Monday, July 6, 2015

Recap: G'Day from Australia!

I hope everyone will indulge me in a brief hiatus from our usual posts to do one of my "recaps", this time about my own reality, my visit to the Australia Zoo last week. My reason for doing such a personal recap is because there is a pretty strong connection to our chatter on this blog and this zoo. Number one, Kate Plus 8 filmed some episodes of the show in Australia and had their own spin on what goes on at the zoo which may not have been entirely accurate. Secondly, Bindi Irwin is probably Australia's most exploited child, even attracting attention from legislatures there who are concerned about her welfare, and for that reason alone I think it's interesting to keep up with what that family is up to.

And I guess a third reason is I think you'll enjoy hearing about this as I enjoyed my day there.

I won't bore you with the long details about how I ended up in Australia. The short version is I was given a wonderful opportunity to work here for a couple weeks, an opportunity which also included some leisure time such as a visit to the Great Barrier Reef and a stay on a cattle station, and I couldn't pass that up. This was one of those right place and right time things that came my way and makes me feel very lucky and appreciative. 

So last week I stepped on that 14 hour flight out of LAX bound for Sydney with several other colleagues. I'm not going to lie, that flight was brutal, but there were lots of new movies to watch and enough episodes of Veep to have me giggling a good two-thirds of the way across the Pacific. ("How much would I love to speak my mind on this campaign  Can you imagine if I did that? 'Mississippi is chock full of assholes, I don't trust the Chinese, and I gotta tell you something. I'm not going to be able to pass a single piece of legislation that's really going to make any fuck of a difference in your life.' How's that for a campaign platform?") Going back, the flight was more than an hour shorter which was a difference you could feel. Every hour counts when it's that long I guess.

After a few days recovering from our jet lag in Sydney, where not me but some of us were unfortunately vomiting for a few days (airplane food, we decided) we headed up on a short flight to Brisbane, near where the Australia Zoo is located. We made our home base in the gorgeous seaside surfer town of Caloundra, which hosts an old ship wreck the S.S. Dicky that is probably the most beautiful thing you will ever see at sunrise. A few of us managed to get up to witness it two days in a row. This was the prettier of the two mornings though both were spectacular. 



We planned almost an entire free day at the zoo and nearby koala hospital, and hit the ground as soon as it opened at 10 a.m. the day after we arrived in Caloundra.

My first impressions of the zoo was that it was extremely clean, very large, and quite classy. There was very little that was tacky about it as some attractions like this tend to be. It is of course heavy on Steve, with his photo plastered pretty much everywhere, but the heir apparent Bindi is everywhere too. Overlooking a croc infested creek there's Bindi's treehouse, which you can look at but not actually go up in, and coming later this year is something called Bindi's island. None of us bothered to figure out what that was about. A lot of people were commenting that Robert, her younger brother, is hardly anywhere. Neither is Terri for that matter. The marketing team knows what sells, and that's Steve and Bindi. Some remarked that they felt bad for Robert, who perhaps might feel like he plays second fiddle to his sister and dad. (I suppose it's also possible Robert doesn't want to be a part of this, though I doubt it.)

In the morning we wandered from exhibit to exhibit, just checking out whatever was nearby. We saw the crocs, several different birds, and snakes. They had camels you could ride and a sleepy tiger you could get your photo taken with, which I believe is the same one Kate got her photo taken with. It was kind of funny to see three zookeepers in there with the tiger, the people just sitting there on the ground hanging out like it was the most normal thing in the world. We speculated the tiger might be drugged, but I hope not. We saw koalas, one with a little baby riding on her mommy's back that was ridiculously adorable. Zookeepers were everywhere in the zoo, answering questions and often bringing the animals out of the enclosures for a closer look. We saw one worker actually walking a perfectly content wombat like you might a dog.



They were moving him for some reason. I asked if that's how they always move them and they said yes. Well, that seems more humane than sedating it and throwing it in a crate, as long as it's happy to walk with you.

I have to say I was impressed with the zookeepers. Most of them were very young, enthusiastic, and had the most nurturing touch with the animals. I watched one young woman remove a dozing koala from a tree with such a gentle hand, like a mother might wake up their sleeping toddler. There are also many areas of the zoo that are hands on and encourage you to touch and pet the animals, which Steve Irwin was so big on (and at times, criticized for) and there was always someone nearby to monitor everyone and make sure the animals were okay. I heard a few zookeepers speak up and ask people to step back when they felt the animal was getting too crowded, but I never saw the animals themselves act uncomfortable. The spirit of Steve and how he believed we should interact with wildlife, whether you agree, carries on. 

Now to what I imagine the zoo would consider its highlights. They have a huge enclosed area with a bunch of little kangaroos ranging from about three to five feet tall. They just hop around of their own accord and are perfectly tame around people. We bought some feed and went in and hand fed them. 




It was really fun and the roos had such personalities. I have a hysterical selfie with one where he looks like a silly kid photobombing me. Some of them had babies in their pouches and I saw them kicking in there like a human fetus kicks his mother. Someone else in my group saw one poke a little head out but sadly I missed that. I took a lot of photos in there and I didn't have to approach a roo, they would approach me and mug for my camera. I felt very much at ease in that exhibit. 




There is another similar roo feeding area with a different breed of kangaroos. I think it was Red Kangaroos. They were just as outgoing, but because we stopped by that later they were pretty full and not interested in eating. After that our group all took a turn holding a koala.


It was like holding a sleepy toddler, they were adorable and clung to you instantly. It was very special. I said they looked like sleepy babies, others said they looked like sleepy drunks. Whichever you prefer!

At noon we gathered in the "Crocoseum" for the croc show.



I imagine the show we saw was similar to what was shown on Kate Plus 8. This part was probably the least enjoyable for me. There was a lot of teasing of the crocs with bait and even trainers to get them to come out of the water or do certain things. Shades of Sea World. I did enjoy the birds, who flew very close to our heads.

Australians in general I've found to be honest, inviting, and curious. They also love to tease and laugh and when I asked some zoo staff where the "restroom" was they burst into giggles and said, "Restroom! You don't rest in it!" They just call it "the toilet" there and thought the Americans and their Americanisms were good fun. Which reminds me, the Australians we were with remembered it was the Fourth of July, which none of us expected them to (after all, most of us don't have the first clue what their holidays are or when), and made us a beautiful flag cake. I think most of us cried when they brought that out, it was just so kind.

It was fairly crowded at the zoo the day we went, although to be fair it was the first day of winter break for Australian school children, so it's hard to judge what it would look like on a regular day. The winter weather was beautiful, in the high 60's, with just a light shower in the morning we barely noticed because we were so absorbed in hanging out with the roos.

Australians are also chatty and love to tell you what they think if you ask. They don't have some idea that they best not say what they think to strangers out of politeness, as some cultures do, including to some extent our own. They are my sort of people! I had chatted up several of them throughout the trip and found out some interesting dirt about Terri. I met someone who knew Steve and said he was just as he was on TV and that everyone loved him, but that most people were not too keen on Terri. He found her to be standoffish and was never able to form any kind of friendship with her as he did Steve. I found myself wondering exactly what Steve saw in Terri, since everyone describes him as so genuine, and she as, frankly, a hot mess. Australians are very aware of the criticism of the Irwins and it makes them uncomfortable. The zoo has been struggling even before Steve's death, and the turning point as one Australian thought, was when Steve held baby Robert near a croc. He said from that moment on they never recovered.



Terri is estranged from Steve's father and he has washed his hands of the zoo, however under Australian law he apparently still has access to and sees Bindi and Robert. The zoo staff is, according to those I talked to, quite concerned about Terri's handling of the zoo's finances. This I had heard in the press, too.

Many locals were also vocal that they didn't like the zoo either, in particular the way you are allowed to touch and hold some of the animals. They said if you encountered a kangaroo or koala in the wild (which I did, incidentally, at about 11 o'clock at night I ran into three roos bigger than me--although that's another story!) you should quietly walk way around it or they'll claw your eyes out. I quietly walked around the three I saw! Way around.

At the end of the day a zoo is a zoo and I don't find them particularly necessary, but if you must have a zoo, they did as good of a job as you can with it. I give them credit for getting rid of some of the most exploitive exhibits, like the elephants, even if it were more for financial reasons, and for taking care to hire a staff that treats these animals like their own children. I also know many people who had a stake in the zoo have lines they won't cross. For instance, Steve Irwin's father has been very vocal about his disgust with Sea World. I've been to Sea World San Diego as well and I never felt the level of comfort there that I did at the Australia Zoo. This zoo has its issues, but it was not Sea World.

After a nice lunch in a big food court near the Crocoseum we headed over to the Koala Hospital, which is just a short walk over on the other side of the parking lot.

Here is where my heart just swelled. This is a real living working hospital that takes in injured animals and restores them to health. Many are released back to the wild. If they cannot return safely to the wild they are absorbed into the zoo or go to other good homes. They have it all open for viewing with huge glass windows, and some of the vets were working right at that moment on a sea turtle. You can see in the photo a great example of the gentle, loving touch of the vets. One of the doctors was actually soothingly rubbing the turtle's back. I don't know if a sick turtle responds to a back rub, but it's worth a try. 



The vets came over to the windows to talk to us and show us the turtle up close.


When we were there they were treating several animals including a koala who shattered his pelvis when he was hit by a car. He was doing well enough to rest in a little tree they had set up for him. You could see little shaved spots on his tiny back where they had been working on him. The turtle was suffering from excess air in its body and shell. Apparently a defense mechanism when turtles are injured is to retain excess air, however too much can kill them. There is treatment for it that can help it get better. They did not know how he was injured but guessed maybe a boat.

I'd love to see the zoo focus much more on this rehabilitation, but I suppose the other exhibits help fund this great work. We asked ahead of time if the hospital needed anything, and they said they could use office supplies like post its and pens, and that they could always use new or gently used towels. Well, my group delivered, and brought over from the U.S. with us the motherload pile of supplies you see here in front of one of the vets. I'm very proud of these Americans.



All in all it was a wonderful day, I learned so much, and we all felt so good about being able to help out the hospital with supplies. 

Thank you everyone for your patience while I've been absent from the blog. I'm glad I'm able to share with you some of the cool things I did while you were stuck on the same post! Australia may be a progressive country but it could use some work when it comes to its wifi! It's nonexistent in many places and slow as all get out in most others. Incidentally, one of the few times we had really good wifi was at the zoo (thank you, Terri, for that), but of course when that happened we were too busy seeing the zoo to be online much. Thanks again all you blokes and g'day!

1027 sediments (sic) from readers:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 400 of 1027   Newer›   Newest»
localyocul said...

help me to only feel love when he is near!!!

THAT IS HORRIBLE! Who the fuck needs to pray to feel love for her toddler??? She has resented him from the beginning..I'm sure the problems became circular. He frustrated her, she resented him, he sensed that and became more angry/frustrated and round and round.

Bitch

FYI said...

Tucker's Mom said... 197
http://explore-nj.com/?p=468

What is it with Jon's relationships imploding when they end?
Warning: You WILL lose IQ points reading this "DJ" dude's like, yo, um, thoughts, bro
=====================

I read that article. Talk about sour grapes!! Of course, the sheeple are just lapping it up, especially Milo. As usual, they'll believe anything negative written about Jon.

Fired Up 4 Kate ‏@MiloandJack · 18h18 hours ago
Jon Gosselin Gets Dissed by Seasoned DJ http://explore-nj.com/?p=468 Oh wow...this is not good! So much 4the new budding career. Who is surprised?

But Goody actually disagreed with her.

MsGoody2Shoes21 ‏@msgoody2shoes21 · 18h18 hours ago
@GoToWhitney @jgosselin10 @Kateplusmy8 @ENews I ain't a fan of Jon but the guy is disgruntled. He's pissed he didn't get to DJ at the casino

Then Milo continues the convo with Goody:

Fired Up 4 Kate ‏@MiloandJack · 18h18 hours ago
@msgoody2shoes21 I read the article twice...the guy has some legitimate points. He did alot 4him...U don't bite the hand that feeds U...:)

Fired Up 4 Kate ‏@MiloandJack · 17h17 hours ago
@msgoody2shoes21 You always hope 4change...when will folks realize that's just the way it is w/him. #MeFirst is never good.

MsGoody2Shoes21 ‏@msgoody2shoes21 · 16h16 hours ago
@MiloandJack Well, maybe in this case Jon should think of himself first. I say that because he's trying to establish himself as a DJ. The other guy is already an established DJ with 10 years under his belt.

The disgruntled DJ just reminds me of a lot of folks that that want to ride the Gosselin money train without a "ticket".

Fired Up 4 Kate ‏@MiloandJack · 16h16 hours ago
@msgoody2shoes21 Nope...I never agree w/me first attitude. It's selfish & presumes that ur better than the other person. #JustMyOpinion

So Milo doesn't agree with "me first attitude"? So how come she always agrees with Kate, whose attitude shows that she always about herself first?

Like Goody said, I think the guy was disgruntled because he didn't get to play AC, and Jon and his buddy DJ N-Do are getting all the good gigs and are being heavily promoted by Eclipse Entertainers.

FYI said...

BTW, this is what DJ N-Do had to say about that article. He posted this on his FB account:

"http://explore-nj.com/?p=468 wow read this bullshit. Talk about being butt-hurt. This piece of crap Kirk went and tried to sell a story to a magazine to make money. What a damn tool. Wow please read this crap he said. What he doesn't mention is how he tried to use Jon and as far as mentor goes......please!!!! Dude you sound like fucking Kanye west........real classy. This right here people is why this industry is screwed and nobody works together. We will be doing a follow up with the whole story. He made his choices to abandon Jon. His loss now he is trying to be a tabloid king. TOOL"

Localyocul said...

Well good for Goody! I'll give her points for that one

Anonymous said...

I love that Jon has stayed quiet recently and through it all and not issued a statement etc Let K and the producers say or do whatever, let the tabloid, fans, and even this site dissect everything. Ignore us all. Whatever he wants to do or say to his kids or wants them to know, he can say to their faces, away from the public,,, and that's all that counts.
Long time L

P.J. said...

Tucker's Mom said...

When Mady said (on The View) how hard the divorce was on Kate-harden even than on her-my heart broke for her.

8888888888888888888888888888

Talk about being brainwashed. Shame on that bitch, Kreider, for putting that shit in Mady's head. She's trained her kids to consider how everything in their lives affects her. They'll soon get sick and tired of putting her needs first. What a self-centered asshole.

Tucker's Mom said...

Anonymous said... 5
I love that Jon has stayed quiet recently and through it all and not issued a statement etc Let K and the producers say or do whatever, let the tabloid, fans, and even this site dissect everything. Ignore us all. Whatever he wants to do or say to his kids or wants them to know, he can say to their faces, away from the public,,, and that's all that counts.
Long time L
******
I thought Jon might respond to Kate so publicly announcing Collin's situation, but so far, crickets.
Anything you need you child to know can be done in private.
You don't go writing a book to do it.

NJGal51 said...

I've got to give props to Goody also for her comments. Surprised the hell out of me that she's the voice of reason when it comes to Jon in this case.

Milo - I know that you read here and I'l like you to tell me when has Kate NOT had the #mefirst attitude. She's always been selfish and acts (at every turn) as if she's better than everyone else. We've seen it time and time again. Do you ever think before you write? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...


Like Goody said, I think the guy was disgruntled because he didn't get to play AC, and Jon and his buddy DJ N-Do are getting all the good gigs and are being heavily promoted by Eclipse Entertainers.


&&&

Exactly. For once Goody is the voice of reason. Jon's had a pretty impressive rise in the DJ field for only being in it a short time. It's understandable a more established DJ could find that frustrating and lash out. Instead of lashing out which accomplishes nothing, go back to the drawing board, get better, innovate. Competition is good, it makes you sharper. He'll realize that when the dust settles.

Lanc Native said...

Like Goody said, I think the guy was disgruntled because he didn't get to play AC, and Jon and his buddy DJ N-Do are getting all the good gigs and are being heavily promoted by Eclipse Entertainers.

))))))))))))
Wow. That rant sounds like sour grapes to me. Shades of someone else who has gone off with his own grapes every so often. Whining is so unbecoming. You don't get your own way, so you attack. Really mature there, fella. Time to grow up and get over it.

Milo. Shut up. Just shup up about this golf thing. Just because you and 'hubs" walked a course twenty years ago doesn't mean that Kate and the kids would enjoy doing this. They'd really have to be into golf, and I doubt that any of them are. It's hot, it's humid, traffic will be a nightmare, it's not in her own backyard, and if it rains the next three days as predicted, it's going to be a soggy course.

I thought old Gladys was taking a Twitter leave of absence.

redbird said...

OT:
I read in my local paper that a group that gives meals to the elderly and disabled had a packing party for the fourth of July. They wanted to let their clients know that they are loved and appreciated all year round instead of just Thanksgiving and Christmas!

They packed in a nice tote bag, a pack of hot dogs, hot dog buns, relish, cookie, baked beans, chips and an American flag.

And they had more volunteers this year than last!

God Bless America!

redbird said...

I think it is so diabolical the way she has treated and messed with Colin's psyche. She has used her child to make her look good, that she is the concerned mom and is doing what is best for one of her children.

She knew for years that something was not right, but she didn't care. Did the clause in the contract say that if they weren't filmed they wouldn't get paid? So, if a child was not being filmed that was docked from her pay? I know it said that if they were sick that they wouldn't get paid.

And, IIRC, Jon grabbed Joel and took him to her room and put plastic down on the bed in case he got sick, put the tv on and took care of him.

Her day's coming.

Tucker's Mom said...

DJ Jon Gosselin ‏@jgosselin10 8m8 minutes ago
@BluMyst @GoToWhitney @GeeWhiz__ @Kateplusmy8 @ENews wrong, business deal he backed out. Have texts as proof. Sad soul!!!

This DJ should hook up with Al Walentis ;-)

PA Dutch Mom said...

I think that he and Kate are alike in this way: they both have had a taste of fame, and think that everyone interacts in the way that they saw when they were celebrities.

&&&&&&&&

Nope. It's just the opposite. He wants to be Jon, not Jon the celebrity, not the Jon of Jon and Kate Plus 8. Just Jon, living life independent of the way things were back in the day. He and Kate most definitely are not alike in this way. She lives in the past and wants to continue it. He wants to forget that past lifestyle of the rich and famous and move on.

Paige C ‏@Paige_Kate8fan 11m11 minutes ago
@Kateplusmy8 yesterday was my 21st birthday!! Can I get a happy belated?🎂

Kate, for gosh sake, wish this gal a happy birthday, or she'll be asking for days to come.

What is it with this "Bitter blackhearted busybody" person? Isn't it time to get a bit more creative? There's overkill on this one. Is it some kind of mental issue when one gets habitually obsessed with the same thing, phrase, thoughts and actions and can't let go of them? Is it a form of OCD? I'm serious, and just asking.

Tucker's Mom said...

"Father of 8, brother, son, boyfriend!!! Reinventing myself as DJ Jon Gosselin. Powered by Eclipse"

Jon's Twitter tagline

"I'm joining modern Tweeting society. My kids will be so proud! You're shocked? Me too!"

I'm, My, Me...

PA Dutch Mom said...

Milo. Shut up. Just shup up about this golf thing. Just because you and 'hubs" walked a course twenty years ago doesn't mean that Kate and the kids would enjoy doing this. They'd really have to be into golf, and I doubt that any of them are. It's hot, it's humid, traffic will be a nightmare, it's not in her own backyard, and if it rains the next three days as predicted, it's going to be a soggy course.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Oh, yes, Milo. Let's bring Kate and the kids over here for this. I'm sure they'd enjoy it. It's really nasty out there right now.

http://lancasteronline.com/news/local/dehydration-heat-exhaustion-at-us-women-s-open/article_2103dcfc-2582-11e5-9d16-b328afaaea0f.html

FYI said...

Jon answered one of the sheeple critics:

MeLyn ‏@BluMyst · 1h1 hour ago
@GoToWhitney @GeeWhiz__ @jgosselin10 @Kateplusmy8 @ENews Wow So the guy helped Jon up when he was down & Jon screwed him. What a POS.

DJ Jon Gosselin ‏@jgosselin10 · 34m34 minutes ago
@BluMyst @GoToWhitney @GeeWhiz__ @Kateplusmy8 @ENews wrong, business deal he backed out. Have texts as proof. Sad soul!!!

FYI said...

Remember Laney Brown, the young girl from Reading who died of cancer on Christmas Day 2013? Her family has started a foundation in her name to help other children with cancer. They have a 5k race each year to raise funds, and guess who is this year's entertainment?

Yep, Jon and his friend DJ N-Do. DJ N-Do posted this on his facebook account a couple of weeks ago:

"Happy, excited, and proud to announce that Eclipse Entertainers, myself and my main man Jonathan Gosselin will be the ones to be providing the music and entertainment for the Laney 5k run this year. The best feeling is being able to give back to your community, and actually doing it. Let's make this the biggest one yet people........repost and show some love😍😍🔊🔊🔊"

Another post from DJ N-Do. They're also doing a gig with Y102K radio station.

"Hahaha just booked a show with Y102 on October 23rd with my PIC Jonathan Gosselin..........wonder if we should be thanking "you know who" for this gig too lol. I love when people try to be negative and that shit spins on them and bites em in the ass. Please please keep talking trash, I'd like to pay for my kids college by the time he is 10 lol. Powered by Eclipse Entertainers 😊😊"

Here are some of his other comments about the article:

"Best part is.......they contacted us for a follow up. Kirk emailed them crying lol. The whole story will come to light. And even then it still won't matter. The guy is a fossil. We are gonna keep trucking on. Guess we will just have to deal with this more and more in the future"

"Truth is that he got really mad because me and Jon got close as friends. He felt threatened. But me and Jon didn't argue......ever. All Kirk did was bitch about money to Jon. When Kirk bailed,it changed nothing between me and Jon. We kept going, as planned"

fidosmommy said...

PA Dutch, (#13) thank you for saying that about Jon. I believe he DID get a taste of the fame and high income, but he chose to burst his own bubble and get out. Sure his past popularity was a foot in the door for new work ventures, but he can't make headway in the DJ world just because he once had a tv show. He has to prove himself over and over as a good, and always improving, DJ. He has room to grow in the music world. He could not say that about his reality TV show. He wants to be known as DJ Jon Gosselin, as both you and he have indicated. I wish him every success. I have always said I would love to meet up with Jon just for a glass of lemonade one day.

Tucker's Mom said...

Kate is a twit said... 18
Remember Laney Brown, the young girl from Reading who died of cancer on Christmas Day 2013? Her family has started a foundation in her name to help other children with cancer. They have a 5k race each year to raise funds, and guess who is this year's entertainment?

Yep, Jon and his friend DJ N-Do. DJ N-Do posted this on his facebook account a couple of weeks ago:
******
What a great way to give back! Way to go, Jon.
Hmm...will he get a pair of Uggs for showing up? Will he need a police escort? Will he have his bodyguard/road manager there with him?
I mean, he will be out in public, ya know!

Unknown said...

Tucker's Mom said... 15
"Father of 8, brother, son, boyfriend!!! Reinventing myself as DJ Jon Gosselin. Powered by Eclipse"
Jon's Twitter tagline
"I'm joining modern Tweeting society. My kids will be so proud! You're shocked? Me too!"
I'm, My, Me...''
~~~~~~~~~
I first misunderstood what you were saying, but now I see that you're comparing Jon's tagline with TFMJG's tagline! Just comparing the two explains the difference between the stuck on stupid moron and Jon in a few short lines, doesn't it?

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Fidosmommy (#19), I agree with your thoughts. Jon said it right
into the camera: he missed being just Jon Gosselin, and not
"Jon & Kate + 8." Compare that to TFW saying, "We can never
go back." To her, anonymity is mediocrity.

redbird said...

Fired Up 4 Kate ‏@MiloandJack · 18h18 hours ago
@msgoody2shoes21 I read the article twice...the guy has some legitimate points. He did alot 4him...U don't bite the hand that feeds U...:)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What would Milo give if her bestie would just nibble in the palm of her hand. #NoBitingAllowed

So funny, the DJ that said, Please please keep trash talking, he wants to pay for his son's college by the time he is ten.

Sue_Buddy said...

Trouble in the barnyard:

Patricia Chow ‏@PatriciaChow1 38m38 minutes ago
@lovemedietcoke @GeeWhiz__ @Kateplusmy8 @ENews the show is losing my interest !


Gee Whiz ‏@GeeWhiz__ 6m6 minutes ago
@PatriciaChow1 @lovemedietcoke @Kateplusmy8 @ENews Then don't watch! You won't be missed



Gee Whiz is soooo cranky!

Over And Out said...

Kate is a twit said... 17
Jon answered one of the sheeple critics:

DJ Jon Gosselin ‏@jgosselin10 · 34m34 minutes ago
@BluMyst @GoToWhitney @GeeWhiz__ @Kateplusmy8 @ENews wrong, business deal he backed out. Have texts as proof. Sad soul!!!

Good for him. Enough is enough. It's about time that he set the record straight for these black-hearted Jon haters who are dumber than the proverbial bag of hair. With the verbal abuse he takes, and the downright lies on Twitter, I'm surprised he has enough restraint not to file libel complaints against them. Maybe that's coming. Who knows, especially if these lies have a negative impact on his employment. Kravitz, you're included in this.

I've never seen so much ignorance coming from these know-it-all hypocrites. Take a look at their timelines and you can tell exactly how low the bar is set for intelligence. Maturity-wise, the level is that of a 14-year-old. Collectively, they are all in the same boat.

Over And Out said...

Tucker's Mom, 13...
"This DJ should hook up with Al Walentis ;-)"

*************

LOL! You read my mind. What is old Al up to these days? :)

This DJ sounds like even more of a cry baby than Mr. Sour Grapes, if that's possible.

Formerly Duped said...

I watched Cooking with Twins again. Jon checked Joel in the laundry room, then left him there and told him to go to sleep. It was later he moved him to the bedroom to watch TV, then Joel vomited again during dinnertime and Jon cleaned him up and I guess put him in the bed. But it seems like Kate was saying the 'new plan' for sick kids was the laundry room floor and Jon did not disagree at first and did not move Joel till later. Jon checked on him ,but did not argue at;east on oir about the 'new plan.'

Tucker's Mom said...

Remona Blue said... 21
Tucker's Mom said... 15
"Father of 8, brother, son, boyfriend!!! Reinventing myself as DJ Jon Gosselin. Powered by Eclipse"
Jon's Twitter tagline
"I'm joining modern Tweeting society. My kids will be so proud! You're shocked? Me too!"
I'm, My, Me...''
~~~~~~~~~
I first misunderstood what you were saying, but now I see that you're comparing Jon's tagline with TFMJG's tagline! Just comparing the two explains the difference between the stuck on stupid moron and Jon in a few short lines, doesn't it?

******
I forgot to add, "Kate's Twitter Tagline". Whoops. Yes, it does illustrate the differences.

SG said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Over In TFW's County said...

Emily Creighton @EmCr68
"You look like Kate Gosselin" Oh you didn't know?!? She's my sista!😉👯 @Kateplusmy8 blue might be our color! http://t.co/6JjhEWu61G

Get a grip, Em. Geez! Get out of that fantasy world and grow up.

"Oh, yes, Milo. Let's bring Kate and the kids over here for the golf tournament. I'm sure they'd enjoy it. It's really nasty out there right now.

http://lancasteronline.com/news/local/dehydration-heat-exhaustion-at-us-women-s-open/article_2103dcfc-2582-11e5-9d16-b328afaaea0f.html"

+++++++++++++++++

Gladys, Kate is not going to drag eight kids to Lancaster and hike those greens on a day like this, and I don't blame her. It's so hot and muggy right now. You'd really have to be a golf fanatic to even attempt this. Better yet, why don't YOU make the trip here and show her how it's done? I'll watch.

Over In TFW's County said...



Gee Whiz is soooo cranky!

+++++++++++++++

LOL!! I think that's being kind. Over here, we call it crotchety, tetchy and ornery!

TLC stinks said...

I watched the vomitus Joel part and I agree that Jon did not get upset, but for some reason I remember it differently. Could it have been swiffered?

That episode was an example of why I watched. Jon and Kate seemed normal and the kids were adorable. What the hell happened? The formula worked but SOMEBODY got a big head, a body guard and the rest is history. BTW, if you notice, her accent is stronger today than it was then. I think she plays it up more now.

Tucker's Mom said...

Over In TFW's County said... 30
Emily Creighton @EmCr68
"You look like Kate Gosselin" Oh you didn't know?!? She's my sista!���� @Kateplusmy8 blue might be our color! http://t.co/6JjhEWu61G

Get a grip, Em. Geez! Get out of that fantasy world and grow up.

8
******
Emily doesn't look like Kate. Having the same hair doesn't make you twins.
Kate looked nothing like Em when she was her age. Now with all the work she's had done, Kate looks more like Barbie, but she's not a natural beauty like Em (who's a bit conceited, actually).

Formerly Duped said...

SG said... 29
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Really? I guess there has been some editing etc. I know I felt when I watched it originally that Jon was rescuing Joel so I was surprised he seemed ok with the laundry room treatment when I re -watched it . Thanks.I do think Jon is a good parent and he is even better since breaking free of Kate.

redbird said...

Over In TFW's County said... 31


Gee Whiz is soooo cranky!

+++++++++++++++

LOL!! I think that's being kind. Over here, we call it crotchety, tetchy and ornery!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And mad salty, too!

AuntieAnn said...

Emily Creighton @EmCr68
"You look like Kate Gosselin" Oh you didn't know?!? She's my sista!���� @Kateplusmy8 blue might be our color! http://t.co/6JjhEWu61G

====

Sista? I thought Kate was her second mama. Color her fickled.

I think she'd like to cozy up to Kate again so she can grift another summer vacay with a 'celebrity'. She's almost a TFW protégé.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...


I'm almost afraid to ask this, but what the heck. Will there be a recap, admin? The recaps are so much more fun than the shows, and we don't have to listen to her voice, or watch the Flapping Of The Hands.


&&&&&

Lol yes I will recap them! I think I'm like four recaps behind but I'll get to them. I can't believe I'm stepping on another airplane tomorrow afternoon. I'm not even unpacked yet. Life has taken an interesting turn but I'm enjoying the ride. After I get back Tuesday, things will settle down. And this time I'll only be in NY where they have heard of the concept of the internet! :)

PA Dutch Mom said...

I have always said I would love to meet up with Jon just for a glass of lemonade one day.

&&&&&&&&&&&

Kate is the person who walks into a room followed by a bodyguard and says, "Here *I* am!"

Jon is the person who walks into a room by himself, takes a look around, spots someone and says, "There YOU are!"

SG said...

Oops. Deleted my comment. Oh well.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...


I'm not sure why anyone is so surprised by the ratings. It wasn't a new show. Repeats (which is what this was, packaged differently) always draw fewer viewers. Comparing these numbers to new shows is an apples and oranges comparison.


&&&

No, the episode was new. All of the new episodes now feature a handful of old clips. That's just what they're doing now. It doesn't make the episode a rerun and to categorize it as one is deflection.

All This Is That said...

MeLyn ‏@BluMyst 14m14 minutes ago
@GeeWhiz__ @jgosselin10 @GoToWhitney @Kateplusmy8 @ENews Haha Jon blocked me. He can't stand being challenged on his lies. Too hard2 explain

lol!! I wonder if it ever occurred to the fans that Jon just doesn't want to get into a pi&&ing match or harassed by bleating sheeple!

Nah, they can't think that far!

All This Is That said...

Fired Up 4 Kate ‏@MiloandJack 4m4 minutes ago
Have a child that #MarchesToADifferentDrum? It's OK ..Mom will show him the way! #Collin ❤ @Kateplusmy8

Gladys is one very loose cannon. I have never seen anything like this. Everything is about Kate. Everything.

How can Mom show him the way when Mom is crazier than a bed bug?

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

No, the show being discussed was a clips show with no new footage. The show the next night was new.

&&&&

No, it was billed as new on both the TLC web site and in all channel listings and was certainly advertised as new. If Kate even provided an ounce of new commentary, it's new. You can have an opinion it's not new, but it counts as new if TLC has decided to label it as new and accept ratings for it as new. If they want to bait and switch that's their problem to deal with the consequences if ratings are poor.

It doesn't matter if if it's a clips show or not, the ratings being discussed were for what TLC decided to classify as a "new" episode. Regardless, the ratings have been generally terrible for all the recent shows, even ones with less clips. Shows like the Little Couple are blowing Kate out of the water.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...


Fired Up 4 Kate ‏@MiloandJack 4m4 minutes ago
Have a child that #MarchesToADifferentDrum? It's OK ..Mom will show him the way! #Collin ❤ @Kateplusmy8

&&&

More minimizing. And way to make Kate the martyr, as if she can just snap her fingers and "save" a special needs child when other special needs children must spend years going through intensive services.

That sounds like how we USED to address special needs children. Oh that's just Johnny he's the odd one, marches to a different drum. Oh well.

That sort of mentality, Milo? Did Johnny no favors. John didn't get services with that attitude, and suffered. Get a grip.

redbird said...

Thought it was so funny that Jon put Kateplusmy8 on his tweet about the Sad Soul!!! Snap on you, Sista!

I have posted this several times that the original, unswiffered DVD's of Jon and Kate Plus 8 will be collectors items. I am going to look on ebay, amazon to and see if there are any.

Sherry Baby said...

No, it was billed as new on both the TLC web site and in all channel listings and was certainly advertised as new. If Kate even provided an ounce of new commentary, it's new.

______________
Exactly. I just checked listings for the Catfish show. There is a "new" show airing right now, and the following show is a collection of highlights of past shows. The television listing has it promoted as "NEW Fresh Catch Special 2015" even though it's a memorable moments show.

Admin, your boyfriend is on...

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Admin (#44), that tweet was especially tone deaf, even for
Gladys. You'd think a super swell parent like TFW would have
picked up on these "different drum" qualities sooner. Especially
a stay-at-home mom. But not only did she not seem to take
any action to help the child -- when she had all the time, money
and resources to do so -- she ripped the child's father a new
one when he dared claim that not all of his children were
thriving.

But here's Gladys, waving her pom-poms and cheering TFW on.
I'm surprised she hasn't suggested filming the poor boy every
step of the way as he navigates this challenge. A tweet to
@TLC about that very topic wouldn't surprise me. She'd claim
it was a public service to all the other struggling children and
parents out there.

redbird said...

I came across this:

"Well done is better than well said". Benjamin Franklin

Just think if TFW would of accepted that Colin needed help early on and got him help and that would of been well done, Kate.

But she didn't until she was forced to and sits on her backside, faces a video camera and tells the world that her son was a problem and she has to do something about it. Well said. (In her mind).

She is sick, sick puppy!

Eight is More Than Enough said...

TLC stinks said... 32
I watched the vomitus Joel part and I agree that Jon did not get upset, but for some reason I remember it differently. Could it have been swiffered?

That episode was an example of why I watched. Jon and Kate seemed normal and the kids were adorable. What the hell happened? The formula worked but SOMEBODY got a big head, a body guard and the rest is history. BTW, if you notice, her accent is stronger today than it was then. I think she plays it up more now.
-----
That's human memory for you. People remember what they want to have happened or let other actions change what they saw. Same thing with witnesses. I think you badly want to think of Jon as being an amazing dad who was victimized by Katie for a decade so you memory remembers that being the case. It's natural for you to want the Gosselin kids to have had at least one parent who was always good to them.

Unfortunately the facts of Plus 8 and the last decade aren't always pretty and don't always reflect well on Jon. At least he loves them though, and is trying. Katie is and always has been a lost cause. Jon never has. He just tends to wander off the path.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...


Exactly. I just checked listings for the Catfish show. There is a "new" show airing right now, and the following show is a collection of highlights of past shows. The television listing has it promoted as "NEW Fresh Catch Special 2015" even though it's a memorable moments show.


&&&&

Yes, 60 Minutes does that all the time. They'll add a 2 minute update to an old story and call the episode "new." Your DVR will pick it up as new, the tv listings will list it as new, and the ratings will run it as new.

That is up to 60 Minutes if they want to do that and suffer the consequences. But if they say it's new, it's new for purposes of ratings, and ratings can be analyzed as "new" if we want to. They chose that door, not us.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...


Anybody with two functioning brain cells understood that a 3-hour "Decade of Kate" special was a clips show

&&&&


All the episodes lately are clip shows. Amazing you can tell what's new and what's not.

All This Is That said...

redbird said... 48
But she didn't until she was forced to and sits on her backside, faces a video camera and tells the world that her son was a problem and she has to do something about it. Well said. (In her mind).

===
I didn't watch it. She said Collin was a problem? Were those her words?

Localyocul said...

And mad salty, too!

...

Haha! Good one Redbird! gee is the idiot steeple who made even Ziggy look sane when she attacked Zig for attacking the Duggars! It was an epic sheetle civil war!

Localyocul said...

Trouble in the barnyard:

Patricia Chow ‏@PatriciaChow1 38m38 minutes ago
@lovemedietcoke @GeeWhiz__ @Kateplusmy8 @ENews the show is losing my interest !


Gee Whiz ‏@GeeWhiz__ 6m6 minutes ago
@PatriciaChow1 @lovemedietcoke @Kateplusmy8 @ENews Then don't watch! You won't be missed


//////

And this:

@PatriciaChow1: @lovemedietcoke @GeeWhiz__ @Kateplusmy8 @ENews Sometime ago, also I read Hoffman's Book !

I think this explains her flip flopping. She was a fan, read the book, and is conflicted but coming around

Fleecing The Sheeple said...

It doesn't matter if if it's a clips show or not, the ratings being discussed were for what TLC decided to classify as a "new" episode. Regardless, the ratings have been generally terrible for all the recent shows, even ones with less clips. Shows like the Little Couple are blowing Kate out of the water.

===============

Yes, indeed it was promoted as a new show. The sheeple were bouncing over the moon at the thought of new episodes, and the fact that it was three hours, count 'em, THREE hours had them in a bubbleheaded frenzy.

Anonymous said...

I am so tired, holding on even with straws, as sparkly as they may be , get old, FAST

gonna go to sleep now, hope the sunrise is cool

franky

NYY Julianna said...

He just tends to wander off the path.

88888888888888

Yes, he has done that. Nobody is perfect. Sometimes when he comes to a fork in the road, he takes it (thanks #8 for your Yogism).

Alberta Girl said...

Poor C. He's very similar to my youngest, who has anxiety. We knew something was "off" around age 3 or 4, when he just couldn't shake the terrible twos, or so it seemed to us. After the last 3 years of regular therapy, and eventually medication, he's doing a lot better.

Since anxiety is a neurological/biological condition, she couldn't cause it, but she sure as heck can exacerbate it. Of course, while I don't know if this is the case with C, it seems very familiar. Kids that have anxiety feel like the world is crashing in on them if structure is not there. Any deviation can cause panic, which for most translate into outbursts. Some withdraw (and usually aren't diagnosed until they are teens, due to the fact that they don't have behavioural issues that cause disruptions). Obviously, I'm not a mental health expert, and I'm just speaking from experience.

Anyways, I hope for the best for him. It really sucks that we even know this about him. She could have easily hid this, as they don't film regularly, and she's pretty much a Z lister at this point. I just find it disgusting that over the years, she has gone to extreme lengths to hide Steve's involvement in their lives from the audience, yet she couldn't put a little effort into protecting her son's privacy??

Oh - also wanted to add this: as a mother, how can she state that the last 5 years have been the best of her life, when her kids have struggled?

foxy said...

What is the website that gives the ratings for TV shows? Thank you.

Localyocul said...

Then there's this tweet:

@PatriciaChow1: @jamezvader1194 @WhoisPmk @msgoody2shoes21 Kate is using the kids in the worst way, 3 r so angry all the time,.she keeps pushing it !

TLC stinks said...

ITA, Alberta Girl. Well said.

Sideline Observer said...

Localyocul said... 60

Then there's this tweet:

@PatriciaChow1: @jamezvader1194 @WhoisPmk @msgoody2shoes21 Kate is using the kids in the worst way, 3 r so angry all the time,.she keeps pushing it !

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Translation: If you're going to exploit your kids, do it properly at the very least.

Apparently the pendulum on this sheeple swung back to the fan side.

Vanessa said...

I'm going with SHE is the cause, the root of Colin's issues.

_________________________________________________

Sons of Narcissistic Mothers:

Boys and girls of narcissistic mothers both have to deal with a deficit of maternal nurturing that their upbringing lacked. With a boy, here is one way development can go: when you were a child, you desperately sought praise and validation from your mother, inadvertently tying yourself to her will. This may have even resulted in being labeled a “momma’s boy” because you did everything your mother asked just to please her although it hardly helped your relationship with her. You aim to please, but now lack the ability to appreciate your own needs. You may end up with a demanding, narcissistic woman as a mate, because this is all you know. It will exhaust you.

-She makes you feel like a failure if you’re not doing what she wants right now.Your mom is really good at manipulation, especially when your emotions are involved. If you aren’t fulfilling her desires to make her feel like her needs are at the upmost importance, be prepared to experience pain in the way of criticism or an attack. And, if you are looking for validation, you may be waiting a long time.

-She finds fault in you. And when you make it right, you barely get a validation. “I’m sorry Mom” is never enough with her and you can never figure out how to please her with an apology.

-She makes you anxious, not filled with self-confidence. She makes you feel inadequate, even if you do something that deserves praise. We all need validation, especially early on in life. A narcissistic mother can instigate self-doubt in everything that you do.

-The world revolves around her. Your mom has to be the center of attention at all times. She needs to be waited on and adored and expects you to provide her with all of the above and more.


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201311/the-narcissistic-mother

localyocul said...

Sideline Observer said... 62
Localyocul said... 60

Then there's this tweet:

@PatriciaChow1: @jamezvader1194 @WhoisPmk @msgoody2shoes21 Kate is using the kids in the worst way, 3 r so angry all the time,.she keeps pushing it !

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Translation: If you're going to exploit your kids, do it properly at the very least.

Apparently the pendulum on this sheeple swung back to the fan side.

(((

How do you get that? She does go back and forth but she seems to be on the nonfan side. In fact she stepped into a convo to agree with a nonfan.

Oh, and she's 72 or 73! I thoughst she was in her 40s or 50s!

https://twitter.com/patriciachow1/status/618530866235478016

Vanessa said...

How can Mom show him the way when Mom is crazier than a bed bug?
************************************************
How can mom show him the way when she led him in the wrong direction in the first place?

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Alberta Girl (#58)That, thanks for sharing about your son's
experience. I hope he continues to thrive with the help
you got for him.

That "last 5 years were the best" comment was nothing more
than an F-U to her children's father. You better believe she
misses the magazine covers and luxury trips and non-stop
attention she had during J&K+8. And while she'd never
admit it, she misses having Jon to share (read: do all of)
the work at home, and to deal with the children's problems.
That seems to be her idea of what marriage is: having
someone to kill the bugs and yell at the kids so she won't
have to.

Vanessa said...

http://divorcedmoms.com/articles/coparenting-with-a-narcissist-what-to-do-when-your-children-are-being-emotionally-abused-

"One co-parent we know told her children: “I’m your mother; I can do anything I want with you and to you” in response to their father’s attempt to intervene on their behalf."

Vanessa said...

So if the child of a Narcissist speaks up and out against their parents, they will not be believed, and they will most likely be scolded by society for doing it. Their feeling that they are the bad one, defective, is reinforced. They retreat into silence. They are alone in a world full of people who are against them.

If you meet the child of a Narcissist, you will not pick up on any of this unless you are very sensitive and perceptive, and even then you won’t know what it is or why it is. You will probably conclude that there is something wrong with them, perhaps you’ll even brand them a Narcissist. It’s a trending accusation.

The child of a Narcissist will probably accept the accusation. They are used to be accused of things they are not, they know the simplest thing to do is accept it. A real Narcissist will not accept any accusations at all. They’re not the Narcissist, you are! Everything that they are which is bad is what you are, and they’ll use you to prove it! Everything about you which is good is what they are, not you, you’re all bad!

Want to be completely messed up in the mind? Have a relationship with a Narcissist.

Want to feel like a Narcissist, sure of yourself, perfect, beautiful, powerful, with no regrets, and omnipotent? Have a relationship with a child of Narcissists. They know how to bring out the best in people, it sometimes backfires and turns into the worst. If I had monetary compensation for every time I thought – Oh dear, I’ve created a monster…

People are starved of encouragement. Give them too much of it when they’ve had too little… and you can turn pretty much anyone into a Narcissist even if it is temporary insanity. They’ll get over it once you get out of their life. Or maybe they were an inverted Narcissist who needed a nudge.

Hard to tell sometimes, we live in a Narcissistic age. Society’s obsession with Vampires is society’s obsession with Narcissism in archetype form. What about Zombies… perhaps an archetype for the inverted Narcissist. With more Narcissists in this world, it means there are more children of Narcissists… but they always get forgotten.

The children of Narcissists are used to being invisible. Being invisible does not mean that you can’t see what is both visible and invisible.

The child of a Narcissist has absorbed all the ‘skills’ of a Narcissist, plus a few more which are the gifts the child of a Narcissist must develop to survive being the child of a Narcissist. They can pretend to be who they are not and do it very convincingly. They do this to deceive, but not in the way a Narcissist does. They are not deceiving to get anything from the deception or the one deceived by it… other than to be left alone.


https://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/2013/11/02/being-a-child-of-narcissists-breaking-the-silence/

Mel said...

Vanesaa...that sure explains the extreme distress we saw with the hose incident.

Interesting comment, Alberta Girl, that she can hide Steve but wilfully exposes her son's issues, opening him up for torment.

#worstmomever

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Vanessa (#67), that comment reminded me of TFW's
"I'm in charge, and that's never gonna change."

But in 22 months, she'll have 8 teenagers under her roof.
That is, if she hasn't shipped off the ones she can't manage
to their father's house by then.

Vanessa said...

What’s a narcissistic parent? It’s someone who is self-absorbed, authoritarian (watch out for their outbursts), negative, a know-it-all, never culpable or blameworthy for anything, highly critical of others, secretive, cunning and conniving, manipulative, exploitive, stingy with others (but not themselves), ungrateful, a pathological liar (twists the truth with incredible ease), envious and competitive, deaf to other’s opinions, has zero empathy, doesn’t listen, doesn’t seek agreement (not a single ounce of agreeableness), brags and exaggerates, plays favorites (and it’s a rotating favorite list at that), has no boundaries, never asks you any questions, inept at basic manners, lacks a sense of humor (especially at themselves), and excels at making others feel guilty… He or she is one unhappy person who can successfully convince their targets that they are needed, and that without them their targets would be nothing.

It takes an extremely selfish and sick parent to inflict such harm onto their own child.

Any mature parent can set aside anger or hurt from a divorce and keep their child on neutral ground by refusing to enroll them in the middle of the conflict. But a narcissistic parent will be hell-bent on minimizing or even outright destroying the child’s relationship with the ex and unable to place their child out of the emotional turmoil. They can’t do it. In fact, they will actively bring pain to their own kids. That’s how mentally ill they are.

So how do you counter these parents, and is there hope for changing them? A sobering quote:

“Trying to reform narcissists by reasoning with them or by appealing to their better nature is about as effective as spitting in the ocean.”

That has been one of my biggest frustrations with my ex, thinking that reasoning with her and letting her eventually calm down and see for herself that I’m a good Dad would temper her behavior towards our son. But it never happened, and her actions even got worse over time. The sad reality is that you can’t change the narcissist. They don’t have the self-awareness or humility to see that they’re out of control and need help. They’re incapable of introspection. It’s deeply unfortunate, especially if your ex is the custodial parent and has ample amounts of time to transfer these narcissistic traits onto your child.

The only recourse for you is to be a normal parent, providing needed contrast for your child. It’s very important to insist that any behaviors in him or her that mimic your narcissistic ex are stomped out immediately. So if your child is flippant, rude, and lacking manners– and they will on many levels when they’ve been living with a narcissist– don’t tolerate it.

http://www.brainwashingchildren.com/the-narcissistic-parent/

Tucker's Mom said...

-The world revolves around her. Your mom has to be the center of attention at all times. She needs to be waited on and adored and expects you to provide her with all of the above and more.
**********
Wow, that's Kate, right there.
Tell me how wonderful and beautiful I am. Tell me how fit and skinny I am. Tell me how great my cooking is. Thank me for every meal I make you. Comfort me at all times. Congratulate me when I beat you in any competition.
It goes on and on.

Tucker's Mom said...

That "last 5 years were the best" comment was nothing more
than an F-U to her children's father
*****
It's nothing short of abusive to her kids, too.
She never misses an opportunity to let it be known that Jon was a big mistake- would look for the anti-Jon to date or marry.
Tells her kids to not make the same mistake when they marry.
It's sick.

I get that once you move on from a failed marriage, it can be very freeing and you are better off. But when you have kids, you just don't say that shit.
You don't.

P.J. said...

Vanessa, I really appreciate all the links and articles you post. It shows that we are not imagining things and that the problem is real, has been studied and it's not something we're making up. I suspect that anyone who doesn't see it, it is because they suffer from the same thing. They're as difficult to wrap ones head around as sKate herself.

Vanessa said...


On the other hand you might be the unlucky one, the one in the family who always gets the short end of the stick. No matter what you do, your parents, or one of them, never likes it. They are cold, distant, but when company drops by, they will put you on display and you have to perform, you have to make nice. God forbid you say the wrong thing. You will pay for it.

You may have a sibling who gets all the attention - no matter what they do - and no matter how hard you try, you will not admired like them. Instead you will be criticized, because is for you own good (sot the favorite one will not get jealous). You may start to turn inward, not let your inner feelings show, because they like to see you cringe, cry, and so you deny them that pleasure.

You may have trouble showing your true emotions later on in life, because you are afraid. But of what? When you were young, your emotions got you in trouble, for reasons you still don't understand. You feel incomplete, half alive, and your ego seems to be either at full blast or gone to sleep. You are shy, or the opposite. Not knowing how real people act, you are suspicious of strangers. Only your N mother or N father understands you, they say, so you are constantly going home, trying to recreate a childhood that never existed. Maybe you dream a lot, never grounded in reality, and miss things. If you are given a surprise party, you collapse into yourself, not wanting to be the center of attention, because someone else should get all the attention, not you. Deep down you hate your mother or father, and feel ashamed for the sentiment because everyone else thinks they are great.


http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/post-traumatic-stress-discussions/general-support/1116400-how-being-raised-by-a-narcissist-can-affect-us

Vanessa said...

These dark hidden punishments and chronic patterns of neglect are kept secret within the family. No one must ever say or even admit to himself or herself the truth about “mother.” That is the seal of secrecy that feels like a matter or life or death. These children feel so trapped. They know no one will believe them–not even other relatives or family friends. That is the essence of the narcissistic mother’s dark psychological and emotional treachery.
******************************************************************

So imagine the extra mind fuckery these kids have had to endure because of the scope of keeping "the secret"?
It's not just my little old childhood where I had to keep quiet to friends, neighbors, teachers etc. Can you imagine the THREATS and nightmare scenarios this bitch is drilling into their heads? MILLIONS of people need to be fooled! MILLIONS-plus their very existence (HERS) depends on keeping the secrets.
I remember her saying in one of her couch sessions that kids at school ask them about their show and she tells her kids to just say " I don't want to talk about that"
Sounds benign doesn't it?
Surrrreeeee that's what she's she's told them.
I imagine a lot, A LOT of threatening, tears, yelling, LIES, created scenarios...these kids are screwed way worse than other poor children of narc mothers.

swingsandroundabouts said...

Alberta Girl said...
I just find it disgusting that over the years, she has gone to extreme lengths to hide Steve's involvement in their lives from the audience, yet she couldn't put a little effort into protecting her son's privacy??

Oh - also wanted to add this: as a mother, how can she state that the last 5 years have been the best of her life, when her kids have struggled?

***********************************************************************

I totally agree. That was a good post and a good point about protecting Steve and not her own child.

Vanessa, I always appreciate your informative posts.


Vanessa said...

Vanessa, I really appreciate all the links and articles you post. It shows that we are not imagining things and that the problem is real, has been studied and it's not something we're making up. I suspect that anyone who doesn't see it, it is because they suffer from the same thing. They're as difficult to wrap ones head around as sKate herself.
********************************
Thanks PJ
I know I go overboard at times (please scroll by he links if not interested- Admin, thanks for always posting them:) but I can't seem to articulate what I KNOW is going on in that house.

Tucker's Mom said...

“Trying to reform narcissists by reasoning with them or by appealing to their better nature is about as effective as spitting in the ocean.”

*****
Like trying to nail jello to the wall.

Anonymous said...

Vanessa - I'd like to add my appreciation for the comments and links you have provided; they are most helpful in supporting the views expressed by all who are concerned about the Gosselin children and wish only the best for them. Thank you.

bm

Formerly Duped said...

Vanessa, ditto. I am grateful for your informative posts.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

he had to add in that they stayed in hotels in many countries of the world

Yep. Humblebraggert


&&&

Lol, she makes herself sound so worldly. She's been to, what, three foreign countries? Australia, New Zealand, and Mexico. Four if you count Canada, but who counts that? ;)

Everywhere she has been you could look out your hotel window at your resort and not have the foggiest idea you're outside the USA.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...



The more I read about how desperately Colin tried to please his mother with his birthday gift, and her vile response, the sicker I feel.


^^^^

This is where it's very clear she doesn't understand human emotions. A birthday gift from an 11 year old has nothing to do with whether you like the gift or actually wanted it or would buy it yourself if you saw it. If we all actually independently "liked" gifts from children we would be buying a lot of eclectic stuff on our own! You like the gift not because of what it is but because of who gave it to you and the love they gave it to you with. She doesn't understand this sort of basic human emotion.

The point is that he found something from his heart, something HE was pleased with and HE thought you would adore. That's what she should take satisfaction out of the gift. She should be so moved at how a child so desperately tried to please her. Instead she recoils.

Basically she acts like a spoiled housewife resentful that her husband got her a vacuum for their anniversary, and a day late too. Except it's your CHILD and there is no reason to be manipulative.

The sad thing is she is teaching her children the same. That the gift itself matters more than the love behind it. And that is a very sad lesson to be passing on indeed.

Sue_Buddy said...

foxy said... 59
What is the website that gives the ratings for TV shows? Thank you.
::::::::

I like TVbytheNumbers:

http://tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com/

There's another one but I can't remember the name.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who thinks she is probably campaigning to fill the seat on The View that was vacated just yesterday.

bm

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...



My husband and I are planning a trip to Europe next year, probably in Sept or Oct. We're looking to stay about 30 days and would like it to be a guided trip, with some built-in time for us to do things on our own. I've done searches and I'm not getting any good referrals. Most trips are only for 15 days or less.

&&&&

There aren't too many that will go that long. 2-3 weeks is usually the max. But you could combine two itineraries into one.

We usually tackle traveling on our own whether it's here or abroad but now and again have hooked up with a tour group for four or five days at a time to go to certain areas where you need a car or where it would be nice to have a guide. We've done Intrepid and Contiki. I think Contiki has an age limit but Intrepid is for anyone who likes travel in groups but doesn't like the tour bus thing, and travelers should be moderately physically fit since you do walk everywhere and on some tours hike. I've been with folks of all ages on Intrepid and had a ball. You become very close.

I would def suggest going it alone at least some of the time. You could easily handle London, Venice, Paris, Rome, or another major city on your own. Everyone speaks English and it's easy to get around. I think you might get sick of a tour group the entire time. You could schedule a week in London and/or Paris as you recover from jet lag then link up with a tour group for the remainder and have them take you down into France, maybe Germany, Switzerland and def **Italy**. Even though you have an entire month I would recommend keeping it limited to one country a week. You just can't see it all and when you cram too much in you will end up waking up in the morning not even remembering where you are.

Just my two cents!

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Admin (#83), I know you're still playing catch-up, but did you get
to the part where TFW tweeted to say this was the FIRST TIME
EVER that her children had gotten gifts for her on their own, and
thanked Deanna for taking them? But of course someone found
tweets to refute that. Busted!

And this tizzy of excitement over getting these personal gifts
makes her flat reaction to C's even more disturbing. I think
one of the kids should have taken her aside on camera and
asked how she would feel if one of her gifts was received so
ungraciously. Now that's a teachable moment I'd like to watch!

Tucker's Mom said...

Anonymous said... 85
Am I the only one who thinks she is probably campaigning to fill the seat on The View that was vacated just yesterday.

bm
July 9, 2015 at 8:06 AM
********
I think even Kate knows that's never going to happen. She's not even material for "The Real" crapfest of a talk show.
I think she's got no connections at The View. Barbara and Bill Geddie are gone. Her last visit with the twins was a total waste-those poor girls couldn't interview live, even though the cast was fluffing them like 5-year olds.
"So, who's you favorite singer? Do you think Justing Beiber is cute?"
Cara looked like she wanted to floor to swallow her up and Mady went into her sassy act.
Awful.

FYI said...

Sue_Buddy said... 84
foxy said... 59
What is the website that gives the ratings for TV shows? Thank you.
::::::::

I like TVbytheNumbers:

http://tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com/

There's another one but I can't remember the name.
---------------------------------------

The other site is http://www.showbuzzdaily.com/.

TVbythenumbers lists ratings for all shows whether new or rerun.

Showbuzzdaily lists ratings for original broadcasts only, not reruns.

Mel said...

They know no one will believe them–not even other relatives or family friends

Not even when you tell them. Not even when it happens in front of them and you point it out. They just say, uh, what's the big deal? Why are you fussing about that?

I'm just now starting to share some things about my spouse. People look at me like I'm the crazy one. I feel very alone in my life.

What they see is this nice, charming man. And he takes great care that that's all they *ever* see. The manipulation is so subtle that unless you know what to watch for, you'll never notice it.

Formerly Duped said...

I know...it was obvious TFW did not like or appreciate Collin's sweet mama bear and cub. And the bartering he had to do to secure it; he was so thankful (Kate could learn gratitude from her son) Collin had to 'explain' the gift to her and all she said was where were the other 7, it was 'interesting' and 'off the wall' Se oohed and ahhed over everyone else's. Why not say' Where are the other 7 turtles or Zorro figurine's?" She is an unkind shrew of a mother.

Mel said...

Vanessa...I, too, like your posts. They *so* help me to cope. It always helps to be reminded that I'm NOT the crazy one, I'm not over-reacting, mis-reading (as he likes to tell me). What you post is exactly how my spouse is. And my dil.

Many times I feel like the Colin of my family. Which is why I relate to him so easily, I suppose. I can't tell you how many times my heart is broken for him. I just want to hug the little guy and tell that he's just fine the way he is.

Sheri said...

Fired Up 4 Kate ‏@MiloandJack · 18h18 hours ago
Jon Gosselin Gets Dissed by Seasoned DJ http://explore-nj.com/?p=468 Oh wow...this is not good! So much 4the new budding career. Who is surprised?

********************************************

But you're not at all obsessed, are you Milo?

JMO said...

Vanessa - Great posts and links!

Welcome back Admin!

Sue_Buddy said...

Kate is a twit said... 89
The other site is http://www.showbuzzdaily.com/.
:::::

Ah, yes, ShowBuzzDaily.

I think I like TVbytheNumbers because it does my heart good when I see they can't make it into the Top 100. I always do a little happy dance when I see that.

FYI said...

I think Milo feels that by dissing Jon(although not directly to Kate) it will make Kate appreciate her even more. She apparently checks out Jon's twitter account. He tweeted a photo of a flyer for an appearance he's doing locally at Bldg 24, and she was very sarcastic and critical about it.

Here's the photo:

https://twitter.com/jgosselin10/status/618614445477134341/photo/1

Here's what Milo had to say. Of course, she doesn't tweet it to Jon, but does tweet to Gee Whiz.

Fired Up 4 Kate ‏@MiloandJack · 15h15 hours ago
Kind of odd to me. Hometown #WhiteAffair DJ debut & he is having #GoGoDancers ?? Who does that anymore? :)

Fired Up 4 Kate ‏@MiloandJack · 15h15 hours ago
@GeeWhiz__ I just can't picture this? #NancySinatra Didn't she sing that #BootsAreMadeForWalkin thing...LOL

Fired Up 4 Kate ‏@MiloandJack · 15h15 hours ago
@GeeWhiz__ Hometown Debut? #WhiteAffair Sounds so upscale...but goodness its' just rural PA! #LocalBar :)

So now who's the "bitter blackhearted busy body"?

Sheri said...

Is it just me or does anyone else find it odd that Milo doesn't tweet Kate her disses about Jon? Either they're to a few fellow sheeple or to no one at all. (At least the one I pasted and the ones KIAT just did.)

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...


Fired Up 4 Kate @MiloandJack · 15h15 hours ago
Kind of odd to me. Hometown #WhiteAffair DJ debut & he is having #GoGoDancers ?? Who does that anymore? :)




&&&&

Wth? I don't know Milo, ask the venue why they hired what they hired. Jon likely has nothing to do with the decisions on the entertainment and in many cases may not even know what will be there. Does she understand a DJ is just another contract worker hired to do a certain specific job and doesn't set up the event or decide how the event will proceed? What a doofus.

She is like a 10th grader who hates her BFF's ex as much as BFF does. Grow up. Why is she even worried about what he is up to?? He's making a living without using his kids to do so. Which is more than can be said of Kate.

FlimsyFlamsy said...

"Just rural PA" -- gosh, what a snotty thing for dear old
tenderhearted, church-goin' Gladys to say. Where the
heck does she live, Beverly Hills?

KIAT (#96), oh yes, Gladys stops at nothing to get her true
love's attention. Another illness or family accident should
be coming before the end of summer. Or at least some
fabricated "gosh, aren't teenagers challenging?" story
she'll wait for TFW to commiserate about.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...



The country has less debt under the "Community Organizer" (also law professor and member of Congress, but we won't mention that) than it did under his predecessor.

&&&&

Huh? The national debt has actually increased since Obama has been in office, by 7.1 TRILLION actually. This is the number even major liberal papers report, like the Washington Post.

As for jobs, my understanding is that under this administration's calculations, they don't factor in those who have "given up" on searching for a job. They only include people actively searching. Thus, that gives the numbers a big boost that is misleading, since a shit ton of people have given up. In any case, I don't know if jobs can be attributed so much to any president sitting in office as it can to the Treasury Dept. and natural ebbs and flows in the economy, individual state and community efforts, private sector initiatives, and other factors completely outside of a president's control. If one person is taking credit for all those efforts, I find that rather egotistical.

Mel said...

"Just rural PA" -- gosh, what a snotty thing for dear old
tenderhearted, church-goin' Gladys to say


As opposed to Kate, who is ever so worldly? Oh wait, she lives in 'just rural PA' also, doesn't she.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

On Flipping Out Jeff was working on a famous DJ's house and the DJ said he made half a million for just one New Year's Eve gig.

I think the sheep are threatened by Jon's recent success. As long as he has hit his stride, which he has, this could be a very lucrative and steady work for him. Certainly not half a million a night, but enough where he could be making as much or even more than Kate for only a few nights a week's work. The sheep are so sad when they feel threatened. They can't just be happy for him he found something he really enjoys, is good at it, doesn't hurt his kids, AND it pays the bills. Why can't the be mature?

swingsandroundabouts said...

Mel said ...

I'm just now starting to share some things about my spouse. People look at me like I'm the crazy one. I feel very alone in my life.

What they see is this nice, charming man. And he takes great care that that's all they *ever* see. The manipulation is so subtle that unless you know what to watch for, you'll never notice it.

********************************

Yes, exactly right. One has to have experienced living with a narcissist to appreciate the manipulation.

______________________________________________________

Many times I feel like the Colin of my family. Which is why I relate to him so easily, I suppose. I can't tell you how many times my heart is broken for him. I just want to hug the little guy and tell that he's just fine the way he is.

*************************

I so totally agree. Like others have also said, I totally empathize with Collin more than the other Gs except perhaps for Cara.

My mother passed away several months ago and I was so conflicted about that and about the relationship that we had. So many people told me what a lovely person she was, how kind, how thoughtful. I kept my thoughts to myself and sometimes wonder how it would be received if I actually described my relationship with my mother. However I have kept quiet all these years and now that she is gone I will continue to keep quiet. There is no point. I sometimes also feel guilty that I don't mourn her like others mourn the passing of their mothers, but I just don't have it in me. I don't say any of this for sympathy, as I don't want sympathy and I feel like a hypocrite for accepting condolences that I don't share.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

I guess Milo forgot that Kate and the kids are from rural PA too before she slammed it. She's losing it.

What does where you're from have to do with anything? The vast majority of successful entertainers were never originally from NY, LA, or other major entertainment hubs. You hit it big then move or at least work in those places, where you're from is irrelevant.

Blowing In The Wind said...

I just read this. Mother is guilty of parental alienation and judge removes the kids from her home and sends them to juvenile detention...

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/kids-locked-up-for-refusing-to-have-lunch-with-dad-123579270182.html

"“After more than five years in court and dozens of court appearances, Dr. Eibschitz-Tsimhoni is continuing to demonstrate her disregard for the well-being of the children and disrespect for the law and due process,” Omer Tsimhoni’s lawyer, Keri Middleditch, wrote in a statement to Yahoo Parenting. “This situation is traumatic for everyone involved, and it is unfortunate that the children are in shelter care due to the actions of their mother. [She] has continued to endorse the children’s behavior that she successfully instilled in them, effectively alienating them from their father. The court took severe action to attempt to remedy a heart-wrenching situation.” "

Blowing In The Wind said...

"Just rural PA" -- gosh, what a snotty thing for dear old
tenderhearted, church-goin' Gladys to say. Where the
heck does she live, Beverly Hills?

--------------------

lol! Yes, apparently Beverly Hills where they have forests, ponds, snakes and turtles in the street and wolves that attack in the middle of the night!

Millicent said...

fidosmommy said... 106

http://m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=N_qtvyuqmto

This video is "Cooking with the Twins". At about 18:30 Jon is home, Kate is grimacing in the kitchen over baked goods, and Joel has been a "vomitous boy" for awhile. Jon set him up in the master bedroom on a comforter on the floor at the foot of the bed. It is plainly shown.
*****
Thanks for finding the clip. I too had mis-remembered it as Jon putting Joel in their bed. At least he had some concern for Joel, and put him in a nicer spot. Maybe he knew there was no way Kate would allow Joel in the bed, so he did the next best thing, place him in their room so that he could be close during the night. No, Jon doesn't win Parent of the Year award for what he did, but at least he paid some attention to Joel and made some effort to take care of him.

Blowing In The Wind said...

Wth? I don't know Milo, ask the venue why they hired what they hired. Jon likely has nothing to do with the decisions on the entertainment and in many cases may not even know what will be there. Does she understand a DJ is just another contract worker hired to do a certain specific job and doesn't set up the event or decide how the event will proceed? What a doofus.

----------------------

Gladys is a picker and a poker, and it's not passive-aggressive anymore. It's just downright nasty. She doesn't have the foggiest idea what a DJ does or how he/she is contracted. The only thing she can understand is her eternal love for Kate. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, Kate without end. ... Amen. Go in peace.

Ingrid said...

"Just rural PA" But People paps are going to be there. People hasn't been interested in Kate for quite a while.

.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...



Gladys is a picker and a poker, and it's not passive-aggressive anymore. It's just downright nasty. She doesn't have the foggiest idea what a DJ does or how he/she is contracted.


&&&

The way she always seems to want to hold Jon accountable for the party itself, I think she thinks a DJ is a party planner.

No, Milo, only at 10th birthday parties. A professional DJ sits, or stands, among their subwoofers with their laptop and is responsible for putting together a fun set of tunes and keeping the music end of the party going until they are asked to shut it down. It takes skill and procession, a vast knowledge of all sorts of music and how that music can contribute to the vibe of the festivities, and a host of other talents. It's a bit different than putting together a iTunes smart playlist, and any real DJ would not be responsible for, or even aware of, what all else is being arranged for the party by party planners, event coordinators, caterers, and other workers.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

Judges remove kids from parental alienators all the time if it's bad enough. Seen it. They then place them with the other parent. Why were the children not placed with the other parent?

Vanessa said...

This is where it's very clear she doesn't understand human emotions
**********************************
Key word here- HUMAN


Thanks for the thanks my peeps:)

FYI said...

Hey Milo--Taylor Swift is from Wyomissing, the same "rural PA" and according to Wikipedia, she played a lot of local places before she moved to Nashville.

At the age of nine, Swift became interested in musical theatre and performed in numerous Berks Youth Theatre Academy productions.[22] She also traveled regularly to Broadway for vocal and acting lessons.[23] Swift later turned her attention to country music—Shania Twain's songs made her "want to just run around the block four times and daydream about everything."[24] She spent her weekends performing at local festivals, coffeehouses, fairs, karaoke contests, garden clubs, Boy Scout meetings and sporting events.[8][11][25] At the age of eleven, after many failed attempts,[26] Swift won a local talent competition and was given the opportunity to appear as the opening act for Charlie Daniels at a Strausstown amphitheater.[27]"

I'm not saying that Jon is of the same caliber of Taylor Swift, but most singers, etc. do get their start playing locally.

Hell, Billy Joel played local bars in rural LI, and look where he is now!!

Sheri said...

Mel said...(101)

"Just rural PA" -- gosh, what a snotty thing for dear old
tenderhearted, church-goin' Gladys to say

As opposed to Kate, who is ever so worldly? Oh wait, she lives in 'just rural PA' also, doesn't she.

*********************************************

Exactly! How does Milo not see the hypocrisy when it's so blatant and obvious? Her head must REALLY be in there good.

Mel, my heart goes out to you. You are not alone, at least not here. Many of us can relate and understand what you are going through.

I hope you family and friends in your life that you can find refuge in. And you can always come here for a virtual hug and a straw for the keg.

Assuming franky didn't drink it all...

Hey franky, you still under there? You must have worn out that orange straw by now. :D

Vanessa said...

Fired Up 4 Kate @MiloandJack · 15h15 hours ago
Kind of odd to me. Hometown #WhiteAffair DJ debut & he is having #GoGoDancers ?? Who does that anymore? :)
****************************************
I don't know Gladys, who the hell does "french tips" anymore? Who the hell fake bakes anymore? Who the hell makes every meal using 20 Campbell's soup cans? Who the hell is in love with a bitch that still thinks she's living in 2006?
STFU.

Vanessa said...

No, Jon doesn't win Parent of the Year award for what he did, but at least he paid some attention to Joel and made some effort to take care of him.
**************************************
Agree.
He was in the a bedroom, carpet on the floor, tv, lights on, door open.

That bitch put him in the laundry room, linoleum floor, lights off, door closed.

JMO said...

Sometimes I think that TFW does communicate with Gladyce "in other ways" to mock Jon. Her chronic tweets on Jon's DJ gig are way over the top. Guess since TFW is a "national" star (LOL), "someone" seems to want to mock him. Didn't these two just go to Court? Somebody is not happy and it's not Jon. Of course, this is pure speculation but it does seem a little over the top with TMI for even Gladyce. Who knows?

Sheri said...

swingsandroundabouts said...(103)

"However I have kept quiet all these years and now that she is gone I will continue to keep quiet. There is no point. I sometimes also feel guilty that I don't mourn her like others mourn the passing of their mothers, but I just don't have it in me. I don't say any of this for sympathy, as I don't want sympathy and I feel like a hypocrite for accepting condolences that I don't share."

************************************

Thank you Swings for sharing that. No sympathy from me but I do very much empathize. My narc mother is still very much alive though I haven't seen or talked to her in over 15 years.

I've often wondered what I'll do when she finally does pass away.

Will I show up at her funeral and give my condolences to those people she didn't treat like crap and label a liar? Will I shake hands and fake sincerity with people who knew she was abusing me and did nothing?

Personally, I think it takes a lot of guts and shows great character that you showed up, made the rounds and kept the peace. Just because you didn't share the feeling of loss does not make you a hypocrite.

You allowed others to share their feelings of grief with you, something that I'm sure made them feel better. That's not hypocrisy, that is strength.

As it stands, if my mother died tomorrow I would likely not show up to any service or memorial. I would only go to make sure the bitch is really dead and that's kinda rude.

And we Canadians don't really do rude very well. ;)

MikeB said...

Kate's complete snubbing of Collins's gift continues to get under my skin. Collin's gift was bought with thoughtfulness and meaning. Kate completely ignored the humanity and looked only at the object and her desires.

Since she loves tweeting platitudes so much, maybe she can pick a few from this site and try to learn a gift isn't about the object but rather about the emotions the gift giver has for the recipient.

http://www.mamashealth.com/nquotes/gifts.asp

A few of my favorites:

"It isn't the size of the gift that matters, but the size of the heart that gives it." ~Eileen Elias Freeman

"There is generosity in giving, but gentleness in receiving." ~Freya Stark

"May no gift be too small to give, nor too simple to receive, which is wrapped in thoughtfulness, and tied with love." ~L.O. Baird

and I'll throw in one from a book I loved in my youth:

"The giving of this gift honours us, and in accepting it we return honor to the giver." - Stephen R. Donaldson

Vanessa said...

Sheri said... 97
Is it just me or does anyone else find it odd that Milo doesn't tweet Kate her disses about Jon? Either they're to a few fellow sheeple or to no one at all. (At least the one I pasted and the ones KIAT just did.)
********************************
Never noticed, but I don't "do" twitter. But verrrrry interesting. She's a little weasel snake like her hero.

Tucker's Mom said...

Blowing In The Wind said... 105
I just read this. Mother is guilty of parental alienation and judge removes the kids from her home and sends them to juvenile detention...

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/kids-locked-up-for-refusing-to-have-lunch-with-dad-123579270182.html
******
I can't wrap my head around how this could happen in America. Frankly, my guess is the mother is a parental-alienating nutjob, but really? The kids go to juvie?

P.J. said...

Hey, swingsandroundabouts said... 103, I hear ya. When I got the call that my mother had died I felt nothing but relief. And I don't feel one iota of grief or guilt or anything else about her. She means nothing to me and I won't apologise for that. I don't discuss it with people because most of them would be shocked. But who's really being honest. I had lunch with an old friend the other day and the way she talked about her drunk, cheating father shocked me. She talked as if the man walked on water. To each their own, I guess.

Vanessa said...

Gladys is a man hater, period. just like tfw.

swimgirl said...

As for jobs, my understanding is that under this administration's calculations, they don't factor in those who have "given up" on searching for a job. They only include people actively searching.
**************
No administration's calculations factor in people who have given up the job search. The figures are determined by the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) of the U.S. Department of Labor. The formula is the same regardless of the president. The following provides a good explanation of how the unemployment numbers are derived. http://www.bls.gov/cps/cps_htgm.htm

Vanessa said...

@ Mel and Swingsaroundandabouts

It really doesn't matter, does it? gender, race, social status-if you are the victim of narcissistic abuse it's pretty much the same story with varying degrees of atrocities. Don't feel alone! Gosh, look at all of us SURVIVORS here! lol YOU are NOT alone, NOT crazy, NOT awful for not "feeling" what you think you're supposed to feel (or told!!)
Hope you'll find peace Mel and I hope peace has come to you Swings

Tucker's Mom said...

Vanessa said... 116
No, Jon doesn't win Parent of the Year award for what he did, but at least he paid some attention to Joel and made some effort to take care of him.
**************************************
Agree.
He was in the a bedroom, carpet on the floor, tv, lights on, door open.

That bitch put him in the laundry room, linoleum floor, lights off, door closed.

*****
Jon made the best choice he could. Tons better than the laundry room floor.

Tucker's Mom said...

I've often wondered what I'll do when she finally does pass away.

Will I show up at her funeral and give my condolences to those people she didn't treat like crap and label a liar? Will I shake hands and fake sincerity with people who knew she was abusing me and did nothing?
******
You can be very British and just do the stiff upper lip.
Keep calm and carry on, and all that.

I would be kind to be there to bring comfort to those who love you mother, as misguided and ill-placed as it is.
You're there for them, not for her, and what good does it do anyone to "set the record straight" at that point?

You know what you know, and that's all that matters.

Then again, if you don't go, everyone can suck it ;-)

Vanessa said...

I had lunch with an old friend the other day and the way she talked about her drunk, cheating father shocked me. She talked as if the man walked on water. To each their own, I guess.
****************************************************
Funny, I also that was treated worse by her mother than I was by mine. But she NEVER says a bad word about her. She, to this day, is still wanting that approval, that "love", whatever she thinks it might be. Not even sure she knows. It's such a dysfunctional relationship. She still jumps when her mother beckons and takes her nastiness. I, on the other hand l(ike some here) have put a distance between myself and my mother and I ask her WHY she still feels she needs to keep her in her life. She has no answer. I believe it's co-dependency, it's all she knows. This is exactly how I feel about Colin. Lord help him with choosing a mate.

foxy said...

Sue_Buddy 84 and Kate is a Twit 89. Thank you for those sites

FlimsyFlamsy said...

MikeB (#119), thanks for those lovely quotes about gifts. How
can a woman have gotten through 40 years of life without the
basic human social skill of graciousness? And through almost
15 years as a mother without at least learning to fake it when
necessary, for the sake of their tender hearts?

Vanessa said...

Blowing In The Wind said... 105
I just read this. Mother is guilty of parental alienation and judge removes the kids from her home and sends them to juvenile detention...

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/kids-locked-up-for-refusing-to-have-lunch-with-dad-123579270182.html
******
I can't wrap my head around how this could happen in America. Frankly, my guess is the mother is a parental-alienating nutjob, but really? The kids go to juvie?
***************************************
The judge sounds like the biggest nutjob! WTF?

PA Dutch Mom said...

Hell, Billy Joel played local bars in rural LI, and look where he is now!!

&&&&&&&&&&&

Just married, and at age 66, expecting a new arrival any time now!

I was just on several ticket sites trying to find good seats for Billy in Baltimore! James Taylor is in Hershey tonight, but there might be severe storms brewing, and I'm just not sure I want to risk being in Hershey with tornado warnings and having to seek shelter.

Gladys is nuts. I doubt it's a clinical diagnosis, but the shoe certainly does fit. She is such a conundrum, a crazy mix of good kind, gentle, sweet, positive Godly Southern Christian wife/mother, and a mean, nasty, bitter, spiteful middle-aged woman (or man) obsessed with a reality star has-been. You just never know which one will spring forth. I wouldn't trust that one any farther than I could throw her. I wonder if she has any friends at all, other than those faux tweeties she engages on Twitter in her hatred of Jon and her lust for Kate.

If Kate isn't concerned about Jon's DJ job, why is Milo making this her business with her sniping and belittling? Rhetorical question, I know. There's no cure for whatever ails her, other than Kate finally professing her undying love for her. That might keep her busy for awhile and out of everyone's hair, including Jon's.

Millicent said...

Mel said... 174
http://www.inquisitr.com/2235194/jill-duggar-and-derick-dillards-mission-location-revealed-where-in-the-world-are-the-19-kids-and-counting-stars/

I didn't realize that the young husband smokes. You'd think that would be as much of a sin as a woman letting her ankles be seen.
******
I didn't see where Derick was smoking. As to this couple going to El Salvador to try to convert Catholics to the Duggar form of "christianity," all I can say is "ugh!" and good luck, because most of the Catholics in El Salvador (and the rest of the world), consider themselves Christian already, you doofuses!

I think TLC might have been prepared to help fund Derrick and Jill's missionary trip by filming some of their experiences for the show. That would fit in with the cliffhanger announcement at the end of last season, that Jill and Derrick had big news for the family. Then the molestation scandal erupted, TLC abruptly puts all filming plans on indefinite hiatus, and Derick has already severed his employment with Wal-Mart, so now what? I guess that's when they decided to ask their fans to send them money to finance their mission trip, without even revealing where they would be going. I shake my head at people who are willing to give these guys their hard-earned money.

I think Derrick and Jill may also want to get away from the publicity and scandal of Josh's molestations. They'll probably just traipse around El Salvador, handing out tracts about how Catholics worship false idols, offend any number of people, and delude themselves into thinking they are actually doing some good for the people of that country.

Tucker's Mom said...

TweetLeDe_TweetLeDum ‏@Tweetle_0 2h2 hours ago
@pinkheart07 @Kateplusmy8 Those little kids shouldn't be the object of your laughter so their no-talent mother can make big bucks Poor kids.
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The_Bint ‏@pinkheart07 1h1 hour ago
@Tweetle_0 @Kateplusmy8 excuse me! This show is for family. Not just her. I'm sure if she needed to she would work at a deskjob. #dontjudge
*******
Oh, I can barely type, I'm laughing so hard. This sheep can not be this dumb!
Yeah, Kate would work at McDonalds!

P.J. said...

Sheri said...

As it stands, if my mother died tomorrow I would likely not show up to any service or memorial. I would only go to make sure the bitch is really dead and that's kinda rude.

8888888888888888888888888

Bwahaha! I heard that line about making sure they're really dead a while ago and I howled. Too funny. Maybe you could go up to the coffin and stick a needle in her.

You know, I'm all about forgive and forget and not holding on to resentments, but why does dying make people into saints? I never could understand that. It's like winning the lottery. If you were an asshole before, now you're just a rich asshole.

Tucker's Mom said...

FlimsyFlamsy said... 130
MikeB (#119), thanks for those lovely quotes about gifts. How
can a woman have gotten through 40 years of life without the
basic human social skill of graciousness? And through almost
15 years as a mother without at least learning to fake it when
necessary, for the sake of their tender hearts?
******
This is the woman who tossed a handmade carved piece about love and family! Same one who told Steve to sort through all the gifts her fans brought to her, and keep the good stuff. Toss the rest.
The number of thank you notes that Kate and her kids have never written could fill her manse.

PA Dutch Mom said...

Vanessa said... 123
Gladys is a man hater, period. just like tfw.

&&&&&&&&&

You know, I've wondered about this. She talks about her hubs sometimes with affection, but there are times when she has hinted that the marriage isn't one bed of roses and it sounds like it's because he rules the roost, his position is one of dominance in the family. Twitter is one way of releasing her pent-up anger and feeling of subservience and Jon is her target. It's a kind of seamless hissing (credit to Aiken, Silent Snow, Secret Snow) that may be seething from within.

I may be over-thinking this, and it's just a garden-variety case of doofusness.

swingsandroundabouts said...

Sheri and PJ, thanks for your comments. It is nice to hear from those who share the same experiences and to feel as if I am not alone in continually swimming upstream with regards to my mother. You made me tear up with your kind words.

PA Dutch Mom said...

Oh, I can barely type, I'm laughing so hard. This sheep can not be this dumb!

&&&&&&&&&&&

They can be, and they are. I sometimes wish that there would have been a journal kept of Silly Sheeple Sayings.

PA Dutch Mom said...

I didn't see where Derick was smoking.

&&&&&&&&&

There's a picture of him standing in a doorway or closet or something, with what looks like a cigarette in his right hand. It's kind of difficult to tell, though, if that's what it is. I wasn't even sure if it was Derick. It's scruffy enough to be him, but I don't know.

Millicent said...

Tucker's Mom said... 197

http://explore-nj.com/?p=468

What is it with Jon's relationships imploding when they end?
Warning: You WILL lose IQ points reading this "DJ" dude's like, yo, um, thoughts, bro.
******
I read through the transcript and don't know what to make of the whole mess, but DJ Koolie Kirk sounds very bitter. It's hard to take him seriously.

"Just so we are clear, I have been DJ’ing for the better part of over 10 years and have won the Mountain Dew mix off two years in a row for Power 99, Philadelphia."

I'm not familiar with the world of DJ's, but is it really a huge deal to have won a DJ mix off for what I presume is a local radio station out of Philadelphia? One piece of advice for this disappointed DJ -- a verbal agreement is hard to enforce. Next time, get it in writing.

Sheri said...

MikeB said...(117)

"Kate's complete snubbing of Collins's gift continues to get under my skin. Collin's gift was bought with thoughtfulness and meaning. Kate completely ignored the humanity and looked only at the object and her desires.

Since she loves tweeting platitudes so much, maybe she can pick a few from this site and try to learn a gift isn't about the object but rather about the emotions the gift giver has for the recipient."

**********************************************

I have not commented yet on this but I feel the same way. It's simply unnerving that any mother could be so callous.

I have another quote but I don't know the source. I only know that I heard it once and for some reason it resonated with me and I've kept it close to my heart ever since.

"Never refuse a gift from a child."

From the dirty rocks and wilted dandelions my children brought home for me to the dust covered floor cheerios my friend's 18 month old fed me, they were from the heart...the heart of a child.

A gift from a child is sacred and should always be accepted with appreciation and delight. And of course, followed by a hearty "Why, thank you!"

In this case, Kate didn't actually refuse the gift but she may as well have. I think what she did was actually worse in that she accepted it but at the same time dismissed and downplayed it.

Poor little guy. Tries so hard only to receive an "I don't get it."

No Kate, you don't get it and it looks like you never will.

Millicent said...

TLC stinks said... 32

I watched the vomitus Joel part and I agree that Jon did not get upset, but for some reason I remember it differently. Could it have been swiffered?
*****
I wonder the same thing. My memory of watching that episode was being horrified when Kate put Joel down on the laundry room floor with a thin blanket and then leaving him alone in there with a barf bucket and shutting the door! I distinctly remember that because I was shocked at her actions. I also remember Jon arriving home, finding Joel alone on the laundry room floor and being upset with Kate about it, and then taking Joel and putting him in the bedroom.

So why do I have those distinct memories, but now the clip shows something different?

Unknown said...

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said... 111
''Judges remove kids from parental alienators all the time if it's bad enough. Seen it. They then place them with the other parent. Why were the children not placed with the other parent?''
~~~~~~~
Someone will have probably answered this question by the time I get this posted, but I'm going to post anyway.

The Judge said that the mother had succeeded in ''effectively alienating them from their father'' when they refused to even have lunch with their father.

Since the Judge didn't think they should be around their mother and they refused to be around their father he put them in juvie for contempt of court.

I wonder why he chose Juvie instead of foster care. Maybe it was his thought that they would then choose to see their father as a way out?

I do agree that it was a drastic decision, but the court battle between the mother and the Judge had been going on for five years! Parental alienation is a nasty nasty thing!

Sheri said...

Tucker's Mom said...(127)

I've often wondered what I'll do when she finally does pass away.

Will I show up at her funeral and give my condolences to those people she didn't treat like crap and label a liar? Will I shake hands and fake sincerity with people who knew she was abusing me and did nothing?
******
You can be very British and just do the stiff upper lip.
Keep calm and carry on, and all that.

I would be kind to be there to bring comfort to those who love you mother, as misguided and ill-placed as it is.
You're there for them, not for her, and what good does it do anyone to "set the record straight" at that point?

You know what you know, and that's all that matters.

Then again, if you don't go, everyone can suck it ;-)"

****************************************

Hehehe, Tucker's...

If I went to my mother's funeral it would be only to make my own peace, not about setting the record straight with anyone.

If people love my mother because she deserved their love then have at it. I would never dream of raining on their parade. I have absolutely no desire to make a scene, otherwise I would while she's still alive to witness it.

No, I've given up the ghost and accepted that things are what they are and that I've at least done my best to protect myself from her. It's all I can do.

And yes, exactly, if I have a last minute change of heart, I might go and I, in true Canadian fashion, will be polite.

But if I don't go, hells yeah, they can suck it and say what they want about me. I don't have Facebook so I won't see it anyway. ;)

PA Dutch Mom said...

MikeB said... 119
Kate's complete snubbing of Collins's gift continues to get under my skin. Collin's gift was bought with thoughtfulness and meaning. Kate completely ignored the humanity and looked only at the object and her desires.

&&&&&&&&&&

I didn't watch the show, but I have read accounts of this, and it doesn't surprise me at all. That's the way that she is. Her brain isn't wired right; she has never been able to think before she acts or speaks, and in a social situation she can't seem to say or do what most people would consider acceptable. As a parent, this is even more despicable.

Have any of the fans tweeted about this, or are they deflecting and ignoring? How any of them couldn't see that her behavior toward Collin was heartless just defies any logic. Then again, they really aren't known for their critical thinking ability.

FlimsyFlamsy said...

PA Dutch Mom (#137), Gladys made a particularly snarky
comment about Jon a few months ago. Someone had mixed
him up with an athlete with the same last name, and Gladys
jumped in to tweet something like, "He's in no shape to play professional sports:)!" Hey, Gladys, what shape are you in?
What shape is your husband in? Your kids? Can we see
some pictures? Why is Jon -- the father of the 8 children you
claim to care soooo much about -- your whipping boy when
you don't even know him, yet you keep your own life so
very private?

Anonymous said...

K was more excited about the tiny crab on the beach than she was about C's gift. It was the perfect gift from child to mother. His feelings must have been hurt in front of the family, restaurant staff and film crew. Did she really not understand the gift?
Long time L

Tucker's Mom said...

I think Derrick and Jill may also want to get away from the publicity and scandal of Josh's molestations. They'll probably just traipse around El Salvador, handing out tracts about how Catholics worship false idols, offend any number of people, and delude themselves into thinking they are actually doing some good for the people of that country.
*****
I really never knew how much they dislike and disavow Catholics.
And no, Jessa's husband, I don't believe you have Catholic friends because no friend would withstand your condescension and judgement.
As a Catholic, I have NEVER witnessed our community, priests and nuns put any other religion down. Never.
Never tell us they're wrong, and we're right. Never.
We just mind our own business and do what we do, so it's shocking to hear the preoccupation with us.
They sound, dare I say, jellus?

PA Dutch Mom said...

Sometimes I think that TFW does communicate with Gladyce "in other ways" to mock Jon.

&&&&&&&&&

Is this a new spelling variation of Gladys? it seems a little bit formal and uppity for someone who lives in "just rural Georgia." :)

KyPastor said...

A middle aged woman called one day many years ago to plan her father's graveside services. I had never met either one. She told me first thing that her father was a miserable, abusive, mindgame playing parent and husband whose death she would not grieve for one second. She quickly followed that with a comment that he had a lot of friends he had great relationships with. They were not aware of the abuse. She asked me to gauge the service for their ears, to address their loss. She would be there to support those friends, not to honor her father.
As surprising as that meeting was, I was impressed with her decision.

Millicent said...

MikeB @ 119 said:
"May no gift be too small to give, nor too simple to receive, which is wrapped in thoughtfulness, and tied with love." ~L.O. Baird
*****
I enjoyed all the quotes you shared, but this was my favorite.

PA Dutch Mom said...

"Just so we are clear, I have been DJ’ing for the better part of over 10 years and have won the Mountain Dew mix off two years in a row for Power 99, Philadelphia."

I'm not familiar with the world of DJ's, but is it really a huge deal to have won a DJ mix off for what I presume is a local radio station out of Philadelphia?

&&&&&&&&&&

I have no idea if this is a great honor, similar to a Grammy for songwriting in the world of music, but I really did have to chuckle and snort when I read "Mountain Dew" mix off, wondering if this was one step up from the "Mellow Yello" spin-to-win contest in Newark.

Midnight Madness said...

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said... 111
Judges remove kids from parental alienators all the time if it's bad enough. Seen it. They then place them with the other parent. Why were the children not placed with the other parent?

*********************
I know! This is just really strange, but perhaps there was more going on there than is indicated in this story. However, the judge spoke so highly of the kids' father that it's really odd that he just didn't grant him custody of them. What's really sad is that not only were those kids removed from the home, but they were split up. The youngest is only nine, and the court-ordered duration is until they are 18.

Tucker's Mom said...

If people love my mother because she deserved their love then have at it. I would never dream of raining on their parade. I have absolutely no desire to make a scene, otherwise I would while she's still alive to witness it.
*****
You could don a bright RED suit, with an enormous, elaborate RED chapeau, replete with black blusher.

Sort of like this, but RED.

;-)

yes, I'm a little evil sometimes.

Formerly Duped said...

Millicent said... 143

TLC stinks said... 32
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Funny, I remember the episode differently too. But it's there on the video that Jon did leave Joel in the laundry room for a while, anyhow, and told him to go to sleep."You go night-night, bud" You would think he was agreeing with this treatment .Kate explained the laundry room plan in the couch interview.. When I first watched, it seemed Jon moved Joel right away, not around dinnertime when it was dark.It was light out when Kate put J in the LR.

Some episodes are no longer on YouTube. I wonder if some just refuse to be Swiffered! I honestly think Jon was afraid of Kate in those days or maybe of being filmed with her verbally abusing him.I do believe he has the children's best interests at heart and now is trying to step up to the plate as a parent.

P.J. said...

swingsandroundabouts said... 138
Sheri and PJ, thanks for your comments. It is nice to hear from those who share the same experiences and to feel as if I am not alone in continually swimming upstream with regards to my mother. You made me tear up with your kind words.

8888888888888888888888888888

One way of deflating any anger or hatred towards your mother is to imagine her as a little girl, and imagine the trauma she suffered to bring out her narcissism. It doesn't excuse it, but it softens the way you think of her. Picture her as a child. I sometimes feel that way about Kate. What happened to turn her into the person she is today? And there really is no cure. She would have to accept it and actively work to learn social cues and behaviours.

Mel said...

Swings....I know just what you mean about feeling hypocritical, and guilty at the same time.

And also about swimming upstream...that you truly are. No point in saying anything now. People choose not to get it, and it just makes you look bad.

The very few people in my life who get it, often ask me how I'll feel when he dies. Like you, I'll feel hypocritical accepting condolences, and yet guilty for not mourning. Although I will be mourning, just not in the way they think. I'll be mourning what could have been, what I wanted and didn't get.

As I'm discovering, you're doing the right thing saying nothing. No one understands anyway (or they choose not to understand), and the narc excels in setting it up so that you look like *you*re being the b*tchy one if you do say anything. More power to you that you can take the high road.

So many people told me what a lovely person she was, how kind, how thoughtful.

I get that a lot. People are like...what? how can you say anything against that charming man? you don't appreciate how wonderful he is?

Yeah, well, try crossing him once. Or living with him. He can put on quite the charming act for an hour or two. Behind closed doors is a whole 'nother story.

I'm sorry that you didn't get the normal 'mom' relationship that you wanted. I also won't offer you sympathy, but I will offer understanding and compassion. And the thought that you're not alone...even though you feel very alone in your 'real' life, you're not alone here.

Mel said...

I think that's why so many of us are here (or still here)...we were trying to make some sense out of the narc's in our lives. We recognized TFW right away for what she was. Maybe not consciously, but certainly on a sub-conscious level. We recognized the behaviors instantaneously.

We watched, hoping that we could maybe better understand what was going on with our own narc. And that somehow there would be a better ending for those kids. But there wasn't a better ending, and it's only getting worse for them. Especially Colin.

And now it's not interesting to watch anymore. Just painful. So I stopped watching.

FlimsyFlamsy said...

PA Dutch Mom (#153), I don't want to brag, but I was
second-runner-up in the "Caffeine Free Diet Dr. Pepper"
Musical Chairs Tournament. I would've won, but some
people won't budge no matter how hard you shove them.

Off to my time-out spot under the veranda. Deal me in,
ladies!

Mel said...

I think TLC might have been prepared to help fund Derrick and Jill's missionary trip by filming some of their experiences for the show. That would fit in with the cliffhanger announcement at the end of last season, that Jill and Derrick had big news for the family. Then the molestation scandal erupted, TLC abruptly puts all filming plans on indefinite hiatus, and Derick has already severed his employment with Wal-Mart, so now what? I guess that's when they decided to ask their fans to send them money to finance their mission trip, without even revealing where they would be going.

Millicent...I think you nailed it there!

Sheri said...

I feel a *GROUP HUG* coming. :)

Eight is More Than Enough said...

Gladys is a picker and a poker, and it's not passive-aggressive anymore. It's just downright nasty. She doesn't have the foggiest idea what a DJ does or how he/she is contracted. The only thing she can understand is her eternal love for Kate. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, Kate without end. ... Amen. Go in peace.
-----
Probably think DJ stands for Damn Jon

Mel said...

JMO said... 117
Sometimes I think that TFW does communicate with Gladyce "in other ways" to mock Jon. Her chronic tweets on Jon's DJ gig are way over the top. Guess since TFW is a "national" star (LOL), "someone" seems to want to mock him.


Well, we all know that TFW is the 'face of TLC', whilst Jon is just a nobody from rural PA.

It's those over the top digs at Jon that make me think that Gladys *is* TFW. They have that ring of hate and spitefulness that TFW spews.

(Or else Gladys is very hateful towards someone/something else in her life, and this is the only way she has to express it.)

It could also explain why TFW is on the tweet list for them. No need to tweet it to yourself, eh?

Mel said...

It could also explain why TFW is on the tweet list for them. No need to tweet it to yourself, eh?

That should be 'is NOT on the tweet list'

Probably think DJ stands for Damn Jon

Haha....that's it!

Sheri said...

P.J. said... 157

"One way of deflating any anger or hatred towards your mother is to imagine her as a little girl, and imagine the trauma she suffered to bring out her narcissism. It doesn't excuse it, but it softens the way you think of her. Picture her as a child. I sometimes feel that way about Kate. What happened to turn her into the person she is today? And there really is no cure. She would have to accept it and actively work to learn social cues and behaviours."

***********************

P.J., I know exactly where you're coming from. I did the same thing...it works. Though only if you don't verbalize said thoughts to said parent.

I made the mistake of actually saying to my mother, when I was still naive enough to think it might make a difference, how hard she must have had it growing up.

She lived in three bedroom home with seven brothers and sisters, a harried mother and a salesman father who was gone most of the time.

I was not even being accusatory, I thought I was merely empathizing. Well, you would have thought it was an inquisition.

Her response, "What do you know about my childhood? I had a wonderful childhood. My parents loved me, I had brothers and sisters and we all got along."

Of course I didn't believe it. But it broke my heart even more to know that even faced with an out to justify her treatment of me, she stood by the lies.

Somethings just are.

AuntieAnn said...

P.J. said... 135

You know, I'm all about forgive and forget and not holding on to resentments, but why does dying make people into saints? I never could understand that. It's like winning the lottery. If you were an asshole before, now you're just a rich asshole.

====


Meh, this forgiveness thing is overblown.

DH's stepmother, the abusive, child beating warden who raised him, planned her own funeral long before she passed away. I guess she might have sensed that her stepkids might just throw her behind a bush when she died so she made her own arrangements. She bought herself the most expensive casket in the funeral home and -- get this -- it came with a five-year warranty. (Oh the jokes we made about THAT after she croaked).

Her funeral was a sad affair as hardly anyone showed up to see her hermetically sealed rolls-royce of a coffin. She had established her reputation as an abusive, tight-fisted old woman whom few liked. She had a bulging bank account and thousands in savings and bonds, but lived like a freaking hermit. One small example, one time she joined a bridge club and when it came her turn to host the weekly game she charged the women a quarter for every cup of coffee they drank. When they dropped her from their little group and she couldn't understand why because that's how narcs think.

She spent her last years wallowing in self-pity, lamenting her loneliness.

FlimsyFlamsy said...

Mel (#164), nah, TFW barely musters the energy to be one
person -- she could never manage to be 2! But I bet every
time Gladys reads the theory that she and TFW are the same
person, it makes her Single White Female heart swell with joy.
Talk about being "Close To You!"

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

As long as the father is a good parent the judge should have just placed the children with him kicking and screaming. When parental alienation is that bad sometimes you have to just rip the bandaid. The kids may hate it but they have no chance of getting through the alienation unless forced to be with their parent. I commend the judge for taking the bull by the horns though.

fidosmommy said...

I just looked at the ratings and TLC had one show in the top 100 on Tuesday. Little Couple Big World came in at right around #50. That's it.

Jane said...

Wow, that GeeWhiz_ person on Twitter is one true sicko. She sure is helping Kate's timeline look pleasant, upbeat and motherly. ( snark )

P.J. said...

Sheri said...

I made the mistake of actually saying to my mother, when I was still naive enough to think it might make a difference, how hard she must have had it growing up.

8888888888888888888888888888

I never had to bring up my mother's childhood. She constantly let us know how hard SHE had it and how lucky we were. Not my widowed grandmother with 8 kids under the age of 10, but her and her woe begotten life. But I do know that my mother was only 7 years old when her father was killed in a farm accident and back in those days you didn't go to the hospital, so he died an agonizing death at home. I can only imagine the trauma for the 8 kids in that house. She never talked about that, but it must have been her turning point.

swingsandroundabouts said...

Thanks for all the words of wisdom, the stories, and the advice from all the wonderful posters here. At some point we all come to terms with what is, and although it can be a painful journey we all get there eventually.

Yes, group hug. :)

Millicent said...

Tucker's Mom said... 149

I think Derrick and Jill may also want to get away from the publicity and scandal of Josh's molestations. They'll probably just traipse around El Salvador, handing out tracts about how Catholics worship false idols, offend any number of people, and delude themselves into thinking they are actually doing some good for the people of that country.
*****
I really never knew how much they dislike and disavow Catholics.
And no, Jessa's husband, I don't believe you have Catholic friends because no friend would withstand your condescension and judgement.
As a Catholic, I have NEVER witnessed our community, priests and nuns put any other religion down. Never.
Never tell us they're wrong, and we're right. Never.
We just mind our own business and do what we do, so it's shocking to hear the preoccupation with us.
They sound, dare I say, jellus?
******
I was raised in the Catholic Church, and I never recall our priests or nuns, or fellow parishioners, talking down about other religions. The first time I came into contact with this sort of thinking was when I first went away to college. I joined the college's Catholic youth group, and we did a lot of both social gatherings and different fund-raisers. One gathering was to reach out to other groups of students, and we invited one group (I really don't know what religion they were - be it Baptist, or some other more fundamental type religion), and they were highly suspicious of even joining us for a meal. The first question was if we were going to serve any alcohol. We said it would be served, but only to those over 21, and that it would likely be only light drinking. The goal was not to get drunk, but to enjoy a glass of wine with a meal. Some refused to come since alcohol would be served. Others just simply did not like Catholics. It was so strange and unsettling and close-minded. So that group did not join us or ever even extend an invitation to any of their group functions.

I don't see how that is particularly Christian. The bible talks a lot about how Christ went among all the people, especially those were often considered outcasts, like those with diseases, prostitutes, and other "lesser" people, and treated them as equals. There is also the parable of how Christ changed water into wine at a wedding. So I'm not sure how some religious groups ended up being afraid they would be contaminated by associating with a group of college-age Catholic youth. I tell you -- we were all basically pretty nice kids!

It reminds me of how people can become racist or bigoted. They learn it from their parents first and foremost, and then because they will only socialize with like-minded people, those beliefs and stereotypes get reinforced. I hope that Jill and Derick will come in contact with Catholics and take some time to get to know them on a human level. Maybe then they will find out that Catholics are just like them in many ways! And are just as much Christians (or maybe even more so?) than the Dillards.

Millicent said...

Tucker's Mom said... 155
If people love my mother because she deserved their love then have at it. I would never dream of raining on their parade. I have absolutely no desire to make a scene, otherwise I would while she's still alive to witness it.
*****
You could don a bright RED suit, with an enormous, elaborate RED chapeau, replete with black blusher.
Sort of like this, but RED.
_____________________
*snicker!* That reminded me of a quote from Moonstruck (one of my favorite movies BTW):
Johnny: In time, you'll see that this is the best thing.
Loretta Castorini: In time, you'll drop dead and I'll come to yor funeral in a red dress.

Rose:

foxy said...

On the homemade video of the Duggars saying goodbye to Jill and Derick, JimBoob is standing very close to Jill with his hand on her and Derick suddenly comes from behind JimBoob and stands behind Jill with his arms around her and gives her a tug away from her father. I found this quite odd and he had an odd look on his face. Of course he is so scruffy that you can barely see his face. I think they are leaving to dodge the bullet of possible lawsuits to come.

Maybe they will come back Catholic.

Layla said...

That Gee Whiz_ tweeter needs stop telling people they won't be missed of they don't watch the show. The way ratings keep falling, TFW needs every viewer she can get!

Serendipity said...

Maybe then they will find out that Catholics are just like them in many ways!

------
I can't imagine that anyone is like them except other Gothards.

P.J. said...

So many "sects" of Christianity are threatened by the Catholic Church. Catholic bashing is quite a phenomenon. My born-again niece actually gave me a 40 page booklet on the evils of Catholicism. I read the book, gave it back to her and said it was very interesting and that I looked forward to her booklets on Judaism and Islam. She looked at me with a blank stare. She was only interested in Catholic bashing.

Yes, there are groups out there who's main goal is to convert Catholics. One of the weirdest things I ever saw. I don't know what they're so afraid of. I thought being missionaries meant you went to poor countries to convert pagans. Are we running out of pagans?

Oh, and my nephew that went to Salt Lake City? It was to convert the evil Mormons. *shrugs*

P.J. said...

AuntieAnn said...

Meh, this forgiveness thing is overblown.

8888888888888888888888888888888

I agree with you. And it's fun to pretend while you giggle inside. Kill 'em with kindness. Nope, I'm never gonna be the bigger person. There's no prize for that, is there?

Serendipity said...

Jane said... 171
Wow, that GeeWhiz_ person on Twitter is one true sicko. She sure is helping Kate's timeline look pleasant, upbeat and motherly. ( snark )

---------
I think that out of all the remaining sheeple, that one is not only the most stupid, but the most frightening, not only creepy but scary creepy!

Is she an adult (middle-aged, elderly?) or a young whipper-snapper, as my grandmother would say? One can only hope that she's not a parent. Heaven help those kids if she is.

Serendipity said...

But I bet every
time Gladys reads the theory that she and TFW are the same
person, it makes her Single White Female heart swell with joy.
Talk about being "Close To You!"

------------
At one time I thought that perhaps Milo could be Kate, but I changed my mind on that one. Not even Kate is that ignorant, clueless, and hypocritical, and that's saying a lot.

Serendipity said...

She bought herself the most expensive casket in the funeral home and -- get this -- it came with a five-year warranty. (Oh the jokes we made about THAT after she croaked).

---------------
A warranty against not being iron clad on the inside, and therefore allowing for the possibility of her breaking out before the five years were up? Or a warranty against disintegration, in which case you might find her floating down the cemetery hill and out into the streets?

Jane said...

Serendipity said... 181
Jane said... 171
Wow, that GeeWhiz_ person on Twitter is one true sicko. She sure is helping Kate's timeline look pleasant, upbeat and motherly. ( snark )

---------
I think that out of all the remaining sheeple, that one is not only the most stupid, but the most frightening, not only creepy but scary creepy!

Is she an adult (middle-aged, elderly?) or a young whipper-snapper, as my grandmother would say? One can only hope that she's not a parent. Heaven help those kids if she is

--------

Isn't she a grandmother? For some reason, I think I saw mention of that but honestly I don't know for sure. I have a suspicion that she's also behind the fake Jon account. And yeah, I agree she's scary creepy. I wonder if it's possible to alert Jon that this fake account in his name exists? Even though it's called a parody account, I'd think he could get it removed.

What's so bizarre is that this fan of Kate's doesn't seem to realize the damage she does to Kate on the Twitter timeline.

Serendipity said...

Does anyone have any idea or guesses as to the identity of this odious, loathsome Jon parody Twitter account? Is it one of the obnoxious low-life sheeple, or would a possibility be Mr. Sour Grapes Man?

Vanessa said...

Funny, I also that was treated worse by her mother than I was by mine.
************************************
Sorry, that should read "I also have a friend that was treated worse"

And yes, forgiveness for me is just.letting.it.go.
Big breath out.....

I will attend my mother's funeral, do all the nicey nice fake crap, hugging people I don't even know, accept all their condolences... I'll get see people I I genuinely will WANT to see....and then, hopefully, there will be closure.
And end to the cycle, with me anyways. I vow



Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...


******
I was raised in the Catholic Church, and I never recall our priests or nuns, or fellow parishioners, talking down about other religions. The first time I came into contact with this sort of thinking was when I first went away to college.

&&&

We would discuss the differences between the denominations in high school Sunday school, as well as in our homes, but we were also taught that your denomination doesn't matter so much as the bigger point is that all the denominations believe in Jesus. Denominations often also have as much to do with how a church is administered as it does some kind of special take on faith. For instance I don't think there really is a shred of difference worth mentioning between several of the Protestant denominations other than how church is run. Elders, deacons, pastors, finances, structure, etc.

I don't like their brand of evangelicalism that teaches something different. They are not reading the Bible carefully enough if they think your denomination is all that important. I consider them a cult, really.

Vanessa said...

P.J. said... 180
AuntieAnn said...

Meh, this forgiveness thing is overblown.

8888888888888888888888888888888

I agree with you. And it's fun to pretend while you giggle inside. Kill 'em with kindness. Nope, I'm never gonna be the bigger person. There's no prize for that, is there?
****************************************************
I'm with you.
Forgiveness to me is to not engage. Let them think they've won. Do the opposite of what my mother did. Live life and LOVE life!!! Best revenge really, don't you think?

FYI said...

Isn't she a grandmother? For some reason, I think I saw mention of that but honestly I don't know for sure. I have a suspicion that she's also behind the fake Jon account.
------------------------

She's said that she has grandkids. I also think she's behind the fake Jon account. She retweets every tweet that it makes and she's the only one retweeting that account.

Tucker's Mom said...

One small example, one time she joined a bridge club and when it came her turn to host the weekly game she charged the women a quarter for every cup of coffee they drank
*******
Jeebus, how sad. What a small, small human being.

Vanessa said...

This is funny-I too am Roman Catholic and the only other denomination bashing I experienced came from my mother.
Get this-she believes the Holocaust never happened! Yeah, she's one of "those" ugh

KyPastor said...

May I share an opinion on the Catholic bashing conversation?
When we Christians speak against other people who have proclaimed Jesus as their Lord, we are not denegrating other denominations, we are denegrating Jesus himself. He called us into a fellowship of reconciliation and grace. He did not offer the church a detailed account of ritual, how we should or should not worship, how we should dress or what we should not drink. He commanded us to love one another as he loved us. That means without prejudice about the exteriors, and a gracious heart for the spirit of Christ that is within every person who has made a sincere profession of faith. I get frustrated when any Christian denomination (and even other religions) get tromped. I believe Jesus weeps.

I shall return now to my studies. I again apologize to any who are offended by my using this platform to share my religious views.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

I remember in elementary we made ornaments out of a sawdust mixture which sort of molded like clay. Maybe it was a cheaper alternative to clay. I didn't much like the smell but I was proud of what I made, a Santa head I think. My parents dutifully hung them on the tree every Christmas. I remember a couple years later we noticed a little mold growing on them and my mom, with tears in her eyes, had to throw them out.

I actually was fine with it, I understood even at my young age you can't have an ornament kicking around with mold. But that's how a parent should be, not wanting to let something special like that go. It wasn't about the weird smelling odd sawdust ornament that grew mold. It was about your child making something just for you, and the love that went into it for you, and the precious few years where they even have interest in making an art project just for you.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

Regarding that judge I was trying to wrap my mind around how a family judge has authority to send a kid to jail then I realized the only way the family court can access the criminal courts is by holding you in contempt, which is rare. He must have found the kids in contempt for violating a court visitation order.

I didn't realize a judge can hold a minor in contempt. The kids should get their attorney to take a writ on it, if they have an attorney.

I'm going to assume the judge was at the absolute end of her rope with this family and that the kids were mouthy and being unreasonable and she couldn't get through to them. That father is very lucky to have a judge go to bat like this for his rights.

lurksalot said...

I lurk a lot, and post rarely. I, too, had a narcissist for a mother. Forgiveness was a big thing for me. Not for her, because she didn't have anything to be forgiven for, from her point of view. But for me, because I wanted to be free of her, free of the lies, free of the secrets, free of the resentment. It took me a long time, but I got there. I read the articles and some of the posts here, and I recognize her. And I recognize me. But the anger is gone, and I have learned to find compassion, but fortunately at a distance. I did it for me.

Rhymes with Witch said...

I get frustrated when any Christian denomination (and even other religions) get tromped. I believe Jesus weeps. 192

KY Pastor, I personally have always found you to be a voice of reason and always appreciate your input.

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator said...

To me forgiveness says what you did or who you are can no longer hurt me. As others have said when it involves something like this, in particular a person who won't change, it's about your own personal freedom and peace as much as anything.

P.J. said...

Vanessa said... 191
This is funny-I too am Roman Catholic and the only other denomination bashing I experienced came from my mother.
Get this-she believes the Holocaust never happened! Yeah, she's one of "those" ugh

88888888888888888888888888

My mother swore up and down that men had one less rib than women because, you know, Adam and all that.

I'm willing to bet my mother never heard of the "Hall of Costs". (I've seen that written in comments online)

P.J. said...

KyPastor said... 192

Well said. I have no problem with you voicing your opinion.

Fleecing The Sheeple said...

Gee Whiz is soooo cranky!

+++++++++++++++

LOL!! I think that's being kind. Over here, we call it crotchety, tetchy and ornery!

=================

lol is right! We call it cantankerous, kind of reminds me of Oscar the Grouch in his trash can!

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