizes this could change and this is just the plan for now. Generally people who give themselves a ton of outs are insecure and will take those outs sooner rather than later. She won't make it because, much like a law track, or engineering, or anything particularly rigorous, you're either all in with medicine or you'll fail. There is no "This is the plan for now." Mady doesn't know what she wants to do, which is code for she wants a degree in Olivia Jade.

An upperclassman gives them a boring tour of the campus, which looks like a really nice high school to me. Heh, even Kate remarks it's like an extension of high school. Ouch! Dude, I wrote that in this recap, but I'd never say that on national T.V. after the school so generously gave you a private tour, one-on-one attention from the staff and permitted you to film. Kate, you're an asshat.

I never understood what people mean by "professors have an open door policy." Like, everyone has meetings and commitments they have to attend and most professors have a home life they want to get back to at the end of the day, so your door isn't always going to be open. And what professor would say I don't see students and don't do office hours and won't help you? (Within reason). In sum, bragging about your open-door professors is dumb, that's like bragging that your professors are good at teaching. One would think that good teaching and open doors should come with the territory.

Mady would like to blend in and not have everyone in her business, thus would like a big school. Can I ask a question? Why on earth aren't they looking at Admin's alma mater, Penn State? It's far enough away to not run home every weekend, it has a rigorous and highly regarded academic program in a variety of majors, it gets confused for UPenn on a regular basis giving future employers for all time to come the impression you're an ivy leaguer (I still get this, score) and it's far cheaper than any of these hoity-toity stupid private schools. Also, ain't nobody ever in your business. Nobody will care who Mady is and most won't even know who she is in the first place, if that's what Mady is implying. Leave it to this group to not pursue something so obvious and well-suited.

Mady is predictably not impressed with the dorms, which look pretty typical to me. Mady announces she's not doing the roommate thing and will apply for a single room. Ooo, does the girl realize that single rooms are extraordinarily more expensive than doubling up, and there can be long waitlists for them? Also this is where a parent needs to step in and, absent a medical condition, insist their kid double up for all the life lessons having to share everything with a roommate provides an 18-year-old including an instant friend. Do singles when you're a junior and have already had the whole roommate experience and have your group of friends set and your parents or you can justify the extra expense if it's only for a year or two. Trust us older and wiser adults, Mady, it's not a good idea freshman year. Plus, unlike when we all went to school and they mostly matched you randomly, I've heard most colleges these days do extensive roommate surveys and personality tests and match you as if matching a marriage, trying to partner you with someone you're likely to be BFFs with. I would have loved that. I liked my freshman year roommate as a person and we never fought or anything, but we just never did anything together or became friends outside of living together because we had no common interests. It's hard when one person is a night owl and one an early bird and one a study rat and the other more into the social scene and one constantly homesick and the other loving the new freedom away from home. She was from Jersey, and only befriended other girls from Jersey, which came across as a bit stuck up. I think I would have loved to be matched with some great girls I met that year Anne and Lindsay from the start. We ended up rooming junior year with another girl we liked and had so much ridiculous fun and good times it seems impossible that was really my life. College was really good freshman year, but amazing the last two years, and I wish for four amazing years for Mady and Cara.

They head to driving school. In the middle of this college tour? That's hodgepodge. The twins are 18 and need a driving lesson? Shouldn't they have been driving for near three years now? Maybe not, and I'm fascinated by millennials when it comes to driving and how they drag their feet to learn and it's become almost uncool. When I was 15 it was the end of the world if your birthday fell on a weekday and nobody could take you to the DMV until the following Saturday to get your permit. It was like you would never drive, four days to wait! Some kids whined so hard about this parents would really pull them out of school just to get it done on their birthday. No such luck for me. I think this strange resistance to getting behind the wheel is a combination of kids being guilt-tripped into thinking any car they get into is killing the planet, and uber and other rideshares just being "in" right now. It was once cool for NYC kids to have others drive them, now it's cool for everyone. The twins explain however in their case it's because Kate won't teach them to drive, and they've only gotten behind the wheel twice. That is extremely selfish and misguided of Kate. Kate didn't teach them because the twins not having some independence benefits Kate, not the twins. Of course she has some other convoluted and not credible excuse why she never taught that that I don't care to follow. On the other hand, the twins could also take some initiative here and solicit friends and family to help them learn if Kate won't or sign up for driver's ed at school. I'm betting it was a combination of the two that resulted in this. In any case, it's no hyperbole to say Kate may very well have indirectly killed them with this little stunt of hers if God forbid they ever cause a car accident due to inexperience. Now that they are 18 and out of the home, they won't have nearly as much time to practice driving with an experience driver or the opportunity. There's nobody going to drive with you at college! They lost out on a crucial learning period. You need those hours behind the wheel to learn all the ropes, get comfortable, and encounter different and challenging driving situations. Practice and classes really do benefit kids' safety, as statistics show it dramatically reduces accident rates.

Kate launches into some weird diatribe about how she can't explain road signs to other people. So like if she sees a stop sign she couldn't explain to her passenger learning to drive that stop sign means stop? She's an idiot.

The twins say something extremely interesting, in that once a week Kate drives them to the grocery store, they get out, do the shopping, and return to the car. What does Kate do while she waits, play on her phone? Wtf! Mady justifies this as they need to learn the skill of shopping to live on their own. Um, shopping is a skill? That's a stretch. I never was made to do the shopping for my family (my parents were of the belief I should be studying and they should be raising the children) and I managed to pick it up on my first try away from home. Bread. Bread aisle. Milk. Milk aisle. Cookies. Bakery aisle. Coke and gum, check! Approach cash register and swipe card. Seriously? So Kate thinks they need life lessons in doing one of the simplest of adult chores, grocery shopping (by the time Mady and Cara have to grocery shop on a regular basis it will all be online anyway), but doesn't think they need to bother to learn one of the most complex and dangerous, driving? I could slap her silly.

The quadruplets would not dare to get into a car with the twins. Well right, why would they, with the twins only driving all of twice? They're smarter than you think.

Is this really a "driving school" or is this just somebody someone on the show knew to give them a few lessons? He looks super unofficial (he's wearing a zip-up sweatshirt) and the "school" looks more like a church parking lot on a Monday. No signs or other students around or anything. This viewer is skeptical.

Mady by the way is wearing a UNC sweatshirt. I bet this is the big school they visited earlier that wouldn't allow filming. Heh! Hint to parents. Don't buy school crap for the kid before they've signed on the dotted line. You're wasting your money, because they won't go there, and won't want to wear some other school's gear once they're at their real school. $59 bucks down the drain. This family has a weird obsession with North Carolina that I think has been unduly influenced by their ties to TLC in North Carolina. It's a nice place and all but it's awfully far from PA to be dating somebody from there or going to school there or considering buying a home there as Jon and Kate once were. Impractical is the word that comes to mind.

Mady is "over" learning how to drive, she just wants to drive. What? She has driven three times! Is she really as smart and academically successful as this episode keeps saying, good enough to apply to all these great schools? Typically smart and motivated kids don't throw in the towel after three lessons of something. Not even joking, that is a sure way to land yourself in a catastrophic car accident before you hit your 20's. I hope to God they and everyone else on the road around them stay safe.

Next up, Kate bribes the younger kids to film with Go Karts, which is usually an extremely expensive activity that most kids don't get to do much if at all. But for them, they've cleared out the place. I do like how the instructor keeps calling Kate "Katie," which tells me he has no idea who she is. Heh! Almost as good as if he were to snap his fingers and say remind me your name again, ma'am?

Mommy Dearest spends all of this entire exercise trying to beat her own children, but thankfully, she sucks at this and can't do it. Why is she even on the track in the first place? Go away and let the kids enjoy this.

Kate says she thought Aaden was clueless (aw just like his dad) but then realized the boys are teaming up against her to stop her from passing. Why does she act so offended by this? She's the one being the asshat here, not them. Stay in your lane and leave them the F alone. Now something awesome happens. Kate, who was so focused on passing Aaden for some god damn reason, crashes hard into the wall trying to do it! Yes! And tweaks her back. KARMA.

They have to turn off all the cars to tend to the narcissist who caused all this in the first place. Sadly most of the kids are concerned and feel bad for Kate, because they are nice people, when Kate doesn't deserve their empathy for the accident she caused and would probably just make some snide comment at them if the same thing happened to them and not bother to stop racing to check on them.

Mady correctly says while she felt bad for TFW, "maybe she shouldn't be trying to beat her kids." There is something very profound and metaphoric about that statement. Kate is too old to beat the younger generation now but can't accept it. She is also an ass for wanting to beat them, but doesn't see it. And can't "control" them anymore by beating them, which was going to happen eventually, but she refuses to believe it. That little wall gave her the big giant slap she finally deserved and shut her down, at last.

My favorite part is the sextuplets on the couch laughing hysterically over all this, high-fiving each other about how they hurt Kate on purpose. I picture a similar scenario thirty years from now when they high five each other after dropping Kate off at the shittiest nursing home in town, declaring they picked that one on purpose. Carry on, kids.

Joel "wins" the go kart race and predictably, Leah says he must have cheated. Because Kate has taught the children that anyone who excels at something must have cheated somehow, disregarding that most people who excel at the things excel because they are focused, diligent, calm, and most importantly work hard. Qualities Kate has never had. Projection at its finest.

I thought Kate was just whining when she called herself broken and was hobbling around everywhere, but she stops by Urgent Care and actually has a cracked rib. Ha! The problem with constantly griping and exaggerating is that when it actually is serious, nobody believes you. She's lucky she got production to stop for this, since apparently Urgent Care didn't allow filming inside so there was nothing to do.

Because the expensive Go Karts weren't enough of a bribe to make up the college tour to the younger kids, they next head to the U.S. National Whitewater Center for more. It's pouring rain and cold, so a normal family would have cancelled or rescheduled this. But they're filming, so the show must go on.

They're going to do some kind of jump from a 100 foot tower, in a harness. I have no idea what this has to do with whitewater or for that matter what value this adds to one's life and well-being, but whatever.

I'm not sure why Kate is even acting like she's thinking about trying this, since no reputable organization would allow you to harness up with a cracked rib. Don't be stupid. We get to re-live Kate's pathetic jump/push off in New Zealand with the Patron Saint of Haters, Brad, and this is the one clip I'm happy to watch again.

Is this safe in the pouring rain? Doesn't seem like it. Leah and Aaden admit they're as afraid of heights as Kate. "Mother's gene," Aaden quips. I love how they all call her Mother, it's so disrespectful! And anyone who disrespects Kate is a friend of mine. Poor Aaden, let's hope that's the only gene you got from Mother.

Mady seems really scared to jump and would appreciate to just free fall backwards. The instructor explains he can't physically push her off, he can only talk her through it. Aw darn, the stupid US of A and all our no-touchy grabby liability policies (that have worked oh so well for us, or not). I like New Zealand, where Brad got to just push a bitch off a platform no questions asked. There's a whole lot of boring drama about all this, but when the first jump actually happens with Cara, I realize this is not a free fall at all but rather being lowered at a good clip by a wire. Well, that's lame. But lame as it is, none of the other kids will go, as they are too scared. And that's where a mother like Kate really does affect her kids, because she's imposed all her hang ups on them at their young ages when they should be carefree. It's not important they jump off a stupid ledge at a dumb park. But it is important they take risks in life, take initiative, and be brave. And she's shaken those values out of them with her own mental health issues. Good job.

While I appreciate that Kate doesn't give the kids who didn't jump a hard time about it, she is misguided in how proud she is of them to make their own choices about what they would like to do. She has absolutely no understanding of how 18 years of her parenting has messed them up. There is a parenting theory that suggests that one should only praise kids for things that were hard or challenging for that kid, even if the activity isn't challenging to another kid. That is because scientific studies actually show that children and even adults who are praised for things they are naturally good at don't try as hard. It wasn't hard to say no to jumping when you're scared. Nor is it wrong not to jump, but the one who did something hard and challenging and stepped out of their comfort zone was Cara.

They are suddenly walking out of the back of an absolute mansion right on a beautiful dock. Yowser, where did this come from and are they staying here? Good grief, what a VIP, unrealistic college trip. I was lucky to spend a couple nights in a Red Roof Inn on the side of the interstate when I had my great four-college tour. It was clean and provided a continental breakfast. Also, what happened to the whitewater place? Was that it? They just had Cara jump off the ledge and did nothing else there? Strange!

I think Kate shouts at Aaden no football, but I don't see Aaden or a football so I'm not sure what she's talking about. In any case, "Aaden, don't forget, no fun," quips Mady. They have Kate's number.

They ride a boat to lunch, and the kids whine that Kate is obsessed with boats. Of course she is, because boats have historically made her kids uncomfortable and made them vomit, so she likes them. She is sick like that, and someday the remaining six of them will see it.

Kate is still harping about her stupid Go Kart accident. "You tried to overtake me when you weren't ready and I was too good for you," Aaden explains to her, accurately. Exactly. This is Kate's fault for trying to do something she wasn't ready for and wasn't good enough to do. Aaden and Joel had every right to try to prevent her from passing. That's the game! I'm glad these kids don't take no shit from this woman, because they shouldn't.

Mady says all Kate has talked about is her ribs, and instead of laughing and taking the teasing in stride, Kate snaps back that they will have to do all her unpacking and chores. I half expect a kid to say that's what we always do anyway. Also, how come this family can't just joke and tease without it always taking such a sinister turn? Because Kate wasn't joking when she says they're coming home to be her personal slaves. Also, people that constantly complain about minor injuries and ailments are weak and irritating. I once broke up with somebody because they were like that. Seriously.

Mercifully, we flash forward about a year to one week before the twins depart to college. Glad we didn't have to sit through a whole year of this drivel.

Kate plans a special send-off dinner in which the family will eat crab legs at the dining room table. They have never eaten there, the kids explain, as it's the adults table. What adults? It's just Kate! I totally get that back in the day it was common to have certain areas of the house the kids just didn't use, often dining rooms and places like libraries and studies. All rooms that are fading from existence in most modern homes. But this is 2019, and I think we've evolved a bit as humans to realize that there is no point in spending all this money on a house if your family doesn't enjoy it. We had a kitchen table growing up and a dining room table because that's just how houses were, and I realize now how stupid that was, as we could have saved an inordinate amount of space by just using one table at all times.

Oh, Kate's absurd! She's making Leah shrink wrap the dining room table and chairs with industrial grade nursing home plastic. Good, the bitch should practice for when she's old and the kids hate her and she has to eat her dinner through a straw. Again, don't have anything in your house you don't really use or are afraid to mess up as that's not really living.

Also, just pointing out, this table and the chairs are garbage. Wayfair at best. Maybe Pottery Barn. If it were Restoration Hardware stuff or something, I sort of get trying so hard to keep them nice, but they're not, so Kate is merely a white trash poser pretending she knows how the rich really live. And for the record, I was a nanny for a family worth in the tens of millions, and we sat at their nice dining room table every night with just placemats. They still have that table to this day, and it's fine.

The younger kids think Kate's shrine to the twins over the mantle is creepy, like the twins are dead. Yep, it's definitely creepy. But kids, this is tough for Kate, because the four left of the younger kids are not nearly as loyal as Mady and Cara are, and are probably at high risk of defecting to Jon before high school is over. If Hannah can go, so can the rest. The twins are all Kate really has for sure, so I get it.

Leah gets in a stupid fight with Mother over icing a cake. I detest grown adults who pick stupid fights with their children, they are immature and selfish. I swear I heard Leah say, "Mother, oh God, Mother! Blood, blood!" No?

Kate spends the whole crab dinner, which turned out pretty nice, whining about the twins leaving. The twins speculate that they will get along better with Kate once they are out of the home. I wonder if Collin and Hannah thought the same thing.

Question, does Kate ever talk to the twins about anything other than how much the family will miss them when they leave? Like what classes they are interested in taking, what clubs they think they might join, their ideas for how they will manage their time on their own? My God, all she yammers about is her own selfish wants and desires, it must be exhausting for any of these kids.

Kate says she will miss Cara's high-pitched screeching over how cute the dogs are. I can picture that, I've been told my voice enters a whole other octave when I speak to my dog Sea Gordon. I mean, look at him, you would too!

A post shared by Sea Gordon (@sea.gordon) on

Hey, where are the dogs anyway? Wouldn't it be nice at this last supper to see three big fluffy dogs sitting in front of the fireplace?

After dinner they dive into cake and get cards. Thankfully the twins express gratitude for all this and avoid most snide remarks, saying that the family made them feel special. Well, that's good. Special, peaceful moments like this in this family seem sadly quite rare from what we've seen. The sextuplets got them a gift card, which is about as impersonal as it gets. As was suggested on the blog, how about a nice framed photo of the quadruplets to put on their desk in the dorm room? 

Kate robotically starts reading from her phone a speech she wrote, because someone who does not have a heart could never just speak from their heart. She reads it way too fast, like a junior in high school doing their first oral presentation in AP English class. Pathetic. Is this a eulogy or a college send-off? It's so weird! Of course Kate throws in a lightly veiled jab at Jon, choking up as she describes how difficult and painful childhood has been for the twins. I'm sure it is particularly painful to lose your entire relationship with your father when you're only 12 years old, and Kate is dreaming if she thinks the twins won't figure out how that happened sooner rather than later. Hannah and Collin did.

What's really sad about this is what could have been. If Kate would just co-parent with Jon, she could have said hey we're gonna have a send-off for the twins at the house, why don't you swing by with Hannah and Collin so we can all have dinner together? You don't have to do everything with your ex or even most things, but there's no reason you can't share an important meal like this occasionally for the sake of the kids not always have to be reminded how fractured the family is.

I finally notice the dogs, relegated to the kitchen behind a baby gate. That's stupid, they want to be with their family.

Kate then burdens the children with her emotional baggage and unresolved issues and says the reason she's been in denial about the twins leaving is because they keep having family members leave. Woman needs a dictionary because kicking your kid out of the home to go live with their father is not the same thing as "family members leaving." Kate then says, well, you're not leaving. As in leaving-leaving, she means. And Mady goes, "Well, I mean, I am leaving."

Baw! Sometimes, I really like the twins, faults and all.

On the couch, Kate talks about all the pain this has all caused her. Now imagine what it's like for a 13-year-old boy to have to live in an institution, you heifer. Or for a 14-year-old girl having to beg the judge to let her live with her father because it's hell at home. She really is the worst.

Also can Kate stop calling the children "family members who left"? They have names. Collin and Hannah. Use them, you bitch. I like how there's a glimpse of Aaden whispering to somebody and cracking up. Who knows what the kids are saying, but this is a joke to them, as it should be. The quadruplets say later on the couch all the crying was ridiculous. Yes it was.

"You're leaving for the right reasons," Kate praises the twins. Right, because children that prefer to live with their father have left for all the wrong reasons. Unbelievable. Is she for real?

And why in the world is she bringing up all this family drama crap when the twins are just trying to have a healthy transition to a very exciting time in their lives. What is wrong with her?

Glaringly missing from all this? So where the hell did the kids decide to go to college anyway? I'm not asking for specifics. Just, a college in upstate New York would be fine. But this is such weak editing, given the entire episode was about choosing colleges, they don't end up telling you what the result was at the end.  We know from social media that Mady chose Syracuse and Cara chose Fordham, both in New York and both decently far away from Kate. Both good schools. I truly wish them the best and definitely wonder how some serious time away from Kate may spark some reflection.

Kate wraps up the episode with how great the twins are in various ways (they're not that great in reality), throwing in there how much she has Mother-ed them, and you can tell Kate is implying that how good they turned out (they aren't that good) is because of her Mother-ing. She's annoying at best.

Kate? The twins turned out just okay in spite of you, not because of you, and it was nearly pure chance they didn't go the way of Hannah and Collin too during all those years.

Who knows what the future holds for more episodes about this family, but I think in light of the fiasco in the courts over this episode, there's a good chance TLC has finally decided not to ever film them again. If they do, it's not going to be for a long time, like when everyone is no longer minors. This could be my last recap! Until next time, if there is a next time.

Thursday, October 10, 2019

A judge ruled in 2018 that 'involvement of the children in filming is not in their best interests'

Jon says Kate and TLC violated Judge Rowley's order by allowing the children to be filmed for the College Bound episode last week. Documents from the Pennsylvania Department of Labor and Industry from June 2018 show they denied TLC's requested permits as a direct result of Judge Rowley's order. The children's guardian at litem also did not support filming and worried Kate may have squandered the children's money.

More of the judge's wise comments:

"Based on the limited information available - and in large part because of Mother's and her counsel's repeated failure to provide further information to Father, the guardian ad litem, and the Court - the Court concluded that involvement of the children in filming is not in their best interests....Though several of the children indicate they enjoy filming, one does not and is experiencing physiological symptoms apparently brought on by the general stress of the custodial disputes, and another is in a facility undergoing treatment for mental and emotional issues tied in part to the filming and fame. It is reasonable to be concerned that one or more of the children who currently claim to enjoy filming may at some point suffer negative consequences they cannot foresee now as young teenagers. 
"As the guardian points out, even those children who do not participate in the filming may be negatively affected by the show continuing without them. Indeed, the statements of several of the children to the effect that they need filming to survive, that it is their normal way of life, and that it feels weird not to film, although apparently intended to make filming seem innocuous or positive, raise concerns in the Court's mind as to whether continued filming is healthy for these children. Having a staged second birthday is hardly the normal activity that would occur absent filming....Taken altogether, the Court was faced with limited information, failures by Mother and her counsel to provide more information, real concerns about the mental and emotional effects of filming, and no way to determine whether those concerns are offset by the financial 'benefits of filming. The Court, therefore, concluded filming was not in the children's best interests.

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Discussion Thread: Kate Plus Eight "College Bound" 10/1/2019

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Kate Plus 8 'College Bound' sneak peek

The Kate Plus 8 (um, six? Collin and Hannah are nowhere to be found in the episode) special 'College Bound' is set to air October 1 on TLC.

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Collin's desperate pleas for help in 2017

DailyMail has published a photo of a letter Collin wrote to Jon begging Jon to rescue him from Fairmount, where he was institutionalized

John also told the publication Hannah was mentally tortured by Kate, child protective services received over 50 reports of abuse in Kate's home they investigated, and that all of the children have poor social skills he attributes to the isolation of their childhoods. Collin and Hannah now live full time with Jon.  Read more here.

Sunday, September 1, 2019

Happy 10 years to

This month marks ten years since the first full month this blog was in business. I started the blog to be a one-stop resource to chronicle the barrage of news coming out at the time about the Gosselin divorce, and to discuss the implications of that very public split on the children as well as the filming during that time. It grew into a daily gathering of ladies and even a few gentlemen who became a community, a household even, as we gathered around what came to be known as "the porch."

There have been some wild rides over that ten years. From Aunt Jodi testifying about child labor laws in the Pennsylvania House, to my hilarious, and live-on-the-blog, encounter with Kate at her book signing in Santa Monica, where I damn near got assaulted by Steve the enough lawsuits to build a small town with. We watched a little boy banished to the lowest of lows, and watched Jon lose, then gain back two of his children, including that lost little boy. There have been births, both human and furry, marriages, and at times, deaths. There have been people who suddenly departed we still worry about. There have been people who have been here since the beginning, and those that came later we welcomed.

Special thanks to the blog girls and pool boys. You know who you are, and how much time this blog takes up and the stress it sometimes causes. Your dedication has made it possible for me to have much more time for my own life, career and family, allowing me to feel fulfilled and flourishing both on the interwebs and in real life.

Now that the children are nearing adulthood and the opportunities to exploit them appear to be dwindling at last, you may be wondering where that leaves this blog. Well, we'll stay up and running as long as you want to hang out here. And if there ever comes a time that we feel it's best to lock up the screen doors and move on from our little porch, know how special this place has been to me over the past ten years, how grateful I am that you wanted to hang out here whether it was for a short time or a long time, and how appreciative I am of the incredible discussion, both intellectually stimulating and side-splitting, that has gone on here over the years.

1,123 posts. roughly 700,000 comments (a big guess based on average comments on each post--too many to count!), and hundreds of people who stopped by here over the years. Thank you to all!

Monday, August 26, 2019

Back to school for Collin and Hannah

Jon has posted some sweet back to school photos of Collin and Hannah to his Instagram. A photo of the siblings together, who are entering 9th grade, followed by each of them with Jon. Dig the jeans, Collin!

Monday, July 15, 2019

Discussion Thread: Kate Plus Date "Finale: The Champions" 7/15/2019 AND Recap: Kate Plus Date "Finale: The Champions": 'Birdbox' please kill this show

Last time on Kate Plus 8, the twins were pretty head over heels for Joey Bats, which, ew! Coming up, Rachel's baaaack, and uh-oh, she and Adam are going to compare notes. Rachel's got that look on her face all like, notes? We were supposed to be taking notes? Let me guess, Rachel was that chick in law school who was always like, hey, can I see your notes? I had to miss class today due to *insert lame reason*, can I copy your notes? Can I check my notes against yours? How about not, law school chick? How about you take your notes and I'll take my notes and I'll see you at the final exam?

I think I've made it clear which of these two matchmakers are any good, didn't half-ass it and instead did their job. They both want to be on T.V., but Adam is the only one here actually trying to earn his spot on the tube. Naturally I'm disappointed that Rachel, a former lawyer, was so terrible. Oh, well.

Kate is soooo changed since she started the process, blah blah. The editors make a really hard cut to her rambling about meeting some really nice guys, which tells me she carried on for quite awhile about how changed she is and it was boring and pointless to anything so it got cut. She's nothing if not predictable, and her "after such-and-such experience I'm a whole new Kate" thing is a dumb talking point she's been trying to sell for years now, and poorly.

Adam is a pretty cool guy, happily inviting Rachel to sit down with him and talk about the process. He lays out what we already know, that Rachel started the process and then he took over.

"Bless you," Rachel quips. Baw! I just snorted my coke.

Rachel says Kate was difficult because she would really resist attempts to help her, but Rachel excuses this immature and unacceptable behavior as "so many times she's gotten hurt." Rachel, STFU!!!

So wait a second, Kate has spent all six of these episodes pretty much insisting that Jon and maybe a college boyfriend are her only two relationships in her lifetime. She practically denies even knowing Jeff Prescott. So we've got a grand total of two relationships that in actuality failed because of her, the last one of which was over a whopping ten years ago, and that's scarred her permanently from ever finding love again? This is really not the reason Kate resists relationships at all, but Rachel is either too dense or too polite to dive any deeper than this cliche.

Adam, who has a much better grasp of the situation here, says he has been trying to understand what is the problem here. Although unfortunately Adam disappoints me in not really getting to the real problem (she's mentally ill, a narcissist, Adam!) I think he's right in trying to get Kate to just put aside this "thing," which I think Adam has been persuaded relates to some divorce from ages ago (it's not), and just relax and flirt on dates. That's as good advice as any I guess.

Inexplicably, Mady says it actually doesn't matter if they like Kate's new man or not because she'll only be seeing him on Thanksgiving and Christmas anyway. Heh. That's what I've been saying all along here. What is the point of the twins all up in her business about who she dates when they're about to go off to college and see Kate as little as possible.

It's so terribly awkward to watch Rachel have to sit down with Kate and Adam and get filled in on how things went with Adam. Kate suddenly tries to claim she actually wanted two matchmakers all along because she wanted a male and female perspective. Eh, no, that's not how that went down, how it went down was Rachel was fired. She re-writes history when she doesn't even need to, it's fascinating. I mean we all saw Rachel get her ass fired two episodes ago so what is she trying to do here?

Mady and Cara after having been through what they've been through know how important this decision is, Kate explains. BITCH! Also, it's a second date for God sakes. You're not deciding who to spend the rest of your life with. It's who you will spend the next three hours with. Good grief, the dramatics. Even Adam and Rachel say they need to take the pressure off Kate to find a forever man and just have her focus on having a good date. They're absolutely right, Kate is acting like a 21 year old Mormon who feels like a spinster and must get married now -clap RIGHT NOW -clap clap-. She can't even get through one date without things falling apart, I have no idea why she's talking about forever right now as if she is in any way capable of getting someone to marry her in the mental state she's in right now.

There's so much to say about all of Kate's dumb comments throughout these episodes there's just not much room to recap much else but I should mention the amateur low budget production here. They do a cutsey montage of "NYC" with sped up shots of the subway and people walking. I guess this is to establish we are in NYC. It's so college level and looks like they pulled shots from somebody else's shoot for some other show at TLC and spliced them into theirs.

We have one of those incredibly long conversations about what everyone acts like is a huge coincidence that Mady and Cara picked the same top two guys as Kate. The twins only met three guys, so it's not a big shock that they might pick the same two Kate wants. There's only three to pick from in the first place! And I like the long drawn out reveal Kate does of her top two to Adam and Rachel, leading off with she picked one top from each of them. Since Joey Bats was the only guy of Adam's the twins' met, Adam surely must know immediately she picked Joey. But Kate is acting like this is a big reveal when Adam already knows by process of elimination. It would be more interesting to watch this woman narrow down her order at Starbucks. Let's see, flat white or iced coffee? Or maybe I'll get a croissant!

So her top two are, no big surprise, Tax Shelter Jeff and Joey Bats. As far as I'm concerned, Tax Shelter Jeff is the only guy in this entire pool worth going out with again. While I liked Refined Jeff, he was a little bit too cagey for my tastes, asked certain questions that in my experience are red flags, and I was getting a strong vibe this was a phone-it-in favor to a friend and not a sincere attempt to get to know someone. Tax shelter Jeff was sincerely giving this a real go with Kate, cameras and all. As for Joey Bats, he acts all of 22 years old and his lifestyle, running a restaurant and spending the rest of his time in bars, is in no way compatible with Kate's, spending 18 hours a day in front of the T.V. in rural Pennsylvania with her wine. Great guy, but not right for Kate. It's a waste of time to go out with him again.

Mercifully for us all, Adam and Rachel say they're just going to watch these dates and not intervene. Thank God, because if I have to again watch Rachel prematurely shut down a date in a crowded restaurant with lies about the place closing down for the night time to go, I'm going to lose it. They are taking off the training wheels, they say. Yeah I've heard that one before, from my dad, and I ended up with a bloody nose and two skinned knees.

Kate actually takes a moment to look them both in the eyes and say thank you "again." Again? I didn't hear a thank you the first time. I heard a whole bunch of entitlement and no gratitude at all. She practically left Rachel standing on a busy street corner by herself in NYC when she fired her ass. But good for her pausing to say thank you at last. People in general do not get enough thank you's for the hard work they do and a whole lot of people have worked hard on Kate's behalf over the years and never gotten one.

We launch right into her second date with Joey, who apparently decided not to shower or shave this morning. He's not one of those guys that looks rugged and handsome with a five-clock shadow. Rather he looks like a grad student who just pulled an all nighter.

Proving he's more hipster than I originally bargained for, Joey leads Kate through some really sketch basements and fire escapes to a "speakeasy". I would feel embarrassed to be over 40 and at a speakeasy. Actually over 30. I'm just being honest. I don't understand the point of speakeasies in the first place. They were very trendy in L.A. about five years back, and to me it was just another place with a bunch of people lined up who aren't being let in. That is a waste of time and humiliating. Plus hiding your business when you don't really have to almost feels disrespectful to history. During prohibition completely appropriate bars and restaurants had to go underground and blood was shed in various ways over something as stupid as being able to sell and consume a simple drink. I don't know, it's not funny to me, it was a dark time in our history, with some estimates attributing 10,000 deaths to that one little decision about alcohol. And if ever someone wants to know why one's heart and good intentions never should be the basis of political decisions rather than facts, figures, sociology, psychology, logic and reason, prohibition was it. It's not okay 10,000 people were killed just because your intentions were good, that your heart was in the right place, that you were trying to do "what's right" without thinking about the unintended consequences of what just felt so "right." People should read more history when they spout off what they think is so morally right these days and consider factoring in facts, figures, sociology, psychology, logic and reason because unintended consequences are a thing.

Joey is one of those people who really wants to be and gets a lot of joy from immersing himself in something eclectic like this with their low ceilings and bad chandeliers and dowdy furniture and wine in coffee cups, and then finds himself shocked and confused when other people are like, the hell? Kate can't get past drinking wine out of coffee cups or the smell. Ew, it does look like it smells. Rachel says the smell was like they just cleaned up a murder scene. Ugh, I've smelled exactly that in various places before and it's terribly unappetizing. Like if you have to bleach your establishment from top to bottom before bringing out some jello, what exactly are you trying to wash away?

Joey mentions seeing quite some rowdy bar fights in this place, and note to men, women don't care about all the bar fights you've seen. I hate sharing the same views as Kate, but she said when Joey mentioned those bar fights she paused. Yeah, I'm pausing too. I'm not being judgmental about the bar thing because whatever, as long as you're not an alcoholic I don't care if you want to hang out at the bar all night every night. In Ireland bars are like community centers and people do go every night and they drink and they eat and mostly they socialize and even bring their kids; many American bars are like this too. And it's fine. I just don't see a person like Joey Bats compatible with someone who is not as into the bar scene or not at all into it. When I was doing the dating thing I made a point to be upfront about how little desire I had to spend a moment of time in bars, even cool speakeasies, as I had quickly learned it's really important to some people and that it's really best to find somebody on the same page about the bar thing. This is a big reason Kate should not waste a moment more of Joey's time because unless Joey is feeling like he's at the end of feeling like he wants to be in a bar all the time, they simply aren't compatible. This one reason is enough, but of course there are other reasons she's not right for Joey/Joey's not right for her that are obvious, like he's fun and has a personality and she's a waste of space.

Joey admits he's pretty not-OCD, go with the flow wing it kind of guy and uh-oh, I fear Kate will think this nice, chill guy to be too much like another nice, chill guy she used to be married to and inexplicably discarded. And then Kate makes a comment that made the rounds on this blog as one of the most outrageous out of her mouth, in that she dealt with a man having no plans in life before and she's done with that. Gaaa, she's such an asshole! Hey, Kate, just because someone disagrees with your plan to exploit your children on T.V. forever and ever doesn't mean they have "no plan." Not the same thing. And what on earth gives her the idea that Joey Bats might not have a plan in life just because he's laid back? For f sake, you don't develop your own successful restaurant from scratch that has locations in two different states without a life plan. The truth is, incompatible as they are, that doesn't mean Joey isn't a great guy for somebody, a real catch who is successful, kind, funny and personable, and she should recognize Joey as a great guy for somebody and stop being so damn judgmental of him just because he's not right for her.

This is one of the rare times I've ever heard Kate talk specifically about the children in a positive way. She mentions that Cara and Leah like to cook, and that Leah is really, really good and wants her own bakery. See, this is the shit she should put on instagram and tell her fans about. It's decently interesting and really not a violation of anyone's privacy. It shows the children are individuals, with interests, and interesting in their own right. She would find herself with far more likes, if that's what she's after. She wouldn't even have to pay for them.

Kate mentions baking her fuckety-billion sweet rolls as if Joey Bats cares at all about any of this and says something about she thought of Joey Bats. Adam and Rachel are deliriously happy over this revelation, like practically clapping like seals. Like, they're excited that Kate thought of another person? Truly, that is quite a milestone, folks, they're not wrong. Heh, Adam even says I've asked her if she's thought of any of her dates afterward and she's like ewww, nope! Lol.

And while we're on the subject of Kate being an asshole, would it kill her after two entire dates to ask Joey a little bit about himself and his restaurant? Like, what made you want to open a restaurant? How did you do it? What was the most difficult part? Tell me more about Portuguese cuisine and how proud you are to bring more of it to the U.S. What do you see for its future? I don't care if you don't want to sleep with the guy, but show him a little bit of appreciation for accomplishing something meaningful with his life. He actually deserves it.

Postmortem date, Rachel is thrilled that Kate had to sit close to Joey in the speakeasy and were "almost" touching. Sounds silly to be excited about almost touching, like Almanzo Wilder practically getting a hard on over driving Laura Ingalls to her teaching job every morning and almost touching. But this is Kate, and almost touching is more progress than recoiling in horror like she usually does.

Wait, this date is not over yet? It feels so long, and so boring, and so very preordained. Like we all know they're not gonna end up together so can we not?

Now they're going to sculpt blindfolded, which actually makes sense to me as you can really focus, but of course Kate has to make all her typical disgusted and appalled faces.

Adam and Rachel get all seal clap excited again when Joey Bats puts his arm around the back of Kate's chair. He hasn't even touched her for heaven sake, but I guess someone even coming into Kate's galaxy without getting a scoff is progress. It's like Birdbox, Joey says. Joey, it's not Birdbox because unfortunately when Kate cheats and peeks there are no monsters to make this show kill itself. Don't we wish this were Birdbox!

Somebody from production pours Joey Bats and Schmoopy here huge glasses of wine. I don't know why the editors felt it was so important we see that. They're zooming in on the wine glasses even. Get 'em good and drunk, it's better TV. Shortly thereafter Joey flat out says he kept requesting more and more wine to get Kate to loosen up. Well, that's one way to do it, but kind of an ick way.

I guess more wine makes Kate want to shove clay into Joey's face but that's about all it does.

Does anyone care what the twins think about the two of them touching? Didn't think so. Mady doesn't like touching other people or being touched by other people. Well, that might happen when your mother never holds and hugs you growing up.

They finally reveal the sculptures, and Kate's looks like the elephant man and Joey's looks like the Night King and Prince Charles got together. This is the only thing about the whole date that is mildly amusing to me.

The date finally ends and Joey sounds genuinely disappointed he couldn't really get intimate with Kate when they said goodbye, and Adam gives good advice that you shouldn't wait until the end of the date to suddenly make a move. It creates too much pressure and build up. And gets awkward, might I add. So this was part Joey's fault for really timing this all wrong and the rest is Kate's fault for being a stone cold block of ice toward a really nice guy who would just like to kiss her on the lips for all his trouble. Instead he has to settle for kissing both her cheeks like he's a Real Housewife. You know that stupid kissing they're always doing as if we live in Paris, when all they really want to do is slug the bitch in front of them for whatever latest interview they gave trashing them. Any advice or thoughts of any relevance from Rachel? Nope, didn't think so.

Kate, who is so clearly on the spectrum I would stake my life on it at this point, didn't notice Joey was going in for a kiss and didn't feel a single tad emotion resembling romantic feelings at all. Kate says she's "probably not opposed" to seeing Joey again. Probably not opposed?? Gentleman, and ladies, too, if anybody ever acts like they are probably not opposed to seeing you again, you need to put your foot down and YOU not see them again. You don't deserve somebody "not opposed." You deserve much, much better. You deserve somebody interested, excited, thrilled to get to know you, can't wait to find out what happens next. Forget Kate, she's a piece of trash.

I've always said Tax Shelter Jeff was too good for Kate but guess what Joey Bats, you've also joined the upper echelon here of TOO GOOD FOR KATE! Now move yourself along from this poor choice you made to get involved with a reality show and get somebody worthy of yourself, your talents, your kindness, and the way you've done something so meaningful with your life.

We launch immediately into Tax Shelter Jeff's date, in which he's invited Kate over to his nice condo for dinner in the most adorable little town in North Carolina called Davison. Geez, even this town is too good for Kate. Their public library looks straight out of The Waltons. It's so cute. Too bad Kate don't read. I always think dinner at his or her place for a second date is a great choice. It's best to figure out if they have a giant boil on their nose in a public setting, but it's also good to see their living quarters as early in the relationship as possible, because a lot of red flags can be discovered by how somebody lives at home. It's also a chance to have a more private conversation without waiters, or some obnoxious ex-lawyer like Rachel, interrupting you.

Well I've speculated Jeff could be just a gay actor because he's so perfect. Even his house is so freaking homey and inviting, with flowers on the windowsill and some historical document framed on the wall. But turns out he's not gay after all, as we here on the blog discovered via Facebook he now is very happy with a wonderful girlfriend who is 45 and has a set of twins. Suck it, Kate. I'm also pretty sure he's not an actor; I think this was a favor to a friend in production or a dare for charity or something.

Jeff immediately pulls out the wine, which is probably wise, and Kate's already mugging for the cameras with some stupid water into wine joke that makes no sense. She's literally swinging her whole body around to look at the cameras and make this "joke." It's incredible how obnoxious she is.

Jeff owns cookbooks? Be still my heart. Between that, his love of board games, and The Princess Bride being his favorite movie, that Facebook girlfriend of his is one lucky woman. Like straight out of a romance novel lucky. They're going to cook salmon, chickpea salad and roasted cauliflower, which as far as I'm concerned is the only way to cook cauliflower worth eating. Yum.

Proving how beyond-beyond socially awkward she is, Kate in the middle of them talking about wine and pouring wine suddenly blurts out, "You were so good with my girls!" Good Lord, Kate. Good Lord! I mean try to lead into something like that at least a little. It's like it was a line she knew she wanted to say, but didn't know how or when to bring it up so she just inserted it wherever. She's so painful to watch, and I almost....almost....feel bad for her.

Blech, Mady peddles that old party line about how the new changed Kate is much more relaxed and would be just fine with a guy like Jeff taking over her domain in the kitchen. What changed Mady? Explain. Otherwise I don't believe it and I think you're brainwashed and just regurgitating whatever Kate has told you, and at your age, it's sad to be such a mouthpiece for your own mother.

I have a hunch you're a good cook, Jeff says. Jeff, your hunch is wrong.

I have no idea what Kate means when she says Jeff's home was better than she expected but you can tell he's a bachelor. How so? He looks like he has every kind of pan and kitchen utensil, nice cutting boards, the house looks lived in and homey, there's nice artwork on the walls and it's clean and nicely decorated. And he cooks with kale. I couldn't tell you whether a bachelor lives here or a yogi or a family of four. I don't get this comment at all and I find it to be rather snide. 

Jeff is touchy feely and says pretty matter of fact that Kate really didn't return it. I'm glad he doesn't seem disappointed about this because he's too good for Kate to be upset.

Kate completely overreacts to their mutual love of cilantro. She's so awkward! Goodness, you'd think they just discovered they both have a mutual passion for 19th century Russian literature. I mean it's not that uncommon to really love cilantro. You like apples too? And you like to cook dinner and eat it? Oh my God me too! Oy.

Jeff mentions her chopping skills needs some work. Heh. I take pleasure in someone who wrote a cookbook being insulted by someone who clearly is so much better in the kitchen than she is, yet never wrote a cookbook or has a need to impress anybody with their cooking.

Are Rachel and Adam in Jeff's closet? So weird. Rachel remarks that Kate is into him. I don't know how she figures that but sure.

Kate throws salt in Jeff's face, and I guess the extent of her ability to flirt involves putting stuff in guy's faces, whether it's salt or clay.

While dinner is cooking, Jeff takes her down to his wine cellar. So cool! It's gorgeous, with lovely reclaimed wood. He built it himself. Of course he did. 

Oh, I'm dying here, I love Jeff so much. He schools Kate like a boss about how little she knows about wine, calling her alleged favorite wine Malbec from Argentina "boring." Bawww! I don't know anything about wine but I'll take Jeff's word for it that's a boring wine that people who don't know anything about wine like, and guess what else is boring, Jeff? KATE! It makes me so happy you're with somebody else now because you deserve some spice in your very nice life. Jeff prefers French red wine from Bordeaux and Clos de la Roche. I think that's what he's saying, and this is without the help of the closed captioned which apparently the Roku TLCgo app doesn't have. My French is terrible but I trust him that whatever that is, that's good wine.

"When you're single and don't have kids you can just build a wine cellar," Kate remarks on the couch. The hell? Why is she being such a grade A jerk? As if a wine cellar or something similar is something only people with nothing on their plates have time to putter around with aimlessly. I mean, Jeff has been running his own company and traveling the world, it's not like he has nothing going on, nor are people without kids by default not busy or don't understand what it means to be busy. Hey, Kate, lots of people with kids, or without kids, are very busy yet still carve out time to have full and interesting lives. Just because you haven't done so yourself doesn't mean you have to make nasty comments about other people who are accomplishing things of meaning with their limited time on this earth, kids or not. For the first time it occurs to me she is jealous and resentful of anyone who has a full and interesting life, Jeff and Jon included. It doesn't matter if you have kids or don't have kids, anyone who has managed to carve out a real life for themselves, she resents. I don't know why Kate has been unable to hone in on hobbies and interests of her own. I don't know why she has nothing going on. Perhaps she is simply incapable of finding and developing interests. I get the impression the vast majority of things bore her for some reason, which is abnormal and could be a red flag there's some true depression going on here. For the few things that capture her attention, like cooking and wine, the true work involved with fleshing out that interest into anything substantial, as Jeff has, is just too overwhelming and too much work for somebody so darn lazy. Thus, we're left with a 44-year-old woman with absolutely nothing going on but eight I mean six kids and some dogs. 

Jeff actually has very similar core interests to Kate in that he likes traveling, cooking, and wine. Except Jeff really made something of those interests and Kate did not. I'm getting a pretty keen sense that this very fact is dawning on Jeff on this date, and although he seemed quite interested in Kate on the first date, this second one is rapidly going downhill as he's realizing somebody like Kate just isn't for him. I'd feel sorry for him except we know he found a great girlfriend, so this is fine. It would only be depressing if he were still looking!

And another thing, she should have been not so lazy and developed her interests for her kids and stop blaming her kids for her sad boring life. It is good for children to see their parents' lives not completely revolving around the children. And oftentimes just by virtue of the fact that kids are so exposed to their parents' interests they develop a love for such things too as they get older. In my family that was camping and fishing. We all grew up with the adults going off on camping trips two or three times a summer up to the various beautiful lakes in Canada and when we got old enough we tagged along. It instilled in me a love of nature and the outdoors and camping, the pure unadulterated quiet of the wilderness, that has continued well into my own adulthood and that I fully intend to pass down to my own family, and dog

Rachel announces uselessly that there is some great chemistry on this date. Rachel just wants her own show, which we knew, but she proved it on her instagram account with this exchange: 

You have the best smile , personality ever, you need your own show❤️πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ˜¬

@sandyfen aw thank you! From your lips to @tlc’s ears πŸ˜‚

Rachel seems like the type to mix bleach and vinegar thinking she's just made the greatest super cleaning solution for her counters, pinterest worthy. 

They at last sit down to dinner and it looks delicious. They both like it. Mady and Cara announce that Kate has been making the chickpea and cauliflower thing repeatedly at home. They rudely say they don't like it and got so sick of it. Why are they being so rude?

Tell me more about your growing up years, Jeff says. Uh-oh, here we go. Kate essentially avoids the question with a real red flag of an answer "I don't know how to describe it." If anybody says to you they don't know how to describe their childhood, run.

Jeff naturally says he had a good childhood, had great parents, but did want to get out of his small town. Jeff, who continues to have a lot of things in common with Kate, is too good for Kate. I suspect that's what it was with Kate too. It's not that her parents or childhood were necessarily bad, she was just one of those yearning to see what else was out there beyond the little town. I went through that too, but most people are able to recognize the difference between having a great family but just wanting out to see what else is out there, versus wrongly equating a very natural and common desire to want out with something defective or not good enough about her childhood. I suspect Kate is the later, and it's really disrespectful to her family who, with the exception of maybe her father, did nothing wrong in the raising of her. Based on her own words I believe she felt she deserved more trips and more money to spend in her childhood, her family did nothing wrong in not being able to afford such luxuries, and instead of understanding that and accepting it, she resents it to this day. 

Why are you still single, Kate asks. Is it just me but I think this question is flipping rude. Why is he still single? Why are you still single, Kate? Geez! What are you supposed to say to that, I'm a great catch except for the fact that I pick my toenails in front of the T.V. every night and no woman can stand that? And I feel like he already adequately explained why he's single, because the nature of his job mostly abroad and all the traveling he did made relationships difficult (and likely unfair to the woman) but now that he has decided to recently relocate to North Carolina to be near his nephews, he is able to have a stable relationship now. That is a perfectly reasonable reason why a great guy like this is single, though he won't be for long. 

Jeff politely explains, not that this is anyone's business on a second date, that he didn't want to get married in his 20's, and in his 30's he was in a three-year relationship that ended in heartbreak and so hasn't met the right one since then. That really was none of your business, Kate, but whatever.

Kate just checked her phone. Ugh. Why is your phone even out?

Jeff corrals her to the couch, sitting close to her with his arm around her. He's about to kiss her, and I feel like someone is asking me to do a polar bear swim and I'm cringing and hugging myself. I am panicking as much as Kate. Jeff moves her hair from her eyes and she acts like she just got electrocuted. This is a bit sad to watch. This is the behavior of a rape victim for goodness sake. Get some therapy, Kate, because you're a mess. 

Kate abruptly ends the date and bolts toward the door, and Jeff asks to see her again and she says sure yes. We take forever to build up to it and then Jeff suddenly grabs her face and kisses her. Ew, ew, ew.  It looks like a vacuum cleaner grabbing up Kate Gosselin. I'm horrified. At least Kate doesn't pull away and even puts her doughy hands around him.

And now folks we're to the end of this hot mess of a show and guess what, it just ends! Kate says she has stayed in contact with one of the two finalist guys, but she doesn't feel we really need to know right now. Oh, come on! I have never in the history of T.V. seen someone trolling so shamelessly for a second season. Also, Kate, you tool, you don't need to tease and play games with viewers about who or if you ended up with somebody to get a second season. It's so unnecessary, obnoxious, and frankly disrespectful to the handful of viewers who stuck this one out. "So what else is out there?" Kate remarks. Not much, Schmoopy. Now drink your lame wine and peek out from your blindfold so this show can just die Birdbox style and the whole world would be better off.