Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Suggestions for how to retool the show


A tongue-in-cheek thread for our ideas on how TLC can fix this mess! Some starters:

55 sediments (sic) from readers:

Lauren said...

Hey I know, what about a trip to Hawaii and the boys find an evil tiki at the beach and then Greg wipes out in a surfing accident and Bobby is almost crushed by a wall hanging in his hotel room and then Peter......Oh wait...wrong show

*Thinking*....Yeeeeah I'm stumped on this one.

LisaNH said...

Love your suggestions especially Ted McGiney!! Where is that guy now? I haven't seen him since Married with Children.

On a serious note, I just wanted to say what a great today was when they pulled the last miner out of the mine in Chile. I think just a few minutes a go the final rescue worker was pulled out too.

I read somewhere that the miner rescue got a billion viewers (I could be wrong on that number) but the point is that this was reality and when you think about it, these people in Chile certainly deserve a whole lot more in life than Kate. Their lives have meaning, they had family members who stayed at the mine site since August for them. If Kate were trapped in a mine, I wonder if anyone in her family would wait around for her to be rescued?

Bosom Buddy said...

*Kate in surgery (similar to the tummy-tuck episode) having the not-implants removed so she looks like the gal in the thread photo

Reality Bites said...

Rename the show EIGHT MINUS KATE and film the Gosselin kids being raised by their nannies while their mother travels to exotic locations promoting professional sunbathing as the perfect job for a mother of eight count 'em eight kids.

Administrator said...

Reality Bites said... Rename the show EIGHT MINUS KATE and film the Gosselin kids being raised by their nannies while their mother travels to exotic locations
********
Nah that's way too close to the real reality. Be more creative!

Administrator said...

Did you see the story of the Bolivian miner who was offered a job and a house in Bolivia by the government. As well as a ride on the presidential plane. He basically said he needs to think about it. He has been in Chile for four years and that's his home now. Not everyone jumps at the chance for a "financially" better life. Take a note Kate, there are other priorities for some people besides just money.

He was also given the opportunity to fly home on the presidential plane. Why who wouldn't jump at a chance like that? (suuree) Naturally he said thank you but he wants to be with the other miners right now.

These guys are inspiring.

Betsy said...

LOL..you are all so funny, can't stop laughing. Moose, Thanks for correcting my Capoot, I feel KAPUT when talking about KG. Keep up the great work Admin, this is a great blog with such funny insights.

Administrator said...

Also I got tears in my eyes when I heard the men had been fighting actually quite badly about who would come up last. They all wanted to be sure the others got out before they did. This is the reality we should be interested in and the fact that so many people did watch is indicative that people are interested in things that really matter a lot more than networks like TLC give us credit for.

Anonymous said...

why do you bring so much attention to her?

What's next? said...

TLC's version of Kid Nation. The Gosselin Eight take over. The house belongs to them, they earned it, so now it is their house, their rules.

What's next? said...

In competition with 19 Kids and Counting, Octomom Naydia Suleman and her 14 move in with Kate and the eight and the show is renamed Kate plus Eight plus Naydia plus Fourteen.

Dani said...

Kate fans are thrilled that the miners are free.
Too bad they don't care about minors.

Administrator said...

How do the sheeple explain the Bolivian miner not jumping all over the job offer and house in Bolivia? I thought everyone in that situation would jump at the chance to have something given to them on a silver platter. It's financial security! You would do it too! Or...not. Because not every darn thing is about money to everyone on this planet. This guy sounds poor in wordly goods but rich in spirit.

Dani said...

Maybe TLC can invent Kate's non-evil twin?

Dani said...

An old high school classmate of mine was planning on going to Chile to give wheelchairs to people that need them. She said she feels honored to be going at this time since all the good Karma is down there.

Linda in NS said...

Administrator said... How do the sheeple explain the Bolivian miner not jumping all over the job offer and house in Bolivia? I thought everyone in that situation would jump at the chance to have something given to them on a silver platter

Admin, there is an easy explanation for this that I am quite surprised you didn't notice. Kate said her kids deserve things on a GOLDEN platter. Silver is below her standards and would then be below her fans standards as well.

charleyg122 said...

Admin. said...
How do the sheeple explain the Bolivian miner not jumping all over the job offer and house in Bolivia? I thought everyone in that situation would jump at the chance to have something given to them on a silver platter.

$$$$$$$$

Because, dear admin, it should be a GOLDEN platter, duh!

BerksPa said...

*another idea*
Kate goes to Hawaii (again), and in an attempt to earn respect she straps on a pair of water skis and 'Jumps the Shark' (ala Fonzi on Happy Days)

Hippie Chick said...

I was awed by the miners & their rescue. It puts things in perspective, about what's important in life, & things you can let go of. Does anyone think Kate watched the news yesterday & thought; "I need to hold my kids tighter today". or "Wow, what a miracle, thank God for that rescue effort". I would like to think she did, & of course we don't know, but she is always so wrapped up in her own damn self, it probably escaped her.

As for retooling the show, how about Kate wins the Illinois lottery for 108 million, & goes on all these weird trips, to NYC, to spas, on trains, to the beach, etc...Oh wait!! She didn't have to win the lottery to do that!! She already gets to do all these great trips without winning the lottery! She gets to do whatever the hell she wants. I forgot. Silly me. (I was talking about the last season of Roseanne BTW) :)

Kate Swats Eight said...

This was posted on The Spoof this week- it ties in to this thread....

" Tuesday, 12 October 2010

Kate Gosselin Getting Vajazzled to Jazz Up Kate Plus Eight

Not one to let a few cancellation rumors get her down, Kate Gosselin has decided that in order to keep herself and her kids on top of the reality show game, she is going to have to pull out all the stops. She has just announced that in an upcoming episode, she will hop a red-eye to L.A. and visit the same upscale salon where Jennifer Love Hewitt got her love patch bejeweled and introduce a butterfly or two to her own victory garden.

"I love gardening," said Gosselin. "It is rewarding and it kills time while the kids are in school. But watching me garden, as in pulling weeds and planting flowers, that doesn't pull in ratings. I'm gonna have to up my game."

Gosselin is said to actually be looking forward to getting her vajayjay vajazzled. "Look, it will be just another thing I can use to lure a man, any man at this point, into my empty bed. Can you imagine my viewers? I mean, here they're gonna see me doing mundane things like taking the kids to the bus stop, collecting my dry cleaning, grocery shopping, but underneath it all, I'm gonna be every man's fantasy
. Now if that doesn't bring in the ratings, I don't know what will."

PatE said...

Here is an idea....Mady and Cara hire a lawyer, and boot KrazyKate and her boytoy-bodyguard out of their life and finances AND home..............I can dream.

There is NOTHING more DETESTABLE than a Bad Mother!! NOTHING>

Kate has never "been there" for her children, she passed all hands on care giving to Jon as SOON as she could. What woman does that?

Marge said...

Administrator, it's NOT a silver platter, it's a GOLDEN platter. Sheehsh! (Kate and Natalie Morales' non-interview).

MickeyMcKean said...

TLC finally decides this is just way too much drama and with the ratings tanking anyway, they pull the plug on Kate+8 so the G8 can have a private life again.

However Kate decides she does not want to live with 8 private citizens who don't want to live in a fishbowl so complete strangers can be entertained so Kate decides she is better off without the little traitors under foot all the time and moves out of the McMansion and relocates to Hollywood.

As for the house, since the kids bought it they decide to allow their father to move in to take care of them. After all he is more fun to play with anyway.

Now that Kate is out on her own and living in Hollywood, TLC decides to completely change the format of Twist of Kate - now it is a story of going from riches to rags and starting from scratch all on her own. A true single mom having to do it ALL ... without her kids having to work in order to support her anymore, how will Kate survive restarting her life while having to worry about paying child support? What will be her priorties now?

Oh, and what will she wear in this new chapter of her life?

I can't wait to tune in!

JMO

Anonymous said...

Administrator said...

How do the sheeple explain the Bolivian miner not jumping all over the job offer and house in Bolivia? I thought everyone in that situation would jump at the chance to have something given to them on a silver platter. It's financial security! You would do it too! Or...not. Because not every darn thing is about money to everyone on this planet. This guy sounds poor in wordly goods but rich in spirit.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

These guys are all going to be rich, so I don't think the Bolivian miner is making some great sacrifice by saying he'd think about the offer. Supposedly they're being offered $400,000 each for exclusive interviews, endorsement deals, book deals, etc. Apparently, they also signed legal documents while still underground indicating that they would share equally in the financial "rewards" resulting from their ordeal.

Amazing story and I hope every last one of them makes enough to never have to set foot in a mine again if they don't want to do so, but you're spinning the story to suit your purpose.

OzNTM said...

Kate could jump a shark? Oh wait...

A Pink Straight Jacket For Kate said...

God bless (and has blessed)the 33 Chilean miners!!!

Now, let's see; suggestions for re-tooling that wretched mountain of crap that is presently Kate's show...

The only thing I can think of is:

A re-tooled version of that old game show,
"Truth Or Consequences".

I would like to explain my version of the show, but it entails the use of a 2 x 4 with a rusty nail sticking out of it whenever she lies.

Too cruel and inappropriate for this blog...

Diane said...

I think Kate should hire Tony Danza to be her housekeeper/nanny. He could keep her house neat and tidy and keep all 8 kids under control and having fun learning life leasons with Tony.

Or maybe, she could hire Berta from 2 and a half men.lol.

Mickey- I like your idea of Kate leaving them with Jon. That would be my choice, too.

Administrator said...

Amazing story and I hope every last one of them makes enough to never have to set foot in a mine again if they don't want to do so, but you're spinning the story to suit your purpose.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&
There's not really much to spin. The fact that all the miners realize that money will probably come of this and that it should be split EQUALLY is a lot more than can be said of the Gosselin fiasco. The children weren't paid for the first several years, then when the Labor Dept. finally forced them to pay them, they were only given a 15% cut. Why can't Kate split her financial rewards EQUALLY with everyone she has held hostage in her own version of a mine?

My hope for the miners is that they can all live very happy and quiet lives after this, that this incident and the fame and money that is sure to follow does not change them. I think it's obvious a lot of them are quite conscious of the pitfalls of this, it shows quite amazing foresight, something Kate never had.

XYZed said...

Bring in a "new" Mady in the same way the Becky character was re-cast on Roseanne. I'm sure Mady has had her fill and would welcome the change.

IDModo said...

Retool? How about replacing the entire cast with muppets.

Does anybody remember a show from the UK called "Spitting Image" that used life sized puppets to represent the Royal Family and political figures? It was hilarious!I can see the creators of that show doing a wonderful caricature of Kate...Oops, too late, she is already a caricature of herself...

Doing this would make the show a lot less expensive for TLC.The cast could be bundled up in a suitcase and stuffed in the cargo bay of a plane.Sets could be painted backdrops.

I vote that they employ Guy Smiley to play Steve the Bodyguard!

LisaNH said...

Admin, I stayed up and watched right up until they pulled the last rescuer out of the mine and removed the pod from the thingie that was lowering it down (I'm such a technological genious LOL). My husband and I were glued to the tv all last night. We cried every time a miner was brought up.

This was a true miracle and it was heart warming. It really put into perspective what is important. I've been stressing all week about some meaningless stuff with work. After seeing what I saw last night, I'm not stressing about it anymore. It's not that important. Seeing these men reuinited with their families and making it out of that mine safe and sound is what is important.

You asked earlier if Kate even watched what was going on in Chile on the news. IMHO mostly likely not. I would probably guess that if she were interviewed today and asked about her thoughts about the daring rescue in Chile she would probably say something stupid like "Ummm, ummmm, Chile? I think I have some organic chile in my pantry. Oh I don't, umm watch umm the news. I'm, ummm too busy because, ummmm I've got 8 kids you know."

mommyinca said...

Bring in Kate's evil twin to make Kate look like less of a witch?

JurseyChic24 said...

Well ROL confirmed via an unnamed source that Kate's mom really is posting on that blog. Don't we all feel silly now! :/ (Sarcasm)

Administrator said...

Like Radaronline has never gotten it wrong before.

However like I said a few days ago, as did others, I was starting to think it was her by the simple fact that she sounds eerily just like Kate.

So assuming Radaronline's "source" is right...

No wonder Kate estranged that toxic, toxic woman. She needs to stop gabbing about her family's private matters and go get some conjoint therapy with everyone. And I don't care how evil you think your daughter-in-law is, she would be best to remember that is her grandchildren's MOTHER. Get some therapy, lady.

JurseyChic24 said...

Even funnier then the article, now if you go to that blog, all posts from Kate's mom are GONE. On that post and all the others. Dundundunduhhhhhh.... References to her posts are still there though.

JurseyChic24 said...

I think a little overzealous fans popped a brain cell getting even zealouser (LOL) and concocted this whole thing. Now it's "national" news and they may very well be busted. Hence the disappearance of all those posts.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...These guys are all going to be rich, so I don't think the Bolivian miner is making some great sacrifice by saying he'd think about the offer. Supposedly they're being offered $400,000 each for exclusive interviews, endorsement deals, book deals, etc. Apparently, they also signed legal documents while still underground indicating that they would share equally in the financial "rewards" resulting from their ordeal.

Amazing story and I hope every last one of them makes enough to never have to set foot in a mine again if they don't want to do so, but you're spinning the story to suit your purpose.


$400,000 EACH for their stories? That's over $13,000,000? I can see a few of them getting paid for their stories, but I'm a bit skeptical of that figure. Do you have a link to this article?
An update to that story is the Bolivian miner has refused the offer and will stay in Chile.

BeDoneNow said...

How about a show where all the TV Diva Snot-Queens are plopped in a house on an island with cameras installed to watch their every move 24/7?

It's what they all crave right?

Gosselin, Hilton, a few Kardashians, Lohan, some spidey person that I dont understand; all of them. No phones, no email, just lock em in a mansion and see how they manage.

Anonymous said...

Didn't Khate or someone state somewhere that she watches the news with Steve?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...These guys are all going to be rich, so I don't think the Bolivian miner is making some great sacrifice by saying he'd think about the offer. Supposedly they're being offered $400,000 each for exclusive interviews, endorsement deals, book deals, etc. Apparently, they also signed legal documents while still underground indicating that they would share equally in the financial "rewards" resulting from their ordeal.

Amazing story and I hope every last one of them makes enough to never have to set foot in a mine again if they don't want to do so, but you're spinning the story to suit your purpose.

$400,000 EACH for their stories? That's over $13,000,000? I can see a few of them getting paid for their stories, but I'm a bit skeptical of that figure. Do you have a link to this article?

**************

That's what was said on CNN last night. I have no idea if it's on their web site.

TLC ship is sinking said...

Diane said...I think Kate should hire Tony Danza to be her housekeeper/nanny. He could keep her house neat and tidy and keep all 8 kids under control and having fun learning life lessons with Tony.
----------

New show title: "Now, who's the boss?"

Love it! This needs to replace Kate Plus 8 AND Twist of Kate.

Kate, you've been saying lately how you no longer want to be in control. Here's your opportunity!

SmileyGrl752 said...

I'm gonna be every man's fantasy.

________________________________

More like every man's worst nightmare. Also, in a way it's nice to know that it is for sure Kate's mom on the other site instead of always speculating, but at the same time can't understand why she is sticking up for Kate. Kate didn't want her in her life, and her own grandkids are being horribly mistreated, yet she cares more for Kate than her grandchildren. How sad. :( Also, if Kate's mom treated Kate that way as a child, then why would Kate treat her kids the same way? A normal parent would want to make it better for their kids. Oh wait- Kate's not normal.

Moose Mania said...

Anonymous said...

Didn't Khate or someone state somewhere that she watches the news with Steve?

--------------------

I think what she said is that she checks the internet and tabloids for news about HER -- to find out what she's doing. It was a tongue-in-cheek remark. I remember Jon saying that she never reads national or international news stories or listens to news stations, and has no idea what's going on with current events.

SchmeckyGirl said...

The ROL anonymous source is probably a mod from IW. Not very reliable if you ask me. And since when is any anonymous source enough for us to believe it.

I say let her post a pic of her holding up a sign saying Mom of KT on the blog. THEN I will believe it.

Anonymous said...

TLC should just fire Kate and hire Pam Anderson, the original tool time girl. Steve, the boobyguard is already employed by TLC. He can increase his expertise by guarding Pam's bigger boobs.

Anonymous said...

All of those make me more than a bit naseous aside from maybe Oliver.


Ugh.......no more Kate and especially no more children for her. No more small hearts need to be broken by her narcassism.

Need to be Anon for now said...

Ellen just posted a few minutes ago that the children will be filming for at least one more year.

Also, Jon HAS been in some kind of contact with Paul Petersen.

I am a regular poster but feel the need to be anonymous with this post.

Need to be Anon for now said...

Ellen just posted a few minutes ago that the children will be filming for at least one more year.

Also, Jon HAS been in some kind of contact with Paul Petersen.

I am a regular poster but feel the need to be anonymous with this post.

JurseyChic24 said...

Even funnier then the article, now if you go to that blog, all posts from Kate's mom are GONE. On that post and all the others. Dundundunduhhhhhh.... References to her posts are still there though.

Administrator said...

Like Radaronline has never gotten it wrong before.

However like I said a few days ago, as did others, I was starting to think it was her by the simple fact that she sounds eerily just like Kate.

So assuming Radaronline's "source" is right...

No wonder Kate estranged that toxic, toxic woman. She needs to stop gabbing about her family's private matters and go get some conjoint therapy with everyone. And I don't care how evil you think your daughter-in-law is, she would be best to remember that is her grandchildren's MOTHER. Get some therapy, lady.

XYZed said...

Bring in a "new" Mady in the same way the Becky character was re-cast on Roseanne. I'm sure Mady has had her fill and would welcome the change.

Reality Bites said...

Rename the show EIGHT MINUS KATE and film the Gosselin kids being raised by their nannies while their mother travels to exotic locations promoting professional sunbathing as the perfect job for a mother of eight count 'em eight kids.

Lauren said...

Hey I know, what about a trip to Hawaii and the boys find an evil tiki at the beach and then Greg wipes out in a surfing accident and Bobby is almost crushed by a wall hanging in his hotel room and then Peter......Oh wait...wrong show

*Thinking*....Yeeeeah I'm stumped on this one.

Anonymous said...

Administrator said...

How do the sheeple explain the Bolivian miner not jumping all over the job offer and house in Bolivia? I thought everyone in that situation would jump at the chance to have something given to them on a silver platter. It's financial security! You would do it too! Or...not. Because not every darn thing is about money to everyone on this planet. This guy sounds poor in wordly goods but rich in spirit.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

These guys are all going to be rich, so I don't think the Bolivian miner is making some great sacrifice by saying he'd think about the offer. Supposedly they're being offered $400,000 each for exclusive interviews, endorsement deals, book deals, etc. Apparently, they also signed legal documents while still underground indicating that they would share equally in the financial "rewards" resulting from their ordeal.

Amazing story and I hope every last one of them makes enough to never have to set foot in a mine again if they don't want to do so, but you're spinning the story to suit your purpose.

Kate Swats Eight said...

This was posted on The Spoof this week- it ties in to this thread....

" Tuesday, 12 October 2010

Kate Gosselin Getting Vajazzled to Jazz Up Kate Plus Eight

Not one to let a few cancellation rumors get her down, Kate Gosselin has decided that in order to keep herself and her kids on top of the reality show game, she is going to have to pull out all the stops. She has just announced that in an upcoming episode, she will hop a red-eye to L.A. and visit the same upscale salon where Jennifer Love Hewitt got her love patch bejeweled and introduce a butterfly or two to her own victory garden.

"I love gardening," said Gosselin. "It is rewarding and it kills time while the kids are in school. But watching me garden, as in pulling weeds and planting flowers, that doesn't pull in ratings. I'm gonna have to up my game."

Gosselin is said to actually be looking forward to getting her vajayjay vajazzled. "Look, it will be just another thing I can use to lure a man, any man at this point, into my empty bed. Can you imagine my viewers? I mean, here they're gonna see me doing mundane things like taking the kids to the bus stop, collecting my dry cleaning, grocery shopping, but underneath it all, I'm gonna be every man's fantasy
. Now if that doesn't bring in the ratings, I don't know what will."