Diana Mercer, who has been practicing divorce law as both an attorney and mediator since 1988 (she has handled an astounding 4,000 divorces), wrote an excellent article published today explaining why Jon and Kate need to call a truce.
She had this to say, in part:
The best predictor of how kids do post-divorce is the amount of conflict between the parents. It takes two to tango. Kate's finger-pointing is a bigger problem than whatever Jon is up to. If he can't be father of the year, then it's up to her to figure out how to work with that -- and vice versa. She picked him to be the dad of those 8 kids, and now she's got to deal with her decision, and insulting Jon and refusing to resolve the ongoing conflict is no solution. For Kate to deny her role in their poor ongoing relationship is naïve and immature....And for her to speak publicly about her disappointment with Jon is damaging to the kids. While they're still little, they know they're ½ Mommy and ½ Daddy. By hearing that "Daddy is bad" they hear that they're bad, too. When they're old enough, they'll see what Mom said about Dad and form their own opinions. Kate's strategy of "I'm good; he's bad" will likely backfire on her in the long run. And what is she teaching them about how adults should handle relationships? What it means to be married, and to be parents?
Mercer goes on to point out that if Jon and Kate made an effort to be amicable, there would be more flexibility. In other words maybe Jon wouldn't have put up a fight about the kids going to Australia, and maybe he wouldn't feel the need to take Kate to court every time she wants to disrupt his schedule, if they were friends. This is a must read.
As we ring in the new year, we wish for Jon and Kate to make peace and harmony their resolution, for the kids. Happy 2011.