Sunday, June 30, 2019

Discussion Thread: Kate Plus Date "I Want to Break Free" 7/1/2019 AND Recap: Kate Plus Date "I Want to Break Free": "See you Tonight! :) ..... ???? R u Ok? .... Hello?"

Last time on Kate Plus 8, RACHEL FINALLY GOT FIRED. You can read all about it in my recap, though there wasn't much to tell as, inexplicably, the most dramatic and interesting thing to happen so far on this show never even happened on camera. In addition, Kate had a fantastic date with a successful family oriented guy named Jeff who was so perfect he even liked The Princess Bride, to which she was basically like, yeah, he was okay I guess. Inconceivable!

Kate's hired a new matchmaker this week, which is surely something the magic of T.V. can whip right up for you just like that, and his assessment of the situation already is infinitely better than Rachel's. You see, Kate's heart is two sizes too small, for starters. Correct!


Now is the point in the script where Mady and Cara act curious about how Kate's dates are going, so in the family room, which looks a bit dusty and drab (why on earth wouldn't you deep clean before filming?) the three sit down together to watch old clips. No matter what, no matter how, I can never get away from a damn clip show. Long-time readers of my recaps know if there is one thing I just loathe recapping, it's clips I've already recapped! My recapping pet peeve!

The girls scrutinize Stephen's clips (that's the guy Kate went on a boat ride with and then mushed together some pizza dough) and Mady points out, what's up with the white shorts? I didn't notice that before but yeah, what is up with those? The twins assess that although he has all his hair he's too hyper for Kate. Next.

Next up, Jeremiah, the "retired police officer" who saved some guy's life in the coffee shop, and is really just an actor and has five kids from basically like the span of two decades. He was weirdly enamored with Kate more than any of these other guys and God knows if I could tell you why because to quote Liz of Kentucky from Facebook again, she could freeze the nuts off a polar bear. Predictably the twins reject him for being too young and having too many kids.

Todd's up, who was a really nice guy, but pretty short. Mady says he looks like an 11th grader. Aw, poor Todd! He can't help that he looks like a cabbage patch doll and only comes up to Kate's chin. That's not his fault! Mady admits he was nice and funny, but too short says Cara. At least Mady says "Sorry, Todd." Don't be sorry, Todd's unfortunate height is the best thing that ever happened to him because he won't be going on a second date with Schmoopy here. God knew the plans he had for him.

Next, Jeff. Mady says Kate actually spoke highly of him after the date. The twins like him because he has no kids. I get that they don't want anymore kids, but if anyone was being wise here, it would behoove them to ask why a guy doesn't have kids. Because if there's any chance it's because they don't like kids, one would want to know that.

"He's too good for you," Mady says. Wait, did she just say that? Ouch! I mean, that's exactly what I said, but this is her mother! Seriously, why would Mady say something that nasty to her own mother? Kate says "I know I think so too," as if that's a totally appropriate comment for a daughter to say about their mother. I'm so confused. Are they being facetious, or do Kate and Mady honestly think Jeff is too good for Kate? Because if so, that's kind of sad. Although Jeff actually is way too good for her, so beyond out of her league I have no idea why he even gave her a second look, it is sad that anyone who wants to date him would think they're not worthy of him. I guess to all this I would say: if you are having thoughts about not being good enough for a great guy, you need to ask yourself why you think that, and work on addressing it. Whether that's therapy to improve your self-esteem, or changing how you act or the things you are doing with your life that perhaps aren't suited to a good guy, but no woman should not feel "good enough" to date a good guy.

Mady gets it right again and says she thinks Kate's into Jeff and if she's not, there's something wrong with her. Correct. Anybody want a peanut? 

Finally Andrew, the absolute dud. Ha, Mady points out another thing I did in my last recap, about what's with the full on Nike track suit Andrew was wearing just to play a casual game of squash. Heh! Perhaps Mady could take over writing the recaps here and give me a break! We love a mute man, Mady deadpans. Heh, and that's why she's my Annie Sullivan!

Mady does have a few witty remarks up her sleeve, enough for her to consider trying a creative writing class when she starts college in the fall as an undecided major. She says she would have walked out on Andrew too and said "this looks like my parent-teacher conference, bye!" Ha.

Mady ranks Jeff first, then Todd, Jeremiah, Stephan and Andrew. That's exactly how I would rank them.

Mady suggests for future dates not doctors or guys who look like gym teachers. Nobody in that pool was a doctor I don't think so not sure I get that comment. Medical sales is not a "doctor," Mady. The no gym teacher lookalikes requirement would be way too difficult for a doofus like Rachel to understand so it's a good thing that one got fired last episode.

Wait a second, what happened to Rosario? The actor, opera singer, and my Italian amor? How come he was completely left out of the conversation and not even ranked? Inconcepibile! When unexplained stuff like this happens on this show, which seems to happen a lot, I like to imagine what really happened behind the scenes. Sort of a Kate Plus Date fan fiction. And in my fan fiction Rosario was so disgusted with the whole fake process he ripped up his contract and said if they dare mention his name or show his face on this show again he'll sue them into the ground. A woman can fantasize.


Adam LoDolce is Kate's new coach, and he's mostly out there to just get famous. According to his web site he was in management consulting, whatever that is, and then in a convoluted way that reads like rather a boring story, ended up giving dating advice. Still, I have to say that I like his approach to dating, in that the secret to dating isn't to play games but rather to be confident in you and what you want and deserve. I more or less agree, as I believe you cannot have a truly successful healthy relationship until you feel successful yourself as a person independent of a man or woman. Rachel's advice seems much more shallow and usually vague, like flirt, and honor nervousness. Yeah, I don't know what that means. On his web site Adam says decidedly that he is not the coach for you if you Want an easy way to manipulate men so that you have the upper hand…Want an “easy fix” to finding Mr. Right…Are unwilling to change…Think men are the problem...

Ha, he's so not going to work for Kate. She's going to regret firing Rachel after this!

Adam doesn't even seem to offer personal consulting like Rachel does. He just offers himself up to be quoted in the media. He even calls himself a media consultant! I expected to find this guy to be a grade A douche, but I find I kind of like his brutal honesty about it all. I'm just here to tell you the truth about why you all suck at life and get a quote in the New Yorker, anybody got a problem with that? Heh.

And I think it's important to not confuse the issues. Adam may be a media whore, that's clear, but that doesn't mean his advice is incorrect.

No man wants a life with you unless you have an amazing life without him, Adam says. Wow, I could not agree more! It wasn't until I stopped focusing so much on finding the one and focused on just developing a full and interesting life on my own that a relationship worked out for me.

In the meantime I traveled to Europe, including Iceland, and chaperoned a school group in Australia for two weeks.

Admin's L.A. contingent Australia group!
I developed a serious interest in photography and took workshops and got up before dawn to take photos. I began fostering dogs, I took up hiking and backcountry backpacking and hiked a 30 mile portion of the John Muir trail, solo. Yep, solo.

Admin's last night on the trail.
I played piano in the church band.

Admin's band helping worshipers connect.
I even seriously considered fostering a child, though haven't done it just yet. All without a man. Doing all this gave me some tremendously fun hobbies but I also noticed it gave me plenty to talk about on a date and stories to tell, such that dead air couldn't possibly be a problem. And invariably dates would have something in common with one of those things and that would set him going on something. So, surprisingly, Adam is dead right about all this. Of course many dates don't work out but they would often say things like you seem really cool and even though you/I/we've decided not to pursue this further I had a really good time. I think I gave off a vibe that I was worth respecting enough to at least do me the courtesy of not ghosting me, and to this day that's never happened to me.

One thing we have all noticed over the years is that Kate seems to struggle with filling her time with similar fun and interesting things. She dabbles in this and that but never seriously commits. She's dropped some decent and productive hobbies and replaced them with cliche excuses like being too busy. Do you think a lawyer is not busy, Kate? But says RN Chaunie Brusie "If we are busy to the point of exhaustion or to a point that it’s hurting our health or we can’t find time to do anything that fulfills us, then “busyness” is a problem." Kate seems to be putting off a lot of traveling as if hoping someone else will pay for it first. She has focused a lot on hating Jon and filing lawsuits, and not on finding productive things to do with her life that don't involve inflicting turmoil on others. For someone so "busy" the evidence is she seems to do a whole lot of TV watching, wine drinking, and lounging in bed. Those things are nice and relaxing don't get me wrong, but when they start consuming the majority of your time, it's a problem. As a result, she's not a catch. She's not good enough for Jeff for this very reason. She doesn't have the same good stories to tell others do. She is not an interesting person and is wasting her life. She will be ghosted by men and repeatedly. Adam's work is cut out for him. In fact if I didn't know any better, I'd say she's depressed, and if she got help for it, she might be able to get her life back on the rails.

For some reason tonight Kate is doing that thing where it takes her a million years to make one point, and that makes recapping soooo tedious. Basically she is interested in hearing Adam's perspective as a guy in his mid-30's. Took her like three paragraphs to say just that.

Adam was scared of Kate before he met her? Heh! Better put on a jockstrap before you enter the room because she's a ballbuster, Adam.

Adam wants to know what he can do differently to help Kate, and Kate pulls out her best Heir Kate and goes into a litany tirade about how much Rachel sucks. It doesn't work for Kate to just go in and say let's have fun. She will tell you when she's having fun. She sounds like Viggo Mortensen from GI Jane. If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you. Kate does a funny malaprop calling this Pollyanna glasses. I immediately picture cute little Hayley Mills wearing Harry Potter glasses. WTF are Pollyanna glasses? The expression is rose-colored glasses, heifer. Or just, Rachel is a Pollyanna. You don't combine them both.



As much as I have questioned Rachel's competence just as much as Kate has, I find Kate's explanation of the Rachel situation to be unnecessary, rude and not very classy. Rachel is not a bad person, just bad at her job, and there is no reason to insult her so publicly like this or paint a picture that she should never work in this field again. She's something else for previously complaining about people preventing her from getting work, because one nasty review like that on such a public forum by a quasi-famous reality T.V. person could ruin a small-time career like Rachel's, so. Why can't she just say Rachel had a certain style that wasn't for me and I wish her the best? Be a grown-up.

Kate also thinks she and her situation is the most unique precious snowflake. Oh STFU.

Adam seems frightened.

I hate when the kids repeat a narrative you know Kate drilled into them. Mady explains this is hard because of everything Kate has been through. What has she been through exactly? She had a divorce like millions of other people, and it was ten years ago. Some people don't like her, and it's not like the people who don't like Meghan Markle just because. There are real concrete reasons people don't like her that are well documented and include child abuse and an incredible amount of child exploitation so bad the state of Pennsylvania had to get involved. She discarded two of her own children, that was on her, too. But to her credit Mady does say if she wants to be happy and do this dating thing she needs to suck it up. Exactly, suck it up for once and STFU. For once!

Kate explains to Adam that a lot of babysitters, family, and so on have walked away because her life is too much pressure. Oh is that why you think folks walked away, Kate?

Kate plays a whole big game about how she can't talk about this or that about the divorce but doesn't explain much why. Some of it seems to be because she won't talk about it to protect the kids (oh yeah sure), but is she implying confidentiality too? Why not just say there's a gag order still in place, and stop talking in circles? Speak plainly, anything else is annoying as F! Adam points out that while he gets it, this makes building rapport with her a lot harder. Exactly. People who song and dance around issues, whatever their reasons, are annoying to try to help. By the way I deal with gag orders all the time in court since our cases are almost always confidential, and there is no such thing as a gag order preventing someone from talking about their feelings. What they don't want you to say is Jon has custody on these days and our assets were divided this or that way. But it's unlikely anyone will have a problem with you saying "I'm frustrated with the way our custodial time was divided" or "I'm angry about the asset divisions." That's all Adam wants to know is what is bothering her so much, he doesn't need to know the boring specifics. And just my suspicion, but I bet Kate herself can't pin down what's really bothering her in any way that sounds rational. Because the real reason she won't ever say is that she hates Jon for stopping the filming. That's all it is. She doesn't care about custody, that much is clear, finances aren't bothering her, nothing else bothers her. She's just stuck in a vortex of resentment over filming that she will never, ever get over. I have always felt that had Jon not said anything about having an issue with filming and just sucked it up and gone along, Kate would to this day be going on about how much she still loves and cares for him.

Adam explains she is closed off on dates, creating a barrier where she is unwilling to share anything not perfect. Adam needs her to open up and be vulnerable.

I personally find it very obnoxious when people try to say you will never understand this or that about me. It sounds arrogant to me. As if your life and problems are so much more unique or harder than everyone else's. Kate, you don't own personal problems, and lots of people are quite capable of having plenty of empathy and understanding about your dumb and mostly stale problems without having personally experienced them.

Adam wants to know if she's been burned since Jon (he is kind enough not to point out that was ten years ago). Kate averts her eyes, again refusing to discuss her very real and lengthy relationship with Jeff Prescott. She denies ever having been in love since, and then adds, "at all." Is she implying she wasn't in love with Jon either? Oh my god she's such a tool!

Kate claims to have trust issues and her view of people changed after Jon. I firmly believe that trust issues have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with her relationship issues. As @FlimsyFlamsy said commenting on last week's episode, "I think TFW's failure at dating can be boiled down to one specific trait: she honestly doesn't care about other people, and sees them only through the lens of how they can help her."

Exactly, Kate doesn't care! It worked okay with Jon because at that age a lot of young people are inherently selfish and so you don't notice if the other person is just selfish too, and they were both sort of just acting their ages. Except Kate never grew out of being so self-absorbed as most young people will, and when Jon did grow out of it like everyone else normal, he realized, holy shit this woman actually isn't putting me or my kids first or even second or third, so I'm out.

But Kate now trying to date at 44 and the vast majority of guys are going to be well onto her and quick. She's only going to make it past a few dates with anyone before they realize she's bad news all around. It's just so extremely hard to have any kind of successful relationship, even friendships, if you only see people as a means to an end. That's why Kate has no husband, that's why she's lost two of her children, that's why things ended so badly with Jon and many other family members and friends. This entire series I have questioned whether Kate really has any desire to be with a man at all, and I think if Adam is any good, he will soon see that too and question her on it.

Adam is doing research, like watching old clips of the show, which seems to me far more research than Rachel ever bothered with. He believes Kate carries around a backpack of baggage. More like a Mack truck, but close enough. He says she has "black heart syndrome" and to change that to red she needs to be open to finding love. Kate keeps cutting Adam off when he's in the middle of saying something good, and it's annoying and very rude.

Adam's first selection for Kate is Nick, and before they can explain who Nick is, some chick from production swoops in and claims Nick has been in a car accident.

Is Nick okay? is Adam's first reaction.

Is Nick okay? is my first reaction.

Seriously, I hope Nick is okay. However, anyone who has dated for a long time knows that the "car accident" excuse is the oldest excuse in the book. You can't question it, because you'll look like an asshole if it's actually true. So it works to get the guy out of the date every time.

By Kate's own admission, her first reaction is not is Nick okay? like normal people. Her first reaction is welcome to my life. Her second reaction is, is Nick okay. Classic Kate.

Adam suggests maybe the two of them could go miniature golfing, and Kate is reluctant to do that because it feels weird to do that knowing someone just got in a car accident. I mean, I kind of agree with that one. It feels like you should just go home and maybe call Nick tomorrow to make sure he's all right and only even consider thinking of rescheduling if Nick brings it up.

Adam says this could be like a practice mock date, which is something I suggested when Rachel was in charge. Kate isn't even close to being ready for a real date, she's got to practice first. It's like Kate has gone into the Supreme Court to argue a case without first doing a whole bunch of mock arguments with your peers first to get comfortable. Not wise.

Now that they've decided to play golf Kate just wants to play golf and not talk about anything serious. Adam tries to ask her probing stuff like what she's looking for in a date and Kate gets all mad that someone is asking her to do two things at once. Adam's never seen anything like this. You clearly haven't watched much of Kate, have you Adam?

In all seriousness though, the inability to focus on more than one subject at a time is pretty common for those on the spectrum. I know we've had that conversation here many times, with some of us believing Kate is on the spectrum, others believing she is a narcissist that just happens to have some traits that look like autism, others thinking she's probably a combination of both. And after seeing these episodes so far and learning more about Kate than I ever asked to know, I'm pretty much on board with her being both. To be sure, she's a narcissist, but she's on the spectrum too even if high functioning. The aversion to touching, the inability to multitask, her extreme struggles with empathy, the difficulty with small talk that comes so easily to most of us. It's really classic autism spectrum and doesn't fit as neatly into just narcissism. It's unfortunate to have to say this though, because I always get worried perhaps those who don't know much about autism will assume this means autistic people are mean, or uncaring, or discard their children. That's not what it is. Many if not most autistic people care very deeply about people, and are able to have successful relationships and families, they just express themselves differently.

Kate, a 44-year-old woman, says she is very competitive and had to win this stupid miniature golf game. I wonder if she has any idea how nuts she sounds. Incidentally, a lot of people with autism report feelings of extreme competitiveness, and intense anger and disappointment in themselves if they lose.

With a straight face, Kate says the reason it's hard to her to describe what she wants is it's the non-tangible stuff that she wants. Well, right, Kate, most single people are looking for mostly non-tangible stuff in a partner, and like, it would be nice if you weren't an absolute toad to look at, but for most people that's just one small part of it. She says she wants integrity, honesty, tenacity and perseverance, and that height, eye color, hair color. doesn't so much matter. She's only kidding herself, as she was absolutely obsessed with Todd's short height.

Does Kate think when Rachel or Adam were asking her what she is looking for, they meant what she is physically looking for? I realize now this doofus didn't understand the question in the first place, and actually thinks they want her to describe what a date should look like as opposed to who he is as a person. Oy! Because otherwise why doesn't she just tell them I'm looking for a man with integrity, honesty, tenacity and perseverance. That way a matchmaker can seek out more people who, say, started a charity in the Dominican, for starters. She's so difficult.

Mady says well she, Mady, mostly just cares if the guys are cute. Ew, she wants her stepdad to be cute? I mean, I kind of think she's saying she does. That's a little unhealthy. She is only 17 so I remember "cute" being really important at that age. However you learn years later via Facebook the cutest guys are always the ones that got bald and fat and still live with their mothers. Isn't that funny?

Kate is 60-70 percent hopeful she will find love, and Adam snarks that that's higher than he feels, hehe. And then she hits the golf ball into the hole to which Adam says that means she'll find love. Kate reports looking forward to what's next and enjoying this process. Well I'm glad someone is.

So what happened to Nick, is he okay? They never say. But the next day, Adam takes Kate into some tiny little cleared out restaurant, sits her down and says she'll be going on two dates in a row, first with Nick. The same Nick from yesterday, I assume?

Nick is late, heh, and it's either because he is hobbling to the restaurant in a body cast from yesterday, or is full of shit. I'm gonna go with he's full of shit. Mady reports that Kate is 20 minutes late everywhere and Cara says try an hour. Since Cara is the math major, I'm going to go with her answer. Also, doesn't surprise me Kate is one of those late people because when it comes to narcissism only their time matters, not everybody else's. Hey, Kate, being late all the time is flipping rude and doesn't make you a catch or worthy of guys like Jeff Boyd or worthy of not being ghosted. And this is where I'm clear she's a narcissistic too, because she's doing the late thing because it's all about her. Most autistic people are very good about watching time, obsessing over it, and many are militant about punctuality down to the second because it appeals to their meticulous nature and comfort in routine. It's one reason why they actually can make really good employees in a lot of fields.

After 20 minutes Adam calls it, Nick has ghosted Kate. Haha, yes! Someone finally felt themselves too important to give a flying fig about Kate Gosselin. Nick is marriage material. And in my Kate Plus Date fantasy, I imagine Nick googling Kate just before the date, being horrified by what he saw, and quick whipping up a terrible story about a car accident before he ran for the hills.



Also, we all know now, the "car accident" yesterday was a big fat lie, calling it.

It's okay though because Adam has a second date lined up now, Joey Batista. He's 39, warm and handsome, and owns a restaurant in NYC called Joey Bats Cafe. I looked it up on Yelp, and it has an impressive five star rating. Looks like they specialize in Portuguese egg tarts, which look just delicious. But anyone who knows what it's like in the restaurant business knows right out of the gate dating someone in Pennsylvania is not realistic. You work too long and too hard. Joey reminds me a little of Kate's old friend Tony.

Joey actually knows of Kate, and I'm in shock, but then he qualifies it as well he knows the "bare minimum." Heh, bare minimum doesn't count, so I'm still gonna put him in the "don't have a clue who she is" pile. I'm guessing bare minimum basically means he was checking out in the grocery store with his pineapple kumbucha and his cheesy popcorn and saw her on a tabloid cover that said "Monster Mom" but never actually opened the magazine to read the article, so yeah, he knows of her.

Kate says this younger thing could be a dealbreaker, claiming that she doesn't want to look older. No, heifer, that's not what you said before. You explained before quite clearly you don't want someone younger because you don't want Jon. So I'm not going to allow you to change the story on us now.

Joey thinks Kate looks like she needs a drink so they start getting some alcohol in them. Kate demands to know why everyone is shoving drinks down her throat. Heh, just as I suspected, production is intentionally encouraging everyone to drink because that's the oldest trick in the book to encourage better reality T.V. Pathetic.

I'm near falling asleep from Kate rambling on and on to this poor guy about the marathon she ran/cheated at and all the other running she allegedly does. Or did. She admits she don't run anymore, which we all knew that. Joey is doing a great job of pretending to care. By the way, the marathon was eight years ago, so knowing that, it seems kind of silly to talk so much about it as if you just did it last fall. Folks, she's on the spectrum. She talks just like someone on the spectrum, going on and on about one topic, not letting the other person get a breath in, and way overstaying her welcome with the topic even when the other person is asleep with their eyes open. Just as I'm nodding off Adam pops in off site where he's spying on them to laugh at Kate and say this is so boring. Ha! All right, he's so much better than Rachel, it's official.


It's like whiplash following a conversation when Kate tries to lead it. First she's talking about the creepy cat wallpaper in the restaurant, and next we're hearing about Joey's restaurant. Joey suggests they walk on over to the restaurant since it's only a few blocks away, as if he just thought of this idea and it wasn't completely planned by production in advance. Well, I guess he gets points for playing along.

Everyone is horrified when who should be there at the restaurant waiting for them but Joey's mother, but Kate is the only sensible one of all people to point out that it's the family's restaurant and his mother works there, so it's not a shock she would actually be there when they visit. Joey says he's never taken a date to his restaurant before. Is that supposed to mean that Kate is so special to him? Heh. Joey's mom is going to show Kate how to make a traditional Portuguese "cookie cake." This is starting to look more like some episode of Diners, Drive-ins and Dives on The Food Network than a dating show about Kate, weird.


The cake is pretty good though, it's like this yummy yellow pudding that Joey won't tell Kate the recipe of or he'll have to kill her, then cookies, then more pudding, then cookies again. I think it's no bake but that's not really explained. I think Joey's mom could probably move on along now, but no, she's bringing out wine and instead of just pouring them some and then leaving, she pours herself a glass, too. Heh! I mean, she's cute.

Adam's like, okay Mom needs to leave now, Kate is too focused on making the cake, and they need to touch. Yes, yes, yes.

Joey's mom finally excuses herself and then she goes to talk to the cameras and claims that they should go on a second date, ha. Hey, I think I get now how Joey has heard of Kate. Mom had the TV on in the back while they were doing payroll and some show about a monster mom and her eight now six kids was on and he glanced at the TV before politely asking her if they could just turn on the game. That explains it.

Joey and Kate are awkwardly standing there in the restaurant and just chatting, but soon are running out of things to say. Before Joey gets a chance to drum his hands on the counter and ask what else is there, Adam finally interrupts this odd date. At least he apologies about it as opposed to Rachel who just appeared in front of them and claimed restaurants with plenty of people still eating in them needed to shut down.

Adam says he's glad Kate listened to him about not bringing up her baggage and negativity on this date and just kept it positive and charming. Agreed. If my recaps don't make it clear, it seems to me Kate has yammered about her divorce and other issues on near every date so far. It's so boring and you can tell the guys find it unattractive. There's no reason to delve into that stuff when you're on a first date. It just makes you seem depressing and preoccupied, and it's not classy to divulge that sort of thing to someone you actually don't know at all. Save it for when the stranger in front of you is someone you can trust your heart with.

Adam and Kate confer and Adam is like, so my feedback is you did great with being positive, but I'd suggest maybe showing that you're interested in him once in awhile. Kate makes a hilariously confused face, like, why would I do that?? Because as Flimsy said, she's not interested in any people at all, so why should she be interested?

Adam would suggest Kate think about maybe hugging the dates, and Kate explains she doesn't touch and doesn't even hug her kids. Mady tries to excuse this as well Kate cares a lot for them but doesn't hug and kiss them, but it's okay because she would do anything for them (Mady, she actually wouldn't do anything for you, and someday you'll see that). Nope, sorry, Mady, there's no excuse for not hugging your children. Even if you don't like it, you hug them. Because it's good for their brains, their development, their self-esteem and self worth, so you f-ing do it, Kate. Did you like changing diapers? Did you like cleaning up throw up and spit up and diarrhea and other bodily fluids? Did you like trying to put a screaming baby back to sleep at 4am? But you did it, didn't you? You did it because it's best for them. So, you need to hug too, because it's best for them.

Maybe Hannah and Collin just needed a damn bear hug once in awhile, so that's why they went to go live with Jon. Tool.

Kate says Joey is a maybe to a yes for a next date. I find it inconsistent and confusing that Kate is all impressed with Adam for finding somebody like Joey for her, and apparently doesn't blame him at all for the dud that was Nick who didn't even show up. Yet when Rachel had one amazing date for her and one dud (Jeff, followed by gym teacher Andrew), it was all like she's the most terrible matchmaker ever. How come Kate refuses to give Rachel any credit for Jeff? It's weird. I mean, she does suck and I think Jeff was more of a fluke than her doing, but I'm just asking Kate to be consistent here.

Next on Kate Plus I Hate this Show, a mildly interesting episode where the twins meet the guys and interrogate them Meet the Parents style. This show is such a poor man's concept of an overall halfway decent idea I just have to laugh. It appears perhaps the twins have a different idea of who Kate should go on a second date with, which has me ever so curious about that one. Could I guess that maybe they thought Jeff was a bit too much of a "dad joke" type, and perhaps liked the younger, cute and personable Joey? I can't believe I'm actually wondering what happens next, I hate myself and deserve to be ghosted. Until next time.

260 sediments (sic) from readers:

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JoyinVirginia said...

NJGal, your peach cobbler sounds delicious! We had BlackBerry cobbler, and made tomato sandwiches with tomatoes from the farm stand. YUM!

NJGal51 said...

Joy - Tomato sandwiches and blackberry cobbler sounds good to me! I love fresh tomatoes on white bread with mayo, salt and pepper. Ah the foods of summer.

Tracy said...

What a great picture of Collin, Hannah, Colleen and Jon! And yes they are out in the real world doing just being “normal”...this is wonderful.

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Tracy (#3), and yet "normal" is like a 4-letter word to TFW. Normal is mediocre, and mediocre is "less than." But look at the grins on C and H's faces. I agree: normal is wonderful!

I'll never forget one of the tups' toddler outings that perfectly represents the disparity between what TFW was trying to portray and the realest reality. She was barking orders at Jon -- which we came to know was their daily dynamic -- as she choreographed the kids' umpteenth photo. "Fix the hat of A! Fix the hat of J!" TFW may have gotten the perfect picture she wanted, but that happy picture certainly didn't represent the drama behind getting it taken.

Anonymous said...

Jeff Prescott is publicly blasting Kate for denying that the two of them were in a serious relationship. He confirmed they broke up when he refused to film. Shocking.
M.

Formerly Duped said...

FlimsyFlamsy said... 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I remember that! All the kids were miserable. I thought TFW's speech pattern was odd- wouldn't you say " Please fix A's hat" etc? Had to make memories, though!

Sad but true said...

Nothing new, but OMG, check out what K8 looks like in full make-up without retouching:

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/jon-and-kate-gosselin-celebrate-fourth-of-july-with-kids-separately/

Terrifying.

Anonymous said...

Posting as Anonymous but previously posted as "Luke's Mom":

I loved Jon’s Instagram post yesterday with Hannah and Collin. Both look so happy now that they are living with Jon and Colleen. It warms my heart to see Collin back home with Jon and how happy he is now.

Someone on Colleen’s Instagram commented “thank you for giving Collin just what he needed. Someone to love and someone to love him!!!!”.

And Colleen replied “you can’t help it. He is such a lovable kid. Thats all he wants. He is doing good! Honor roll this year at school.”

WOW!!! Colleen if you are reading here, you are an amazing kind loving woman! If I lived in Wyomissing, I would hope I would be lucky to have you as a friend. Together, you and Jon are providing Collin all the love and security that this sweet boy needs. God bless you and your family!

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

Hello Luke's mom!

And Colleen, you're working miracles. Thank you for loving a boy we knew all along was simply lovable. We never believed Kate on that one.

Jon just keeps losing weight and looking better and better. Karma, it came around. I just wish GollyGee was here to see it.

Anonymous said...

Posting as Anonymous but previously posted as “Luke’s Mom”.

Yesterday on Jon’s July4th Instagram post, Jon replied to a comment about it being too bad the other kids were not with him. I can’t find his reply anymore so he must have deleted it. I didn’t get a screen shot but it was something to the effect of “Or are they.... 🤔😏” and he used the emoji thinking face “hmmmm”. His reply implied that some of the other kids were with him yesterday too.

Someone (I am not showing full name below) replied to Jon’s posting with what I remember I saw Jon post yesterday too:
q****ns**p***9
Or were they.... 🤔😏

If this person reads this blog, please let us know that you also saw Jon’s comment yesterday as I did. And how he basically implied more kids were with him yesterday too.

And Jon if you read here too… you are an amazing dad!! You have consistently showed your children that you love them unconditionally! You have worked so hard to do what is right for them especially sweet Collin. I admire that so much as you NEVER gave up on them no matter what Kate did to interfere with your role as their father! ALL of your children need you and your love in their lives and if some of them don’t already recognize it today, I truly believe that they will in the near future. I wish you and Colleen all the best with your beautiful family!

jolie Jacquelyn said...

Is NOTHING private these days? This photo in the DailyMail shows one of the Duggar girls holding the baby she miscarried. She made sure to put on full makeup before documenting her grief, mind you.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7217873/Joy-Anna-Duggar-poses-photos-baby-girl-miscarried.html

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Luke's Mom (#8), so nice to see you! Boy, it's been a long time. Glad the good news about C brought you back, and I hope you'll stay!

foxy said...

Sad but true.....Kate's makeup and hair on the Kate date show is horrible too. I could do a better job. Her skin is all bumpy and she looks washed out. The hair is stringy and limp, not full like it was before all the extensions.

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Formerly Duped (#6), I think I hit upon what was so weird: she was talking about the children like they were props that were part of the set. Having Jon adjust their clothing as if it were no different than moving a lamp for a picture, or straightening out a lampshade. From what we know about her daily schedule during the tups' toddler years, it sounds like her goal was to spend as little time with them as possible. So those long filming days with all 8 underfoot might've felt like hell for her.

One of those 8 is going to write a book, and I don't think we know half of what went on at Ms. Gosselin's Home for Exploited Children.

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Admin (#9), we saw C as a loving, helpful, kind little boy because that's what he was. There was no artifice there. He wasn't playing to the camera. He was guileless.
Imagined how disturbed you have to be to intentionally break the spirit of a sweet child like that? Adam called it - black heart syndrome.

Anonymous said...

Kate one said that Collin was a hard child to love. Colleen just said that that Collin is the easiest kid to love.

Andrea

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...


Sad but true.....Kate's makeup and hair on the Kate date show is horrible too. I could do a better job. Her skin is all bumpy and she looks washed out. The hair is stringy and limp, not full like it was before all the extensions.

&&&

She had a decent hairstyle on her date with T.J. in this week's episode. It was curly and braided. Perhaps a bit juvenile, but looked pretty.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

Welp we felt that one! 6.9 in the same place. Sea Gordon and I are okay though a bit rattled!

Giff said...

I don't really like to discuss someone's appearance, but since it's Kate, I will go ahead. She looks bad in that In Touch Weekly photo as someone else pointed out. I don't know if it's a bad diet, too much time in the tanning bed, too many cigarettes or all of the above. Maybe the ugly on the inside is working it's way out. It is almost sad to watch her desperately try to hang on to her looks, her youth, her fame and her children...which she seems to be losing all at once.

Sandylove said...

So did I admin, down here in Orange County. Sitting in Subway eating a sandwich. That one scared me a bit and I'm not even close to the epicenter!

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Admin (#13), yeah, this second one was way more intense!

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

I'm loving the mad scientist Lucy Jones who is the spokeshole. She explains everything so well and is so in control. She's that kid who could name EVERY DINOSAUR when she was a tot. She pulls up her apple watch to see the reading on the aftershocks instantly. She is in her element!!

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

They said it was 7.1. then 6.9 now they've brought it back to 7.1.

Sad but true said...

jolie Jacquelyn said... 11

Yeah, this is seriously creepy. I can understand if you want to do this for your OWN viewing and remembrance. But to put this out there for public consumption is just, well, disturbing.

Jill Duggar actually took the first photo Joy posted and re-posted it on her own IG, complete with condolences, nonsense emojis, and incomprehensible hashtags. Like, WTF??? Are you really that desperate for hits and attention?

These people have no sense of decorum whatsoever. Everything is a paycheck to them now. How very Christian of them. Let's see if TLC was there to film, as they did Grandma's funeral. I think this show is finally jumping the shark, and not a moment too soon.

Winsomeone said...

That time Kate dated the man from New York and went for a helicopter ride..was that Jeff, or someone else? They made a big deal about Madie helping her pick out an outfit to wear it seems like? Madie inherited Kate's poor choice in fashion it seems like..at least what they have shown on the shows.

FlimsyFlamsy said...

jolie Jacquelyn (#11), I found it as disturbing as you did that those Duggar pictures were posted. Of course the family has every right to take the photos, and Joy and Austin must be enduring unimaginable pain which I wouldn't wish on anyone. But to share these intimate pictures with literally millions of people?

This family is so accustomed to cameras hovering over their shoulders that they seem to have just tamped down any sense of personal privacy. Yet they grew up under such rigid religious rules that would seem to frown upon broadcasting private family matters.
They sure kept Josh's secrets under their hats for decades.

Formerly Duped said...

Well, we know Leah and Mady apparently made the flag cake so I don't know what other kids would be with Jon...but what a great thought!

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Formerly Duped (#28), the picture of the cake was posted Thursday, but that doesn't necessarily mean the kids were with her. L and Mady could've made that cake Monday for all we know. Because realest reality.

Sad but true said...

FlimsyFlamsy said... 26

Yet they grew up under such rigid religious rules that would seem to frown upon broadcasting private family matters.
_____

Especially since they claim not to even watch TV! The hypocrisy here is almost blinding.

Formerly Duped said...

FlimsyFlamsy said... 29

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

True. But what could have happened to change the remaining 4 tups' minds? I do hope more get taken over by Jon/maybe the fact that they are of no use in the new dating show? I hope a photo surfaces of several happy-looking kids with their dad although I respect their privacy.

Anonymous said...

Admin, thank you for checking in. I was worried about Sea Gordon. I hope that is the worst of the aftershocks.

For years, Kate said that filming was the reason the family got to live in a nice house and go on vacations. Jon and Colleen, are able to provide those things without filming. They are giving Hannah and Collin more experiences while living a mediocre life.

Andrea

Sad but true said...

Formerly Duped said... 31

True. But what could have happened to change the remaining 4 tups' minds?
_____

Well, I think probably what they witnessed as Kate struggled to keep Hannah under her roof, for one. She must have been off-the-charts insane. And they probably blamed Jon for her behavior, as wrong as that is. I think their main concern is keeping Mommy happy and calm, and by Jon actually taking Kate to court over Hannah, which was clearly Hannah's wish, he was upsetting the very delicate status quo in that house. Or at least that's my interpretation.

Of course, it's probably also all of the invective that Kate heaps on Jon---who knows what she said? For example,"Your dad still owes me hundreds of thousands in child support! He's a deadbeat and how dare you want to see him after I have done EVERYTHING for you." Etc., etc. I'm sure she's convinced them that visiting dad = betrayal of mom.

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Andrea (#32), and all those perks TFW provided came with one teeny tiny complication: those 8 children became employees of TLC without their informed consent. Those kids spent a DECADE at a job they were never old enough to agree to taking. Unconscionable.

When it's time to shop for school supplies in the fall, you can bet the money for them will come out of Jon's pocket. And if H has a migraine that day, she can stay home.

Giff said...

Just from what we know, this summer Collin has taken road trips to Atlanta, Myrtle Beach, the Jersey Shore and spent a week at camp. I bet he would much rather sit is a car 14 hours with people who love him, than fly to some resort with a self absorbed, cold hearted mother, her fake friends, a camera crew and her "bodyguard." I feel sad that the 4 remaining tups are missing these REAL experiences.

Old poster said...

I’ve often wondered if the remaining 4 tips stay with Kate because they don’t want to leave their school. It’s obvious that if you don’t live with her, you can’t attend private school. If that’s the case, we will see if a relationship is rekindled after they graduate. Time will tell.
I also wonder about the trust money. Can Jon take her to court to access the funds? (I’m sure the trust would pay Kate’s legal fees).
I don’t know what the twin’s college expenses will tally after 4 years, but out of state tuition is $$$$$. Imagine all 8 attending out of state universities!
Here’s another thought. I hope Jon allows Colin and Hannah to earn driver’s licenses and gets them starter cars. Ya know, doing what normal parents do for a mediocre life... I also hope he’s reconnected colin and Hannah will all of their extended family members!

jjmon2012 said...

Just wondering how far down the road Jon lives from kate. Maybe some of the kids take a walk down the road or through the fields to dad's house.

AnotherMom said...

The cake strikes me as a rather odd activity.

I have a house full of high schoolers and maybe they’re just abnormal, but they’re far more about trying their own ideas than following family traditions right now. My child who likes to bake may make her own Independence Day creation, but would only make a holiday favorite if asked. And even then, some complaining would be involved.

I hope the Gosselin kids are given a safe space to try their ideas and practice independence in a safe space. I see so many university students who were not given the opportunity crash when they are away at schools, even valedictorians and students with flawless applications.

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Giff (#45), and when you're a kid, the journey can be as much fun, or even more, than the destination. A 14-hour road trip can be a blast with people you love. And with a chill guy like Jon, it would probably keep the stress level low.

Sad but true said...

Kate's been spending some time scrolling through the comments on her last couple of IG photos. I didn't bother to read whatever droppings she left behind, but I did see someone thanking her for "liking" her comment some four hours ago. Looks like she might be worried about Monday's show.

I wonder if she's actually seen all the final cuts before they air. I have a feeling that even now, there may be editing going on. And we know TLC retro-edits to get rid of anything deemed too unflattering to/by "the talent."

lurking said...

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said... 22
I'm loving the mad scientist Lucy Jones who is the spokeshole. She explains everything so well and is so in control. She's that kid who could name EVERY DINOSAUR when she was a tot. She pulls up her apple watch to see the reading on the aftershocks instantly. She is in her element!!

))

I was watching when she predicted another quake of at least 5.0 within a day. She was on the mark. Now they are saying the 7.1 was an earthquake, and the earlier one was a "pre-shock"

Sue said...

Jamie is in Atlantic City for a girls weekend. I wonder if Kate is there with her. If she is, I wonder if the 4 tups under her control are with Jon. That may be what the 🤔😏 emojies that someone saw were all about.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...


I hope the Gosselin kids are given a safe space to try their ideas and practice independence in a safe space. I see so many university students who were not given the opportunity crash when they are away at schools, even valedictorians and students with flawless applications.

&&&&

I discuss this very thing in my next recap in regard to Kate claiming she's so darn busy and exhausted from doing things like homework.

Leave kids alone with this stuff, they're way too old for her to be breathing down their necks. Like you said, give them some space to breathe, to figure things out on their own at times. I talk briefly about how I was given this space and found the transition to college pretty simple while some of my peers with more overbearing parents struggled.

Sad but true said...

Sue said... 42
Jamie is in Atlantic City for a girls weekend. I wonder if Kate is there with her.
____

If she is with Jamie in AC, then spending time reading and liking and replying to comments on photos posted 2 and 3 days ago would be a very strange activity for 7 p.m. on a Saturday night, which is what she was doing (verified!). Then again, Kate.

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Sue (#42), interesting theory! The kids have already been off school for a few weeks. And despite Mommie Dearest's assertions that she loooves summer, she may already be sick of the sight of them. Didn't one of the twins say they all know when she needs her alone time?

I still don't buy that she's that into her kids. This is a woman who punished her toddler by leaving him alone in the garage and growling, "I don't want to hear you BREATHE." You think she's any more tolerant now that they're teenagers who won't just march to the nearest "naughty spot" when they misbehave?

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Am I just imagining this, or didn't J & K actually show a diagram/map of where the "naughty spots" were in each area of the house? And that was what was considered normal for those 8 kids for a decade: having the most private details of their lives shared with the planet.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

Is NOTHING private these days? This photo in the DailyMail shows one of the Duggar girls holding the baby she miscarried. She made sure to put on full makeup before documenting her grief, mind you.

&&

I'm sorry for their devastating loss. I'd love to see a psychologist or sociologist take a look at this one. This is a young woman who has spent nearly her whole life documenting it for strangers, from a time when she couldn't even consent or understand it all. Now as she transitions to adulthood, a part of me wonders if she has difficulty processing any kind of life event without the emotional crutch of sharing it with all her supporters and getting the likes and comments. Does she feel anxiety or uneasiness when something has happened and she hasn't filled in the universe? Is she actually afraid of or anxious about privacy? It would be really interesting to study some of these kids who grew up like this and how it has affected their ability to maintain appropriate boundaries.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

“Those are my parents having a great time.....which makes me happy!!!!!!!!”

I think his use of eight exclamation points was a subtle dig to his
gestational carrier!

&&&

THOSE are his parents, Schmoopy. Parents, plural.

Bye Felicia!

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

Hope all is well with you Admin. 58 aftershocks following the 6.4 sounds very worrying.

bm

&&&

I was having a bad feeling about all the aftershocks building but trying not to stress out. When I felt how strong that second one was I thought immediately it must be out of Ridgecrest and if it's this strong for us it must be hell for them. No deaths and only a few injuries which is a blessing. If that 7.1 had been centered in LA things would have been very different. Check out @sea.gordon's instagram to see how the water in my pool faired!

Giff said...

Apparently Kate has taken the time to scrub her Instagram clean of any mention of Collin and Hannah. Too late Kate. She can erase her parents, siblings, friends and anyone else that doesn't agree with her decisions, but she will never be able to erase the two children who no longer want to be with her. She left all of the glowing comments about how great she is, being a "single" mother and raising 8 kids by herself. When people start questioning why two are no longer there, and how happy they look with Jon and Colleen, her image and lies start to unravel. I get the feeling Kate is desperate at this point. No one cares about seeing her or the twins. They just want to see the sextuplets...two of which she discarded when she thought she could carry a show alone. The world knows she is fraud. She can pretend all she wants now, but the world knows what a nasty human being she really is now.

NJGal51 said...

We were stationed at Presidio SF when the Loma Prieta earthquake hit back in 1989. Scary stuff. I’m glad that you and yours are OK.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for checking in Admin I've been thinking about you after hearing about the additional aftershocks; it must continue to be stressful to some degree.

bm

Layla said...

jmon2012 said... 37
Just wondering how far down the road Jon lives from kate. Maybe some of the kids take a walk down the road or through the fields to dad's house.
**************
Jon and Colleen's house is about a 5-minute drive from Kate's house, so it would be a very long walk for the kids.

Interesting that Jon is posting a hint about more kids being with him, and none of the pictures or comments Kate posted include any mention or sighting of Joel. If he were at the pool with Leah, Aaden, and Alexis, she would have included him--just to prove he was there. I hope he decided to spend some time with Collin and re-build their relationship.

I put one of my sons on plane to LA (work conference) this morning, so I'm hoping for no earthquakes this week. We headed out to Reagan airport bright and early this morning, and were a little irritated when they said the flight was cancelled (we came back from the beach early for this!). But--they told us that there were flights from BWI to LA, so we headed out there and he was able to get on a plane. If the DC-LA flights were cancelled due to the earthquakes, then why not the BWI-LA flights? It wasn't too bad, however, because I was able to stop at our all-time favorite donut place, which is nearby. Yummy! A chocolate marshmallow-fluff donut (or two) goes a long way toward soothing my soul. Now waiting to hear from DS that he landed safely.

bookworm said...

Interesting that Jon is posting a hint about more kids being with him, and none of the pictures or comments Kate posted include any mention or sighting of Joel. If he were at the pool with Leah, Aaden, and Alexis, she would have included him--just to prove he was there. I hope he decided to spend some time with Collin and re-build their relationship.
----------------------------------------
I remember one episode where Kate was antique shopping with the four kids who weren't visiting Jon. On the interview couch, Joel said something along the lines of he didn't go shopping (not that he cared about that) because Dad was tops. I also remember Collin looking very sad when Joel said that. Looked to me like he wished he had been with his dad too. Here's hoping more of the kids are speaking up and getting to see Jon.

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Giff (#50), but in her desperation, she's still tone deaf. "Looky here at this flag cake picture! 'Member when my cute kids made one on our hit TV show when they were little?" Yes, but we also remember that you shunned one little boy who wanted to help and hurt his feelings.

But most importantly, we remember that you have 8 kids, and 2 are MIA. Yet you continue to gaslight the fans about their absence -- having the audacity to write about #Traditions like you're freakin' Ma Ingalls.

Working the nostalgia angle is going to blow up in her face. But it's kinda fun to watch her squirm.

Former Lurker said...

I've got some catching up to do here. Just wanted to say that I hope everyone had a good Fourth of July weekend, and that Admin and our CA posters are doing okay with the earthquake activity. Scary stuff.

More off topic stuff - I know all the dog lovers here can relate. We had an interesting few days here, having spent the night before July 4th in the animal emergency place with one of our dogs. It might have been a case of mommy being overly cautious and always worried about our fur babies, but one of our dogs was sick and not himself on Wednesday and Wednesday night.

Long story short, I'm happy to reveal that it was nothing major at all, seemingly the most expensive tummy ache in the history of the world. Let's just say, that new iPhone I was planning on getting very soon is just going to have to wait. But, you know how it is. I'd rather that be the case than it turn out to be something serious. Been there done that way too many times. He's only four years old, so I hope we're good for a long, long time.

Back on topic, TFW still sucks, is still the most uninteresting person, and, of course, a horrible "mother". Have to catch up on comments now...

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Former Lurker (#56), so glad your dog is okay! Sounds like a stressful (and expensive) couple of days for you.

Layla said...

Former Lurker (56),
So happy to hear your pup is okay! I wish there was a way we could interpret their changes in behavior and know whether they are truly sick or just a little under the weather. We get too attached to just ignore something that doesn't seem quite right.

One of our pups is giving us some major attitude right now because her favorite human in the world (the DS who flew out this morning) is gone and she's very angry about it. She shows us just how irritated she is by sitting just out of reach, and giving us angry glances over her shoulder. She's not sure which one of us is to blame, so she blames us all.

NJGal51 said...

Former Lurker - I’m glad your fur baby is OK. I went through something similar with mine last fall. He just wasn’t acting right so we took him to the emergency vet. After all the tests (I insisted in X-rays because I was afraid he might have a blockage) it turns out he had a very expensive tummy ache from eating rotten fruit that had fallen off the trees. Lesson learned and now we do fruit patrol every couple of days. I’d do it again.

Formerly Duped said...

Former Lurker said... 56

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy to hear your dog is ok. Better safe than sorry although aren't vet those bills something!

Between heavy thunder and fireworks my own anxious dog had a very unpleasant weekend and the fireworks keep going!

This may be a good time to note I am glad you are no longer 'lurking' and posting regularly because your posts are so interesting and informative!

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

New recap up

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