With all the excitement over the good news, it's easy to forget that the yet to be named prince already has his life's destiny planned for him. One day, perhaps not until most of us are long gone, he will be king of England. Until then, he will likely spend most of his life being dissected by the public. Even right down to his placenta (Says England's Mirror, Kate’s boy was a healthy 8lb 6oz, suggesting she ate well during her pregnancy and the placenta worked well.)
The Mirror wrote a rather frank open letter to the new royal, urging him to remember he has a "bumhole" like everyone else and to be wary of camera phones. But the snide article also has a few good tips for the tyke:
- Privilege comes at a price. Yours is a beautifully gilded cage, but I wouldn’t want to spend my life in it. You can escape if you wish but bear in mind it’s a lot different outside than in.
- Hold an opinion. Mummy has spoken publicly on fewer occasions than I have fingers, and everyone else has to keep their lips buttoned for constitutional reasons. But
- You must find your own way in a life for which there are too many rules and at the same time not enough, where you crave privacy and rely on the public, in which everyone you meet will bow and scrape.
- At many points in your life someone will probably say that you’re ‘common’ because Mummy wasn’t Royal. This person is an idiot
- You could do lots and you could do nothing at all. It’s up to you.
- You are normal. If at any point as you grow up you doubt this, check your bumhole. If it’s still there, you’re normal.
We hope William and Kate will always make it their priority to help this baby have a happy and normal life as he swims in a very abnormal fishbowl. The Mirror calls him "lucky." Maybe not.