Wednesday, January 23, 2013

'Confessions of a Prairie Bitch': Alison Arngrim's brilliant and hysterical memoir on child stardom, and childhood horrors

"I've learned that people see what they want to see and believe what they want to believe."

Little House on the Prairie's Alison Arngrim takes us back to homespun bonnets and one-room schoolhouses and, um, cocaine in her 2011 memoir, a brutally honest, year by year rundown of her unreal reality growing up in Hollywood. Alison was one of the stars of the biggest family television show of the 1970's, and arguably, the most famous pint-sized, underage villain to ever grace the small screen.

Naturally, Angrim had her issues with child stardom, and she spares no gory details. She was exposed to drugs and alcohol from a young age (she was doing LSD at age eight), she worked long hours in brutal heat and uncomfortable costumes and even once fainted in the middle of a scene, and was beat up by other children and called names for playing "the bitch" on T.V. Meanwhile, she was often left alone by her absent parents (also in show business, her mother was the voice of Casper the Ghost and Gumby) to be babysat by her older brother, and says she was molested multiple times by him. She would later become an advocate for children's rights, both on and off the set. (Angrim even came out to Pennsylvania to testify at hearings about reality T.V., spearheaded by Rep. Murt. The inquisition would ultimately result in P.A. tightening its child labor laws, which go into effect this month.)

But ironically, Angrim was part of a production that was widely regarded as very protective of children, even ahead of its time. Michael Landon fiercely guarded the children on set, and the child actors have almost all grown up to be very stable and successful adults, avoiding the typical pitfalls. Coincidence? "Mary" and "Laura" continued to act into adulthood and have families. The twins who played "Carrie" quit acting and went back to high school to live normal lives, both of them riding and breeding horses. "Albert" founded a charity in Los Angeles for troubled children. "Alisha" married a real estate agent and now appears on the Real Housewives. "Willie" is a stockbroker and never acted again. "Cassandra" was a finance reporter for CNBC and now FoxNews.

Oh, and this cute little moppet of a cowboy? Remember sad orphan "James" who ended up shot by robbers?



Yeah, he's this beautiful man now:



Be still my heart!

And of course Alison Arngrim grew up and became an advocate for children, as well as a comedian, and has made a real difference for kids. Here is Arngrim's recounting of how Michael Landon guarded his child stars:


"Everyone always asks if Michael was like a father to me, if he loved me. I have no idea if he loved me, but he went one better as far as I’m concerned. He respected me. Respect is something very hard to come by for child actors. They are often treated as dumb animals or props, objects to be moved about in service of the plot or the other actors. They’re sometimes instructed to do no more than hit their mark and “act cute”. Making silly faces and repeating inane catchphrases is encouraged. In these circumstances, not much is expected of them, and “not much” is exactly what you get. I think this contributes to the rampant lack of self-respect we see so often in ex-child stars and the resulting self-destructive behavior. If you’re never asked to meet a standard, never held accountable for anything, sure, nothing’s ever your fault, but then nothing’s ever to your credit, either. It’s pretty much like you were never even there. This was never the case for any child actor in Little House on the Prairie. Or as we like to say, “Cast of Little House: no arrests, no convictions.”

And I do believe we owe that to Michael."

Lest you think the entire book is yet another tired, depressing commentary on how brutal this industry is for someone so young, Arngrim peppers the tragedies in the book with laugh-out-loud stories and antidotes from the fanciful world of Hollywood circa 1973. In particular, her first encounter with Melissa Gilbert, then a nine-year-old little firecracker (who would later go on to act in dozens of projects and eventually be elected president of SAG), goes something like this:

Gilbert

"She [Melissa Gilbert] marched right in and introduced herself and began explaining things to us, all kinds of things: who was who, who did what, how everything worked. She was filling us in, in no uncertain terms, mind you, as to the way things were around here…
Then came her stern warning, delivered with the intensity of Edward G. Robinson, in the vocal range of Shirley Temple: “And whatever you do, you watch out for that Melissa Sue Anderson. She’s very dangerous. She’s evil, and I hate her.” Now, my aunt could not sit still for this. Melissa Sue Anderson? The girl cast to play Laura’s big sister, Mary? She was a little girl, for heaven’s sake!
My aunt chided, “Oh, honey, you don’t mean that! You don’t really hate her now, do you?” “Yes, I do!” Melissa squeaked. “I hate her, and she hates me. She tried to kill me, you know. And she’ll kill you, too, if she gets the chance!” And then she ran off.
It was as if we were suddenly in the middle of a really bad prison movie with an all-midget cast. We had just been told to “watch our backs” by someone who looked like a talking Holly Hobby doll."

Melissa and Alison became best friends and have remained so ever since.

A must-read, Arngrim's memoir is widely available on Amazon.com, including for Kindle, and even many local libraries.

618 sediments (sic) from readers:

«Oldest   ‹Older   601 – 618 of 618   Newer›   Newest»
capecodmama said...

swimmermama190...That didn't take long. I was hoping Bethany's marriage would last but didn't think it would go kaput after such a short period of time. Can't believe she's writing a book about being a single mom. Come on. She has a nanny. That's not being a single mom. Somewhere Jill Zarin is saying, "I'm not surprised by this."

Kate is a twit171...Thanks.

Formerly Duped said...

Improbable Dreams said... 199

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

lol re; chain gang. I recently saw Les Miserables! ( loved it and I'm a real fan of the musical stage show if it)

I agree shoveling maybe fun for the kids -for a very short while with that long driveway- I'm sure she has 'snow boys' to attend to it.

Tucker's Mom said...

How on earth is Bethanny relatable? She's got more money than God so what does she have to offer moms who are struggling financially. And she also is not raising their daughter by herself, unless Jason moves away.

Good for Jon speaking at Temple. It's one day of missed work, big deal. I'd love to hear about his experience and wonder if he'll open up about being sued by TLC.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

iAm Wise ‏@iAmTheWiseOne
Tough times never last. Tough people do.
Retweeted by Kate Gosselin

&&&

I hate this kind of thing. There is nothing remotely tough about her life. Nothing. There never WAS anything remotely tough about her life. She has lived such a charmed, lottery-winner, lightning strikes lifestyle it's absurd.

dee3 said...

Realitytvkids.com (Administrator) said... 2

Yes! I find it fascinating that Kate's narcissism is so bad that she can't even fake it like most other narcissists seem to be able to do. In fact if I'm not mistaken most people here who have narcissists in their lives have talked about that person's ability to fake being a kind, generous, warm person in public. But when the doors close, watch out.
-----------
I just get this mental image of KG, surrounded by handlers desperately trying to help her SEE....and she's just totally unable to follow/get it. And then I see a few of them go over to the side, just to bang their own heads on the wall in frustration.
I'm sure a few HAVE attempted to help her in this way and just failed.
=======
I'm really curious to see how this BF divorce plays out on the public stage. There's not a whole lot to be too sympathetic about it...on her behalf. Nice guy, no cheating, willingly took a backseat so she could be the star, good dad, from all appearances.

I wonder if it will play out almost as badly as Kim K.'s marriage to that basketball player, K. Humphries. Most people did NOT like that...and it will also be interesting to see if this new pregnancy Kanye works well to rehabilitate her image.

From what I'm seeing, BF is taking a pretty big negative hit from this divorce....and I can see why. I recently read that she's dating a billionaire.
So far...I'm not feeling the sympathy.

Improbable Dreams said...

Thing is, she's always retweeting stuff like that. "Tough times" typically have an end point...unless you're perpetuating them for yourself somehow. Ahem.

She sees herself as Joan of Ark, always and forever the martyr who's forging into battle, waging war against foes of her own making.

Sheeple Herder said...

Admin, you've hit the nail on the head. She needs to stop acting like she has any clue what a "tough life" feels like! She irritates me to no end.

I also have been wondering if her twitter silence was some kind of test for her to see if she would be missed and talked about. And since it was no seemed to care that she was MIA she's back to playing the poor me card.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

Right. A lot of tough times ARE in your control. Her control.

Is she struggling for money? Well, go look for a job and stop spending. Having difficulties with Jon? Why don't you try a conflicting parents class or therapy to better deal with it? Interpersonal problems? Therapy and life changes again. House breaking down? Downsize. Paps bothering you? Get out of the public eye.

Most of the things she moans about are all DIRECTLY within her control. I've never seen her complain about things she can't change, like illness.

OrangeCrusher1 said...

Kate is an irritating poseur, with a heavy layer of narcissism, simply said. And what is laughable about her fans reaction to the mention of her ex appearing on a panel at a well respected university is that they have no problem with her appearances on Extra, Today or that Andy Cohen show do they? How can Jon take a day off work? How about, why can't Kate actually work? Call the university? Foolish buffoons, all of them. Kate has a cold, why call the Red Cross for disaster assistance.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

One of the few worthwhile things to come of this whole mess is awareness about children on reality T.V., other reality T.V. issues, and actual legal changes.

When has Kate ever done ANYTHING of value to contribute to public awareness about this issue and making any changes for the better? Why as a mother would she be against bringing awareness to any shenanigans that go on and to better protect children? It's not a panel on video games or something. This is IMPORTANT, and I would love to see Kate step up to the plate and make this whole thing worthwhile, too. It's sad that one of the few times either of them has ever done anything worth noting, the sheeple want to stop it.

Tucker's Mom said...

When has Kate ever done ANYTHING of value to contribute to public awareness about this issue and making any changes for the better?
*****
Instead kate admonished Jodi and Kevin's testifying at Murt's hearing, on national TV. Kate said J+K were "galavanting in NYC instead of being home with their kids". The irony, oh the irony.
They were testifying in Horsham, PA, which is about an hour away.
I still can not figure out how Kate came to the conclusion that Kevin and Jodi were making life-changing amounts of money off her kids.
The bottom line is that Kate not only didn't aid in Murt's efforts, she turned it around like she was being attacked. Boo hoo tour #356

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...


Instead kate admonished Jodi and Kevin's testifying at Murt's hearing, on national TV. Kate said J+K were "galavanting in NYC instead of being home with their kids". The irony, oh the irony.
They were testifying in Horsham, PA, which is about an hour away.

&&&

Jodi even stated on that radio show it was unpaid. It was so close to their home, they probably did the whole thing while the kids were in school.

Here's the thing. If I were Kate's publicist, I would tell her to say while I deny any allegations the children on OUR set weren't protected, I fully support protecting all children in PA from anyone who would seek to take advantage of them. Trying to block such efforts makes you look guilty. If she were doing nothing wrong, she wouldn't have to fear any law. Any law would just align with her own personal protections she's put in place already. Like trying to stop a law against stealing. Why would you stop that? Do you steal? Why wouldn't anyone support that or at least PRETEND they do?

In my opinion, that was the single biggest, dumbest PR move she ever made--to oppose it. She should have SUPPORTED it, she would have come off the hero. And there was no danger in supporting it, the law was never going to shut her down completely, and it was going to happen eventually ANYWAY, so might as well support it.

Tucker's Mom said...

Admin, as Dr. Phil says, people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Kate's acting like she's a victim just reinforced to me how fake the show was and how the kids truly were working long hours.
I still can not get over the NYC episode when they filmed in triple digit, muggy NYC heat. Those kids were exhausted but Kate wouldn't let them sleep because they wouldn't be able to get up first thing in the morning and keep on their busy filming schedule.
When she smacked her kid awake, I wanted to slap her.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

Exactly, Tucker. What exactly did Kate "oppose" about Murt's law? He didn't want to shut her down. He didn't want to pull her kids off T.V. This is what he wanted:

He wanted her kids to work reasonable hours. Kate wants her babies to work more than EIGHT HOURS A DAY? Cause that's all he asked for, just limit it to eight hours a day.

Murt wanted the kids to be able to take BREAKS. Kate doesn't want them to get a bathroom and water break?

Murt wanted to make sure they were getting proper schooling on set. Kate doesn't want her kids to be educated?

Murt wanted a set teacher on set, an extra pair of eyes to watch out for anything dangerous and to give proper schooling. Kate is against all the help she can get to help protect and educate her kids?

Murt wanted their money to be protected from greed. Kate's against protecting her children's money??????

What exactly did Kate OBJECT to about his proposals? She never said. Worst PR move ever.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

New post on Jon's thing. If anyone was able to go please post there!

Tucker's Mom said...

I think Kate did not want ANYONE to have veto power over her and she didn't want anyone who wasn't beholden to a confidentiality agreement, who could and would report any mistreatment of the kids. Such as turning the boat around when 6/7 kids are barfing and for that matter, ensuring that they were always prepared for the assigned filming activity. Dramamine, towels, ginger ale, crackers and extra clothing would have gone a long way on that fiasco. Eh, then again, they wouldn't have the Gosselin Puke Fest tagline for the show. Struck gold there.

wowser said...

If Bethanny frankel truly believes her own press about how she never wanted her daughter to be from a broke home, then she would have done ANYTHING to work on her marriage, including getting out of the limelight. Nothing she says rings true to me.

Feral Cat Lover said...

Realitytvkids.com (Administrator) said... 180
Thanks Ulyssa there is one apparently 20 minutes away, will give them a call in the morning!

**************************

Don't read here very often and just saw the feral cat discussion. Since you're in the LA area, if you haven't been able to get a trap yet, try Stray Cat Alliance: http://www.straycatalliance.org/how-we-help/programs/care-for-community-cats. They have trap depots at locations around LA. They will lend you a trap and teach you how to use it, give you tips on luring the cat into the trap, etc. You can get feral cats fixed for free at Fix Nation in Sunland: http://fixnation.org/.

If there are kittens in the picture, there are rescue groups in the area that will socialize them and adopt them out. SCA should be able to provide resources. Feral kittens can be socialized pretty easily if they are rescued at a young age. After about 3 months, it becomes more difficult but not impossible.

«Oldest ‹Older   601 – 618 of 618   Newer› Newest»